The Talisman
by Aaileen
Summary: We have arrived at the story's conclusion.  It is a significantly modified ending to the story that is LOST.
1. Chapter 1

The Talisman, Chapter 1

They had been back in L.A. for a week. Claire had reunited with Aaron and her mother, and they were living in Kate's home. Claire seemed to thrive under her mother's ministrations. Her mind was healing rapidly and her heart was mended the moment she saw her little boy, Aaron. Kate watched the three of them interact, Claire was tentative, Carole was tender and Aaron was confused.

Aaron looked from Carole to Claire and circled around to Kate, "Mama, take me home". He plummeted into Kate's side and buried his face in her lap and began to wail.

Carole and Kate had decided it was best for Kate to stay in a hotel nearby and to allow Aaron and Claire to adjust to life as a new family without her constant presence. Kate extricated herself slowly from his grasping arms.

She knelt down to Aaron's level and looked him in the eye, "Honey, I will always love you but I can't stay. You will be happy here, Nana loves you and Mommy-Claire loves you and you will be happy here, believe me."

Aaron looked crestfallen. Kate realized that it wasn't just disappointment written on his face, it was betrayal. Aaron felt that Kate was turning her back on him and Kate felt like she was too. Nothing, not even leaving the island had been this hard. She felt a great lump of pity gorge in her throat. She felt pity for Aaron, he was innocent and the real victim of these hellish circumstances. She felt sorrow for Claire who had endured loneliness and loss to the point of losing her mind and for Carole who found herself in the position of having to help mend her daughter and grandson's lives. She realized at that moment clearly that she had no part in that rebuilding, that her presence would only weaken what Carole and Claire were trying to repair. Kate gave one more long hug to Aaron and kissed his small cheek and left. As she closed the door of her old home behind her, Kate's legs collapsed under her and she found it difficult to breath.

Back in her room, Kate felt the weight of the last several weeks descend upon her. She had been running on adrenaline until now. There was so much to be done, so many details to attend to and now they were done. Now she was truly alone. That was nothing new, she really always had been. There were small windows of joy in her life, brief periods in which she had loved someone and it had been returned. It never lasted. Aaron, what was he to her, really? She had loved him, she still did. She had been his mother, she wasn't now. That was the stark truth. Jack's past words rang out in her mind, "You're not even related to him!" That had hurt; cut like a scalpel, like the truth, something Jack wielded with skill. She couldn't think about him, Jack. That pain was left to another era; it was something not to be revisited for now. The joys that she had known with Jack were almost unreal to her. They were like a distant story that she couldn't quite believe had happened. If she dwelt on those memories they would come close and that was something that she couldn't bear. Kate stared out of the window. It looked out onto the same ocean in which the island sat. She wondered what was happening across those thousands of miles. The mysterious island had always seemed like a malevolent presence to her. It was an enemy if she had ever seen one and she had seen many in her life time.

Her shoulder still caused her pain and after many adjustments Kate was finally able to lie down. Jack, she again chose not to think of him. She constructed mental barricades guarding against thoughts of him. But as she slept, she dreamt of him. Sleep carried her beyond the realm of volition and for every refused conscience thought of Jack she had dozens of images of him in her dreams.

_Jack carefully moved the fabric of her shirt away from her wound and pushed stray locks of hair behind her shoulder. His fingers stroked her skin with such sweetness that Kate could not exhale. She felt an oncoming rush of tears which she held in with her breath. It was as if she was a very young child who after a fall bursts into tears at the first sign of her mother's tenderness. Kate counted to five silently and looked into Jack's eyes, she nodded as he brought a skein of black thread close to her. "This is going to hurt." Kate closed her eyes and felt the sharp bite of the needle. She opened her eyes when he was done stitching and then she felt the brush of his lips above the wound and the comfort of his arms surrounding her. _

Kate woke up with a start and glanced at the clock on the night stand, lying next to it was her talisman, Tom's small plane. Kate lifted it and caressed it in her palm. She lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling, slowly her thoughts drifted toward images of darkness and light. The room tilted and Kate was no longer in her hotel room. She was standing in the jungle on the island.

"Kate." Jacob was standing about two feet away from her and he whispered, "You have to come back."

Suddenly the room tilted again and Kate was left, contemplating the brief light and dark images that followed. She knew with certainty now what she needed to do. She would go back. She had already known, even as she dove into the water at the beginning of her journey back to California, that she would return. She hadn't known when or how then but now she did and she began to formulate her plan.

When dawn broke, Kate was packed. She wrote two long letters in the wee hours of the morning, one to Sawyer and one to Claire. She let Sawyer know what she was doing. She did not expect for him to understand her decision but he was her one friend and she needed to tell him not to expect her back and not to look for her. Her letter to Claire was altogether different, Claire wasn't really a friend and things had gotten too complicated for that. She was both closer and farther than a friend, she was more like family, a crazy broken family. Kate wanted Claire to understand the confidence she had in her, she wanted her to know that she loved her, and that she was doing what she felt was best.

Kate made a call to Frank Lepidus.

"Kate! Is everything okay? Do you need anything?" The alarm in his voice was palpable. Kate was associated with the island, something that Frank was trying very hard, with the aid of some good scotch, to forget.

"Frank, I'm fine, but I need a favor. I need to know the latest coordinates you had for the island. I know that when we landed there before it was not intentional but you must have at least a vague idea of the location."

"Kate, why do you need to know this? You aren't going back are you? I don't even think that you can. Do you even know how you're getting there? Can you fly a plane?

"Yes, Frank, I can." Kate chuckled at the rush of questions. She sorted out which ones she needed to address. "I can't fly a DC-10 but I can fly a Cessna. I need to get to the island and I need to get there alone. If you can help me with coordinates and a brief idea of how best to make the jump to the island from the nearest commercial runway, I would appreciate it."

She sounded determined but Frank was gob smacked. Why would anyone want to choose to go back to that hell hole? "Kate, I am not sure that it's possible to get there. But if you must go you will have to get as close to the Solomon Islands as you can. You could land commercially at Samoa and get a plane there. I know a guy. So you have money?"

"I have some, I still have settlement money from Oceanic, enough for a 172, I think, maybe not a new one. It'll have to be good though, dependable and it'll have to have a big enough tank to get me there."

"Kate, I'll give you the coordinates, you have to be very careful, and plan not to vary your course at all. The island is a tricky bastard and you could easily crash."

After recording the numbers in her book, Kate said, "Thanks, Frank, this means a lot to me."

Kate hung up the phone and thoughtfully fingered the small object in her hand. It gleamed in the morning light, the metal sides of the small plane, her talisman.


	2. Chapter 2

The last two times that Kate had gone to the Island she had not exactly been ready. This time it would be different. She knew just the place to get prepared. She made the trip to Seattle in the afternoon and in the first vestiges of dusk she stepped into the dusty store, Austen's Outfitters.

"Dad?" Kate looked around the packed room.

"Kate? Is it you?" Sam Austen stood up from his stool behind the counter and took in the sight of his girl. She was as beautiful as ever but grim, even more so than usual and that was saying something.

"Hello, Dad." Kate looked up at him, she felt tentative and her body posed a question.

In answer, Sam came around the counter and embraced Kate in a fierce hug. His hands grasped her shoulders and he peered into her eyes. "What brings you here, Katie?

"Can't I just come and see you, Dad?"

"Yes, of course you can but you don't. Somehow, you don't look like you're on vacation." Sam's army trained eyes looked her up and down. "What do you need, honey."

Kate proceeded to tell Sam about her trip to the island. She did not tell him why she was going and he did not ask. Sam Austen had learned years ago that it did not do any good to try and pin his daughter down. Since retirement, Sam had purchased a supply store in the Northern Cascades at the Pasayten Wilderness. He was able to spend his spare hours in the woods and mountains that he loved.

"Harry, come on over here." Sam bellowed into the back room.

A huge bearded man lumbered into the room, he took one look at Kate and put his head down and began to run straight into her. He made a fake tackle move and grabbed her by the middle, he lifted her up and swung her over his shoulder and twirled. "Katie! You're here!" He put her down gently on the floor.

"God, Harry, I'm not twelve for goodness sake. Let me get my breath!" Kate stepped back and looked him over. She punched him in the shoulder and put her arms around him. They reached about a third of the way around, his height and girth dwarfed her small frame. "It's good to see you too!" She laughed and felt the same joy and sense of solid safety that she remembered as a little girl in his presence. Harry had always worked with her Dad in the army and when Sam retired, Harry did too. They fit together those two, one so taciturn and one so voluble. Kate was glad for her Dad, glad that he did not have to be alone.

Sam began to bark orders, "Harry, can you help fix Kate up with some climbing gear, some serious first aid, K-rations and boots. Kate when did you get those?"

Kate looked down at her feet and smiled at the battered hiking boots that she wore. She got them the day that she had made the trek to the cock pit that first week on the island. She never got rid of anything that was still useful, and to her they seemed serviceable. She shrugged, "They're fine, Dad."

"They'll split right open and you won't be able to replace 'em." Harry rumbled at her, "Duck tape isn't good enough where you're going, have you ever tried to use duck tape in that kind of humidity? It'll peel and make a sticky mess in no time." Harry made such a woe be gone face that Kate had to laugh.

"All right, you can get me new shoes but please, let's keep this simple, Harry."

Harry rubbed his hands together with glee in the anticipation of gearing up Kate's trip. He loved outfitting and to tell the truth Sam had put the business together as much for Harry as for himself. "Well, Katie, you'll want to make sure you have a small pack to put it in…" Kate and Harry lost themselves among the packed shelves of the store. Sam looked at them and realized what he had missed. It was ironic that this daughter of his, who wasn't really his daughter at all, was more like him than anyone else in the world.

Later that evening, Kate, Harry and Sam sat around the big slab of polished pine that served as a table in the cabin nestled in the woods behind the store.

Kate leaned back from took in the fire in the stone hearth. "Harry that was the best venison stew that I have ever eaten, thank you."

"You don't look like you have been eating much lately, Katie, and it doesn't look like you will be where you're going either. You might as well stoke up here while you can." Harry looked at Sam, "I'm off to bed, and four o'clock comes mighty early."

Without missing a beat, Kate looked up at Harry, "You gettin' up at four?"

"Nope, but it still comes might early." Kate smiled, they had made their goodbyes to each other in this way for years and Harry looked down at Kate with moistened eyes. He shook his head at her, "Katie, now don't you get hurt, that's all I got to say". He retreated up the stairs leaving Kate and her father alone.

Sam looked at his daughter, she seemed weary. "Can you stay a couple of days? You seem so tired; it would do you good to rest here."

"I need to go Dad, as soon as I can. I'm not sure how much time I have before it'll be too late. I'm flying out of Seattle tomorrow and I hope to have things ready to jump to the island by two days after that. I wish I could stay, Dad I really do.

Aware that he couldn't talk Kate into resting, Sam got down to business. "Do you have your plans set for getting to the island? I know a couple of guys in Samoa that might set you up with transport if you need it."

"I'm getting a plane, Dad. I'm gonna fly myself in, it's important that I do this alone." Kate looked determined and she folded her arms stubbornly over her chest. She expected a fight from Sam on this and she got one.

"What!" Sam rose from his chair, his voice reached a full bellow. "What are you thinking? It's been years since you've flown. Can you even remember how?" His fist slammed onto the table, "Kate you are crazy, do you know that?"

"Yes, Dad, I do know that. I know full well that I am crazy. But I have to do this thing. It is as important as anything I've ever done. Hell, it's more important. Nothing you can say will stop me, so you might as well calm down."

Sam slumped in his chair. This girl in front of him, no, this woman, would never have an easy life. The comforts of home that he was used to now after his peripatetic army life were not in the cards for Kate. She would never stop her running, she would never settle down, she wouldn't be safe. It killed him to see it, would it really be so bad for her to just stay put for a while? Would it kill her to be happy?

"Dad, I know you don't like this. I am so sorry that I can't just stay here with you and Harry for a while. I wish I could, I've always felt comfortable with you both, we understand each other. At least sometimes I think that you and Harry are the only people that understand me." Kate looked at Sam and he saw a flash of pain in her eyes.

It was as far in as she was going to let him in. As quickly as he saw the pain he saw it swallowed up. Kate composed herself and stood up. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, honey." Sam embraced his daughter and he held her longer than he ever had before.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack lay on the floor of the bamboo grove. He was so tired; this kind of weariness was beyond his experience. Everything was so still and all he could perceive was the feeling of a great heaviness descending upon his body. Time slowed to a crawl and nearly stopped until he looked up through the leaves of the bamboo. He saw the plane overhead. With Jack's sight of that plane, time again carried on its relentless pace. The plane was getting off of the island and Claire was going home. It was something of a miracle. The corners of his mouth rose in the smallest of smiles, his breath caught in his throat, the plane meant that Kate was safe.

His mind churned through his physical pain. He had saved the island and if Jacob was to be believed he had saved the world. Things like this, saving the world, that was way beyond his pay grade and he was a surgeon for god's sake, that's a pretty high pay grade.

Jack recalled what Sawyer had said before the explosion. It seemed a century ago. He said' "In my world a man usually does something because he wants something. What do you want, Jack?'

Kate. He thought at the time that he had lost her, that what they had had was broken, it was irreparable. He knew now, that wasn't true. He remembered those last moments when she finally said, "I love you". Those words were the sweetest of send offs. It was the first time that she had put it so plainly, Kate was nothing if not enigmatic. She never said things straight out, she didn't speak much about her feelings. Jack had learned to read her heart through her body, she could tell you so much by the way she stood or the way she turned her head. He remembered when he came to stay with her and Aaron and how she would stand at the door and listen to him read aloud to the boy. Her body spoke of her feelings so clearly. She would lean on the doorframe and angle her head just so and the way she looked at him took him by surprise. No one had ever looked at him like that before; it was as if Kate had never seen anything as wondrous as him. Normally with Kate, Jack didn't need words. But then, when she told him those three simple words, Jack had needed them. He had needed the power that they held and they were powerfully charged with the fact that they had never been uttered before. They had been lived though and Jack knew it. He knew it all the way down to his core. But right then, those words had given him the power to do what he needed to do. It had given him the power to go down into the cave and to replace the stone. It had given him the power to come out and lie down and wait to look into the sky and to know that Kate was safe. Now it was all right to die, and he could rest. His work done, Jack closed his eyes.

Seven hours later Rose was picking up debris from around her and Bernard's shelter. "Damn island," she muttered to herself, "I didn't know that we were in earthquake territory. I knew we had polar bears, weird monsters and cliffs and now we have earth quakes."

"Bernard", she called out, "can you get that fire stoked a little higher? I think it's time for some tea, I bet your feet are about to fall off. I know mine are and we should sit a minute. Ooof…." She turned around.

Vincent was pushing on her leg.

"Move, Vincent. Are you hungry baby?" Rose patted the dog and rubbed against his ears. "I'll get you something in a minute."

Vincent continued to push at her leg, more insistent. "All right", Rose chuckled, "don't be in such a hurry, I'm getting you something now."

Rose reached under a pile of fruit and retrieved a bone for the dog. "I know this isn't much, honey but it's all I got." She handed the bone to the dog.

Vincent looked at the bone and nosed it for a few seconds and continued to push against Rose's leg.

"Bernard!" Her voice rose sharply and Bernard looked up at his wife with concern. He had learned to read her voice and this was a red alarm tone.

"What is it Rose?"

"It's Vincent, I don't know what he wants but I have never seen him turn down a bone before. He wants something and I don't know what it is." Rose continued to caress Vincent's ears.

Bernard made his way through the debris and knelt down to look at Vincent. "What is it, boy? Did the shaking scare you? I was scared too, but it's over now and it's gonna be all right."

"Bernard, I don't think Vincent is scared about something that happened hours ago and he doesn't talk. He can't understand you and he's certainly not gonna be able to answer all those questions."

"But he understands you, huh? You talk to him all the time and you know it, Rose." Bernard looked at his wife with mingled affection and exasperation."

"Vincent, just ignore him. What is it boy?" Rose returned her attention to the dog. Vincent was now walking a few feet away from her, giving a sharp bark and doubling back to nose at her knee. "Bernard, I think we need to follow Vincent, I think he wants us to."

Bernard was already walking after Vincent, who was beginning to take off at a run. Rose followed and she called out, "Slow down boy, we're not as young as we used to be!"

Bernard shook his head and grumbled under his breath, "See, you're talking to him right now, Rose."

After forty five minutes of hard walking through circuitous dog paths Rose, Vincent and Bernard got to the bamboo grove. Bernard was the first to see the body lying in the grasses. He called out to Rose, "Wait there a minute Rose, I think I see something."

Rose stood stock still, she saw Jack's reclining form and sunk to her knees. "Oh, god, Bernard, it's not Jack is it?"

Bernard knelt by Jack, felt for a pulse and placed his cheek close to his mouth to detect any signs of breathing. "Yes it is Rosie, he's alive but only barely. We need to get him back to our cabin somehow. We should get him under some shelter before it rains and see if we can get him to drink. I don't really know if we can help him."

Rose crept close to Jack and knelt by his side; she placed her hand gently on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Bernard closed his eyes out of respect, he was not a religious man but he figured if there was a god he should listen to Rose.

Rose looked up, "Bernard this is a good man, the best I've met besides you and we have to help him. Get two long bamboo poles and I'll go back and get some reeds, we might be able to rig up a stretcher of some sort so that we can at least drag him back somehow."

Later that evening, they had Jack settled on a make shift bed of reeds and blankets in their shelter. Bernard got up from Jack's side and joined Rose by a waning fire, "I don't know if he is gonna make it, honey. He has lost a lot of blood and his wounds are very deep, especially the one in his side. Without antibiotics, I can't see him pulling through. All we can really do is make him comfortable.

Rose looked at Bernard; she had been crying quietly, she loved the dying man like a son. "I don't know Bernard, Vincent found him and then he led us to him. Maybe something miraculous might just happen, this is the island after all."


	4. Chapter 4

Kate landed at the Falcolo airport just after the sun rose. It sent a pale gleam over the morning and the feeling of it washed through her. Kate was resolved, confident in what she was about to do. She was good at beginnings and here she was ironically, at the beginning of going back.

This wasn't the first time she had done this. Before she had gone for Claire, and ultimately for Aaron, even though that seemed to be such a difficult, tangled, back handed way of helping her little boy. Not hers, not hers, she had to remind herself over and over again, because that was the reality now. Aaron was Claire's little boy, it was a thing that had been broken with Claire's disappearance and Aaron and Kate's sudden and nearly accidental departure from the island. It was a thing that was now fixed, the cracks and fissures would take time to heal and they would leave a scar but the repair remained.. Claire was back, Claire was a mother again. Kate was not. It was hard to get her mind around those facts, no, not her mind. It was hard to get her heart around them. Kate was determined to do so. She would relinquish Aaron to Claire, it was right but it was hard like most right things.

The last time she had come back, it hadn't just been for Aaron, it hadn't just been for Claire, Kate knew deep down that it had been for Jack. With her landing in Samoa, Kate was able to draw back the bar on the door that had kept her from thinking of him. She could release her thoughts because now she was going back for him. She always went back for him.

She remembered the night she went to him. When she left Aaron with Carol, her body brought her to Jack's. It wasn't as if there was a decision involved, it was the only thing. It was an instinctual migration, as biological as a bird in a southward flight before winter. When someone is in pain, they want to go home. Kate went home and home was Jack. She remembered lying upon his bed and letting the comfort of his scent surround her. She wept at the loss of Aaron, she knew even then that he was irretrievable.

Then she heard his footsteps as he made his way through his darkened apartment. As he neared the bedroom his footsteps became softened. It was as if he knew that his approach to her had to be tentative, gradual, the way you approach any animal in pain. Then she heard her name. "Kate." She had waited so long to hear him say it again; it was what she came here for. At the sound of her name on his lips, she felt somehow solidified, more real, like she mattered. She couldn't tell Jack what had happened; if she did, it would be her undoing. If she told him about Aaron, her loss would be made as real as Jack made her by just uttering her name. Aaron's departure would enter the world of solid things and for Kate it needed to stay back in the shadows, a realm where hope could exist. The only place for hope of reunion with Aaron was in the darkness, not in the light of day. Reality was a rock hard thing, it shone bright and brittle and allowed for no false hope, it made room for responsibility, duty and certainty. Reality and the light of day is where Jack always led her. He was the solid ground and she needed it under her feet right then,

Kate had real difficulty processing her feelings for Jack. They weren't anything that she was familiar with; she had never known that kind of need. She had not experienced the need for the presence of another person, the pressing desire she felt with every thought of him. When Jack said her name in the darkened room her need became overwhelming. She responded to it by reeling forward and opening her mouth to his. His lips were so soft and her need was so great. She kissed him fiercely and his response was immediate. He had needed her too. There was no time for words, or even for small gestures of tenderness. Their bodies breached the chasm of all the misunderstandings between them. The breach had been long, it was formed of jealousy and stubbornness and pride, cross purposes and fear. But that night they flew across that divide as they consummated their love.

What was Jack doing now, what was he thinking, feeling? Was he alive? She knew that he had to be, he couldn't…..Kate would not finish that sentence. She let the thought of Jack in with a great rush. It was as if a building fully intact, the façade that contained her thoughts, burned and collapsed with the flick of a tiny match. With this return to the island, her mind bent to single thought, to a single syllable. Jack.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Well, guys, here is a new chapter. Please be patient with me, it is my first fan fiction story and I have a lot to learn. I am very humbled by the other writers of J&K stories and I would like to acknowledge Yas and Erica especially as their stories about the names "Jack" and "Kate" finally pushed me to write my own story. I know that in this story things are taking a long time but don't lose heart, Kate will make it to the island eventually!**_

Kate hired a driver to take her to the capital city of Apia, she directed him to the address that Frank had given her. She knew better than to bank on people who were introduced as "a guy someone knows" but she needed a plane and she trusted Frank.

The driver looked at the address Kate had handed him, and looked up at her. It wasn't every day he got to drive a woman as attractive as this and it made him feel chatty. "Oh yeah, this address is Palolo, you goin' to the Blue Hole?"

"Yeah, I think this guy is a diver." Kate looked up at him, he seemed like he knew something about the Marine Reserve. "You've been there before?"

"I take tourists there all the time, this guy, Milo, the one you're looking for. He has the best outfit at the Hole and if you didn't have his name and you wanted to dive, I would have taken you to him. He's a good operator; you need to be careful though. He does a lot more than just deal with diving and knows how to squeeze money out of a rock."

Kate took this information in. She had a lot of negotiations to make and this guy seemed to know Milo. The ride was short, less than thirty kilometers and Kate used the time well, garnering all of the facts that this loquacious driver could give her. He dropped her off, offering his services again and warning her against shady dealings. Kate tipped him very well and shook off his continuous offers to see her to the door.

Kate made her way into a building that nestled itself beside the vast Pacific Ocean. The name of the enterprise was _Palolo Blue Hole Diving Incorporated_ but that didn't come close to defining this outfit. It was enormous and diving was only a tiny portion of its business. This was a cavernous space packed with equipment. The gritty reality of the warehouse juxtaposed with the ocean jarred Kate's senses but it was a familiar feeling. Sometimes on the island Kate would be struck by the odd pairing of the camp with its ugly plane wreckage being wrestled into usefulness lying along the side of the vast and beautiful Pacific. She stepped around columns of seemingly useless machinery, old engines and gears, electric cable and oxygen tanks. Nothing about this place was helter skelter though; each item seemed carefully separated from the others, catalogued. The configuration reminded Kate of Harry's systematic chaos at the shop, he always knew instantly where anything was when her father called for it from the desk. This warehouse had the unmistakable stamp of an army requisitions officer. Kate placed her hand on one of the crates at her feet, yup, there it was, a military insignia, interesting.

"Hey! What are you doing sneaking around my stuff, get out of there!" A gravelly voice bellowed at Kate, she jumped guiltily, taken aback by the nearness of it. She looked up, perched high on a shelf above her sat a man with a clip board, he pushed his pencil behind his ear and cocked his head at her. He looked her up and down slowly and whistled slowly between his teeth. Kate clenched her jaw, this little guy reminded her of Sawyer.

"Well, well what do we have here, a real looker in more ways than one. What do you want?" The man jumped down nimbly. Kate had to repress her laughter, he reminded her of a wizened leprechaun protecting his pot of gold.

"Are you Milo?"

"You certainly know how to get to the point. What if I am?" The man tapped his clip board nervously; he looked over his shoulder, back in the direction Kate had come.

"Frank Lepidus gave me your name and he thought you might be able to help me with a few things." Kate reassured him, she understood suspicion. She saw that upon hearing Frank's name, the man relaxed, he rolled his shoulders slightly and looked back at her with bright bird like eyes, still waiting.

"Yeah, I'm Milo and I don't like to give my name before I know someone else's, so what's yours?"

"Kate" Even after all of these years Kate still felt like giving her name was a concession. It always came out reluctantly; she let out a small sigh and continued, "Austen, I'm Kate Austen." She put out her hand.

Milo grasped her hand and looked closely at her face. "Austen? I knew someone with that name but you don't look like him. Aw hell, you remind me of him though, something about you. It's crazy. But he was a guy I knew in the army, the best officer I know. That isn't saying much though because I don't know many good officers."

"Was the officer Sam Austen?" Kate was not completely surprised at this connection, army requisitions was a small world and this warehouse was unmistakably run by a veteran. "He's my dad."

Milo had a huge grin on his face and shook his head. "You come back here with me, I've got some cold beer in the office and I got a few questions for you before I see what I can do for you. You've got to be Katie, I've heard a lot about you, some of it not so great. You've had a rough go of it"

Kate looked down, she didn't often run across people who linked who she used to be with who she was and she didn't know if she liked it. She tended to look at her life as divided into two unhinged halves, before the island and after. This guy knew her history.

Milo interrupted her contemplations. He sucked on his teeth and said, "It's okay, we all got a past, if you're Sam's girl, you're all right with me. Is Sam still hangin' around with Harry? Harry and me, we go way back. Never met a better requisitions man- he could get anything, anything at all and fast. What's he doing now?

Kate filled Milo in on her Dad and Harry as they shared a few cold beers. She made her way around to her purpose there and asked Milo about a plane. "I'd like a Cessna 172. Not new, it's got to be a good, maybe modified from 180 to a 210 hp. I would like some extra fuel tank capacity in the wing tips and maybe some wheel pants. I've got a long way to go.

It took a day to get the plane, Milo had connections on the Island and the plane materialized from some corner of Samoa that Kate had never heard of. The modifications were done by a mechanic that worked quickly and accurately, Milo spoke to the mechanic in rapid fire Samoan, circling around the little plane and Kate paid her an exorbitant fee for her rapid work.

"You can sleep here tonight Kate, I've got an extra room and you can check and recheck your gear one more time." Milo led Kate to a bungalow on the beach several yards away from the warehouse. It was spotless and so beautiful that it took her breath away. A tiny older woman took hold of Kate's hand.

"I'm Aveolela, Milo's wife." She greeted Kate warmly and led Kate to a small room in her home and brought her a cup of cold tea. "You rest, welcome to our home." Kate was astonished at this domestic corner of Milo's world; it reminded her of Sam and Harry's place. This was a small corner of happiness, incongruous in its surroundings. Seeing it gave Kate a small measure of hope, just enough.

The next morning with the sunrise, Kate made her way to the plane. Milo had arranged for her to take off at a small runway nearby. She took a deep breath and got into the small cock pit. She checked and rechecked her fuel levels and made sure that she had her numbers lined up. She reached into her pocket, and fingered the small plane that rested there. She knew that she had had it nearby the other times she had landed on the island. No, the other times she had crashed. Superstitiously, she wondered if the presence of the talisman was the reason that she had arrived safely on the island before. She really didn't know, but she did know that she wouldn't make this trip without it. Kate took the plane out of her pocket and arranged it in front of her. She made a sign of farewell to Milo and his wife and looked ahead at the open sky. Kate started the engine; she was finally going to the island.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack lay in the cabin, drifting in and out of consciousness, when he was awake, he was in great pain. He knew his wound was infected and he wished for Bernard and Rose's sake that he hadn't been rescued. He knew that it took a great deal of effort for Rose and Bernard to survive on the island, especially after last week's turbulence, let alone with a great, hulking, sick guy in their shelter. He wasn't just being unselfish though, his pain was severe and he longed for it to be over.

He slept fitfully and as he did his mind was taken over by a blend of memories, dreams and visions. They were dreams of what could have been, the visions were of what could never be and the memories were of Kate.

His feverish mind first drew him deeply back into memories of his first weeks on the island, those early days after the first crash. His memories were clear, prosaic and unfortunately, all too accurate. In those first weeks he spent many long, solitary nights in the caves and he used to wish keenly that Kate was with him. He thought of her on the beach, and he cursed her stubbornness, hell, he damned his own stubbornness. Not that it made any difference; they were both pigheaded and likely to remain so. His dreams however, were in marked contrast to his memories because in his dreams, his desires came true.

His dreams brought him to what could have happened in those long island nights. Jack dreamt that he lay on his pallet in the cave peering into the darkness. He looked toward the mouth of the cave and then he saw her; outlined at the entrance with the fading light of the campfire behind her. Her body was golden, glowing from the reflection of the fire's flames. She was looking at him as he lay there and she was so still, like a deer paralyzed in midflight mesmerized by oncoming lights. He did not know how long she had been there but the thought of her watching him, so still in the fire's light, filled his sleepy mind with a strange delight.

She spoke; her voice was so low that Jack had to lean forward to hear her, "I couldn't sleep." With those words she came to him and she knelt at his side. She bent her face shyly, down into her own chest, waiting for a response. She seemed embarrassed at her weakness, at her need to come to him. Jack felt a surge of joy rise within his chest, he tried to control it but his body would not obey. He took hold of her face, her eyes were wild and almost frightened and her mouth was so close. He lifted her chin so that she could see him. When their eyes met, she understood that he had wanted her to come…badly. Jack leaned forward and kissed her, the movement was quick and filled with urgency but his touch was very tender. Her lips were so soft, just as he had imagined that they would be. She let him kiss her and to Jack it felt as if he was rousing her from a deep sleep. Kate parted her lips in response and Jack deepened the kiss, his hands gently trailing down her body to rest upon the silky curve of her waist. Jack pulled her body closer, closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her breathing, pausing to revel in her nearness.

His dream changed subtly, gradually becoming both more unreal and more solid at the same time, the colors became deeper and the edges of everything that Jack's eyes could see became sharper. It was as if the cave crystallized in his mind. This dream was becoming something more, something resembling a vision. Jack had always scoffed at such things but he had changed, the island had transformed everything.

This vision was fantastical, it was imbued with a wild magic. In the darkness, Kate stood slowly and gently led him to the entrance of the cave. As he looked upon her he saw a new radiance in her. He had always thought that Kate was beautiful; it was even distracting and difficult for him at times. But, tonight, as they stood together in the firelight, she took his breath away.

He had to look aside to collect himself, "Kate, what are you doing, where are we going?" Jack asked her, confused. Kate shushed him, and placed her fingers on his lips and gave him the barest hint of a smile.

Jack felt a stab of pain in his side; he looked down and noticed that he was bleeding. Kate reached down and Jack felt her cool, soothing touch upon the wound. Kate then grasped his hand, tracing his fingers lightly with her own and turned to face the night. The air caught at their bodies and lifted them, carrying them high into the night sky. The wind careened around them sending them far from the caves and over the jungle and to the beach beyond. They looked down and they could see the camp at rest in the wee morning hours. The wind slowed to a gentle breeze and sent them both gliding far out to the sea. They dipped and rolled together, flying in arches as gently as doves and as joyously as swallows, swooping impossibly high and diving down, careening downward to the glassy surface of the deep, dark sea.

Jack's body was alternately hot and cold and Bernard and Rose did what they could to bring down the fever, Rose placed cool damp clothes on his head and chest and Bernard kept him hydrated the best he could, dripping water down his throat while he lay there. When Jack was awake, he wouldn't drink, the suffering was too great and as a rational doctor he did not wish to prolong it. Jack became overcome with chills and Bernard and Rose could not cover him with enough blankets to warm him.

"Bernard", Rose looked at her husband with desolation in her eyes, "I think that we need to get the fire built up. We need to bring Jack out to it and warm him up and I can't think of anything else to do. Let's move him, I'll sit with him if you'll please get some more wood or anything you can find to stoke the flames."

Bernard looked at his exhausted wife and knew that this was a fool's errand; they really couldn't do anything to help. But a larger fire might warm Rose, even if it couldn't help Jack, so he got up. "Sure honey, I'll help to get Jack arranged and then get some more wood."

Rose and Bernard got a delirious Jack settled by the fire. Bernard began to drag wood and put it on the flames. Soon the fire was roaring and it crackled and spit high into the night sky.

As the hours passed Bernard and Rose felt hopelessness settle in and realized that this was no longer a rescue mission. Jack was going to die. They waited with their friend for the end to come and hoped that it would not be too long.

Kate flew on, the trip was long and she heeded the vectors carefully. She recalled Frank's instructions, not letting herself veer off course for even a moment. The darkness was beginning to settle and she became fearful, she was not a good night time flyer, her experience and her equipment limited her to a daytime journey. Fuel was not limitless and she knew that her flight would have to end soon whether she reached the island or not. She hoped that her landing would not be out in the middle of the ocean.

She glanced at the talisman, the small plane that she had worked so hard to keep by her side for as long as she could remember. Its pull upon her was extreme. She remembered robbing a bank to get that plane. She remembered choosing to stay at the beach during those early days on the island for that plane. She gave Jack the idea that it was the signal fire that kept her away from the caves, she also remembered telling him she didn't want to be Eve. That part was true but it wasn't really that. She stayed on the beach because she had the hope that if she stayed near the site of the crash, perhaps the little plane would show up somewhere. She had thought then that maybe Sawyer had found the Halliburton case and had hidden it away where she might be able to find it. When she and Sawyer had found the case in the water and she had the plane once more, it was too late for her to leave the beach. Because of her lack of candor, no, Kate needed to be honest with herself, because of her deception; Jack hadn't even wanted her to move to the caves anymore.

She had owned the plane since she was a young girl; it had always been hidden away in a lunch box that she had lifted from a convenience store in her small Iowa town. Its significance was beyond her understanding. But because of the plane, she knew that there were times that she could know things, she could see things that she wouldn't have been able to know or see if she hadn't had it. Now was such a time. She knew that she would make it to the island and she knew beyond all reason that Jack was alive.

Her plane went on and on into the darkening sky. Dusk was settling and Kate did some serious reckoning. She had stayed on course but as twilight approached she couldn't see anything, it was now beginning to be just an endless path of darkness. She did not think that there were any lights on the island. There was nothing to let her know that she would be approaching. Her heart sank, the little plane had never really let her down, but there was always a first time and this seemed to be it. Her plane was dangerously low on fuel and she was irretrievably lost. This was it, it really was the end. The plane began to lose altitude and Kate began to prepare herself for a descent into the dark ocean.

Kate looked one last time for a glimmer in the gathering darkness, a mere shred of hope remaining. She caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye and she saw the tiny flicker of a flame. She looked again, there it was. A fire! My God, thought Kate, a fire! It had to be the island. The numbers were right, Oh, God, it had to be! With the fire, she could see her approach, she could land! A new joy rose in Kate's heart, Jacob and the talisman hadn't let her down. She could land in the darkness; the flames of the fire could lead her home.


	7. Chapter 7

The intense darkness began to lift. The pale sliver of the waning moon rose and cast its weak light upon the coast of the island. With a great sigh of relief Kate saw in the horizon beyond, the faint outline of the island's shore.

As she approached, the plane was losing altitude. Without panicking, Kate relied on her intelligence, instincts and experience. She glanced toward the artificial horizon on the control panel; held the control yoke in her hands and corrected her pitch. She looked down, the beach was now below her and she maneuvered the plane so that she could land it along its narrow length.

Kate assessed the situation. The beach was such a thin strip that upon landing, the leaves of the jungle trees would nick the plane's wings. It was going to be very close; she would have to land with extreme accuracy. She looked at her instruments and noticed that she was losing speed; the plane was falling below seventy knots. She pushed the nose of the plane down so that it wouldn't stall. Kate pulled back the throttle and listened carefully for the whine of the engine to change its pitch.

Ahead of her the jungle loomed, the beach was ending abruptly and the plane careened forward. Kate needed to touch down. She felt panic rise like a gorge in her throat, she swallowed hard and started the mental count that Jack had taught her well. Upon its completion, Kate felt a familiar sense of calm and her busy hands took over. She grabbed the trim wheel and held tight onto the yoke and while holding fast, she gingerly turned the tiny rubber knob. The plane was properly prepared for landing. Kate then grabbed the gear handle with her other hand and let the landing gear down.

Just as the dark beach began to trail off she raised the nose of the plane and with her feet she put pressure on top of the rudder pedals. The wheels touched down on the sand, bouncing at the sudden contact. Kate was knocked back and her head rocked forward, she braced her legs for more impact and opened her eyes wide. The plane seemed to gain speed upon landing because the jungle trees were now pummeling the wings of the plane on one side.

With one shaking hand, Kate grabbed the talisman. It had never been a good luck charm but she held it tight. Her prayers had never worked before but she prayed even so, to any god still in the business of listening to her. Gritting her teeth and clenching every muscle in her body she braced herself for the final crash. It never came. The roar of the Cessna's engine ceased and in the sudden silence, Kate looked around in shock. The plane had shuddered and stopped, just inches from the edge of the jungle.

Meanwhile back in the clearing, Bernard and Rose continued to care for Jack.

"Kate…Kate…damn it.…Kate." Jack thrashed around and his arms wheeled violently. He wrestled with his blankets, throwing them off as he struggled to rise from his pallet. His voice was a faint whisper but Rose could hear him as he continued his battle with the woman long gone. Sweat was pouring off of his face and Rose tried to settle and sooth him. She held his shoulders down and tried to calm him by softly whispering gentle words, "Jack, it'll be okay, she's not here, she's safe at home." She dipped her cloth into the bowl of cooling water and gently wiped his forehead. Jack grabbed her hand, his fingers gripped her tightly and Rose winced at the pressure. "No. Kate. I can't..find..." The whisper was desperate, and Rose looked at Jack in alarm. He stared at her, fear was drawn upon his face and horror widened his eyes. Jack collapsed onto his back and fell into unconsciousness again.

_Thirty minutes earlier_

Jack's visions, memories and dreams were no longer distinct, they blended into a mosaic of sensations. His fantastical visions of flight continued.

The ocean breezes led him and Kate on a journey through the night sky. They were carried farther and farther over the Pacific. A waft of air caught them in its current and spun them in circles. Jack looked up at Kate's whirling body; she was leaning back with both of her hands grasping his, lost in the sheer physical wonder of their aerial dance. They lost themselves, abandoning their bodies to the breezes and to the vast and empty sky. Kate looked deep into Jack's eyes and gave him a smile of pure delight. Jack put his head back and laughed, it came from somewhere deep inside of him. He was experiencing true joy, a great ringing kind of gladness.

She pulled his body closer to her own, tightening their circles into a small vortex, until their movements were barely discernable, a faint blur on the horizon. Their spinning began to slow, wobbling to an end like a top and they fell over, Kate entangled in Jack's arms. The breeze continued to support them as they lay together breathless with the pleasure of their dance.

Kate placed her hand upon Jack's face, a tentative touch, barely felt. Jack groaned at the feeling of her delicate fingers tracing his mouth. His senses were heightened by their dizzying dance and even the slightest of Kate's feather like gestures were enough to fill him with sensuous pleasure. His mind was suddenly filled with the sensations of her small body's pressure against his own. Kate shifted herself upward and placed her mouth upon his. She let her tongue trace his bottom lip, waiting patiently and almost shyly for him to open his mouth to receive her. Jack found her gesture to be so endearing, so young and vulnerable, so unlike the Kate that she sometimes tried to be that he thought that his heart would break. He opened his mouth to her and invited her in and the feeling of her joyous entrance vanquished the possibility of any reasonable thought.

The wind pulled at them and they climbed impossibly high. The air was thinning and they continued to rise. As they reached the peak of their ascent, they suddenly dropped. The air ceased to carry them and they fell like shot birds, plummeting in a straight, terrifying line into the black water below. Jack felt the force of the water's impact on his body, and he sank deep into the sea. The darkness surrounded him and he struggled to push himself back to the surface. He straightened his arms above his head and pushed against the weight of the water. He kicked his legs with a powerful surge and broke through to the surface. Breathing great gulps of air he looked around desperately. All he could see all around him was a glassy darkness; it was still, without a breath, without a whisper of motion.

He dove back into the water, pushing blindly through the waves, desperately reaching through the darkness to feel for her body. He came up for breath and dove back in again and again. As the minutes passed, all reasonable hope died. And yet he continued on.

Bernard and Rose listened to the night sounds of the jungle especially aware of the faint and raspy breathing of their friend. Jack lay, out cold like a stone and the battle was almost over.

"Rose", Bernard arranged himself on a log next to his wife's slumped figure. "Don't lose heart, Jack was", he gestured toward Jack, "is, a great man. The end comes for all of us, at least he knows that he hasn't been alone. We've been here for him, there is value in that."

Rose looked up at Bernard with tears on her cheeks. "Bernard, I know that, I'm glad that we found him and that we have been able to be with him, but I wish that his last hours weren't so tormented. Something is terribly wrong, I can feel it. I don't know what it is, but he would not have such fear for no reason. I do not think that Jack fears death, he has been too good a man for that. There is something else pulling at him, there is some reason that he can't find peace and I think that it might have something to do with Kate."

"Kate is long gone, honey. She went back, I'm sure, on that plane we saw leave after the earthquake. I think everyone is gone except for us and Jack. I'm not sure about it and I didn't think I cared." Bernard rubbed Roses shoulders gently bringing her the reassurance that his words couldn't provide.

"Well, Bernard, I think that Jack cares. He can't find a peaceful exit for some reason. I wish I knew what it was. I wish that we could help him somehow, not just with his body but with his spirit. You didn't hear him, Bernard, you didn't see his face. The terror was so real."

Meanwhile, Jack continued to dream. His mind was transported far beyond the realm of his suffering body as he continued in his frenzied search for Kate. He dove into the waves repeatedly, carefully planning a perimeter around himself, trying to take a tactical approach to his fruitless search. His body began to wear out, he felt a burning sensation in his arms and legs and his lungs were on fire. He felt as if he had run a marathon at a sprinter's pace. His body finally gave out and he began to sink. The water swallowed him in the dark. He felt a strong grip around his midsection that pushed him up, interrupting his descent. A surge of energy pushed him up higher into the shallower parts of the ocean, he was swallowing vast gulps of sea water and as he was pushed out and onto the surface he sputtered and snorted and shook his head, his eyes shut tight against the water. He wanted it to be over already, he couldn't find her, he couldn't find her and he did not want some shark, sea otter or mermaid or whatever the hell it was to save his skin. It was better left undone. The grip around his body shifted and grasped his shoulders taking the weight of his weary body onto itself. He struggled mightily to resist it but he was so tired and he couldn't resist anymore. He opened his eyes. In the dark night he saw the delicate shape of Kate's silhouette, as she used every ounce of her strength and energy to support his weight in the water. She was pulling him through the waves toward a raft. She brought him to the edge of the vessel and he was pushed up and into the waiting arms of his friend Hurley. Jack looked around and saw an exhausted Sayid, Sun, Desmond, Frank and Aaron. Kate hoisted herself into the raft and fell, completely spent by his side. Floating in the dark water around them he saw the debris of a helicopter, the helicopter that had carried them many years ago, the first time that they had escaped the island.

The dream continued. The dawn came, the sun rose over the horizon and Jack opened his eyes. His friends were still there, sleeping the deep sleep of the truly exhausted as they were rocked on the waves by the large rubber raft. Kate however, was awake perched in her familiar position, one that Jack recalled seeing her in many times at the beach. Her chin was supported by her knees which were drawn up close to her chest and she was looking far out to the horizon. Upon hearing his rustling body, she turned slowly and looked at him with wide eyes.

"What in the hell were you doing out there, Jack? I had to fight with you to bring you in, you wouldn't come. I almost had to knock you out, you kept on diving back into the water."

"You couldn't." Jack shook his head, he was so confused that he decided to approach this conversation like a snarly algebra problem, one step at a time, first things first.

"I couldn't what, Jack?" Kate hissed her words, she would have been yelling if she hadn't been surrounded by sleeping castaways.

"You couldn't knock me out." Jack smiled and let out a short, weary laugh. He wiped his forehead with his hand and bent his head to the side, looking up at Kate from under his lowered brow. "You weigh, god, what is it, half what I do?"

"Jack, it's certainly more than that. And yes I could." She straightened her shoulders, and sniffed in mock injury. "It's not just size that wins in a fight, Jack, there's skill and I bet I have the advantage in that department." She looked at him and in spite of herself she let a smile twist the corner of her mouth up. "Seriously, Jack, what happened out there? I thought that we were both going to go down. Are you all right?"

Jack became frustrated at her attempts to pin him down. He didn't know what happened out on the ocean in the night. So he resorted to sarcasm. "Yeah, Kate, I'm just fine. I'm in the middle of the ocean with seven other people and we just crashed our helicopter and there is no rescue in sight. Aside from that, everything is dandy."

Kate turned aside and dropped the conversation. She returned to her former reverie staring out onto the horizon, this time though she reached deep into the pocket of her salty, grubby jeans and pulled out a tiny plane, the talisman.

"Bernard, look, he's waking up!" Rose was shaking him, he had fallen asleep by the fire and the dawn had just broken.

"Rose, I don't think…he can't be, he…" Bernard looked at Jack's reclining figure on the blankets nearby. He was still feverish and he still seemed in pain but his breathing was even and his eyes were open. He looked at Rose and Bernard and gestured weakly toward the water bottle. Bernard handed it to him and Jack took it with shaking hands and drank.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate took her shaking hands off the controls and shook her head. She took in a deep and cleansing breath and exhaled slowly then she gingerly opened the cockpit door.

Here she was on the beach, near the jungle, at the island. Again. Kate closed her eyes and let herself rest a moment, she tried to regain a sense of calm, her heart was still racing from the landing. Something unreasonable had happened she should have crashed; she should be hurt, a lot of things should have happened. But they didn't. And again, the island faced her.

The question now, where was Jack? Had she expected him to be just waiting on the beach for her? Perhaps with a Mai Tai and a fresh towel? She knew how absurd her plan was all along. She recalled the age old advice, when you're not sure what to do, "do the next thing". So she would do what she was good at next. She would look for tracks. If anyone was here recently, even if it wasn't Jack, maybe they would lead her to him.

She had been to the island once before with one simple mission in mind and it had gotten complicated. That was putting it mildly, it was laughable really how complicated her search for Claire ended up being. In the end, it was Jack who knew all along what her true purpose had been in returning to the island, even though she had never told him in so many words. He had reminded her of it at the very end and he had pushed her to its conclusion. She had almost hated him for it, sending her away, but she would be forever grateful to him. Getting Claire home had been a good thing. A shining thing. It was her truly golden deed in a lifetime of many broken attempts.

Kate determined that this mission would not be complicated by side issues. She would not turn aside for anything or anyone. She would not be distracted or waylaid. She would not stop. She would find Jack.

She chuckled at her own thoughts, distractions were not likely. No one was here, the island was utterly silent and empty.

Kate dusted off her hands and reentered the plane, she dragged out her gear, full of items that Harry had painstakingly assembled. Kate had shared the details of what she might encounter on the island with Harry. He had spent much of his adult life supplying soldiers for combat situations, and he knew the best and most efficient means for gearing infantry. She had confidence that if Jack needed something, anything, Harry would have made provision for it. She hoisted her back pack onto her shoulder and on her other shoulder she hitched her corpsman bag. Kate stepped away from the plane, tilted her head and peered into the jungle shining in the moonlight.

She began to pace the edge of the jungle, facing the beach with an eye out for any signs of human disruption. The leaves and vines were very dense. The beginning of a trek required careful attention to detail and great patience. Her father had taught her well, Kate went into a state of suspended concentration. Her mind became hyper-vigilant for visual clues. She looked for anything broken or bent and for any signs of compression or wear in the masses of foliage. .Her eyes combed the ground for footfalls or disturbed sand or soil. She looked for anything out of the ordinary. After two hours of searching the face of the jungle, she found it. Obscured by massive palm fronds, there were two torn saplings, not broken from weather damage. They were separated as if someone had moved them gently aside like a curtain to peer out of. Sure enough as Kate approached, behind the broken trees was a cleared path, almost imperceptible but used more than once. Someone had definitely approached the beach from the jungle here. Kate felt like a blind man in a room finding one lucky nickel, the odds were long but not impossible. Kate pushed the saplings aside and made her way into the interior.

Bernard watched Rose with Jack as he tended to their broken nets. He retied the knots with care, these nets meant the difference between hunger and satiation and they were given the respect their office required. His fingers were older and clumsier than they had been a few years ago but hours of practice made up for his arthritis.

Rose and he had established such a rhythm in their days. They had found true contentment on the island even in their solitary condition. They were able to just "be" together, it was a new peace that they had achieved, one that the island had taught them. This long waiting for the inevitable with Jack was very hard. It was hard to see someone so much younger than themselves so ill and suffering so much. Rose stayed with Jack every moment; her watch was a vigil of love. He was like a son to her in some ways. Rose was reading to Jack from a book chosen from their meager library, they still had a few salvaged from the plane all those years ago, an eternity ago it seemed now.

"_Ah yes, How did I know how to set breakfast for two? That was why I showed you the looking glass. Now ordinary people are born Forward in time_." Rose paused in her reading and looked down at Jack, she sighed and noted that he had not changed position. He had been sleeping and very still for the last two hours now. She spoke again quietly, murmering to him even though she knew he did not hear her. "I love this part where Merlyn meets Wart, to think, if someone had not brought this book on the plane, if someone hadn't been a fan of T.H. White, I would never have met Merlyn or Wart or the Questing Beast. Bernard and I would have lost hours of laughter and some moments of tears if some person hadn't thought to bring this." Rose patted the much dog eared covers of _The Once and Future King_ that she held in her hand. I don't think I ever really appreciated books until we came to this island and now they are like dear friends to me. Just wait till you get to meet King Pellinore. Rose sighed, she remembered Jack's vigil with her right after the crash. At that time, she might as well have been asleep, she had been frozen then, frozen from shock. Jack had sat beside her and had made it known to her that he would wait her out. He would sit with her for as long as she would need him to. Rose never forgot that act of kindness and she believed that kindness deserved to be reciprocated. She would stay with Jack as long as need be.

Kate followed the tracks, they revealed a heavy footedness, the person using this trail was not trying to hide their steps. Small clues to the treadbearer's identity were left behind, small bits of rope and the occasional pit to a discarded fruit. Kate kept her eyes tracing the ground and at a shoulder level. Things were beginning to be familiar to her. She remembered being near here not too long ago, with Juliet and Sawyer. This was near Bernard and Rose's small shelter.

Kate pushed through to the small clearing. She froze, her legs gave out beneath her and her body crumbled to the ground.

There before her were the flames of a fire casting a golden glow into the jungle night. Behind the fire's flames sat Rose with her nose bent over a book. Next to Rose lay a recumbent figure, the figure of the man toward whom all of the fierce urgency of Kate's heart pressed. Beside Rose lay Jack.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thank you everyone for your kind reviews. They have meant so much to me. Your wish is my command and Jack is finally getting the help he needs. By the way, this is **__**not**__** the final chapter. It's a rainy day here, a perfect day for a good cup of coffee and a story. Enjoy.**_

Kate felt all ability to function leave her and she remained rooted to the ground. Every thought and every determined effort of will had been focused for days upon reaching this goal and now there it was before her and she was helpless to move, frozen. Kate gave herself a moment to weep. She cried quietly and quickly, great heaving, silent sobs of gratitude.

Kate rose slowly and made her way with faltering steps toward the fire. She had been so sure until now; every step had been so clearly delineated. Kate had not allowed herself to think beyond the quest. The fulfillment of her task left her shaken and unsure. She approached Rose and Jack silently, afraid to disturb the tableau before her. Rose had clearly fallen asleep over her book and Jack was sleeping peacefully, lying on his back with his arms akimbo, and his skin was white with a pallor that Kate had never seen before.

Kate sank to her knees and reached out her hand, she gently touched Jack's cheek. His skin was drawn tight to his bones and it felt so cold to her touch. Kate bowed her head and placed her cheek with the greatest delicacy upon Jack's arm. She had found him. Her heart swelled in gratitude and she finally allowed herself to rest, to close her eyes and wait for the dawn.

"Rose…" Bernard called his wife, "Rose? I brought some tea, maybe we can give Jack…."Bernard dropped the tea as he looked upon the sight before him.

He gasped and nearly shouted, "Kate… Kate?"

Bernard's voice reached such a high pitch that he woke Rose and Kate with a start. Rose turned slowly toward Kate, her eyes went very wide and she took in a deep breath. Kate was not quite sure but Rose seemed to recite something under her breath. Rose whispered, her voice shaking, "Kate, what on earth are you doing here?"

Kate looked at Rose and Bernard and understood their incredulity, she had arrived from the other side of the world as suddenly as an apparition, unexpected and unexplained. She did not think that she would be able to justify her presence adequately. Kate sighed, this was not a novel experience for her, she was quite used to being misunderstood and not particularly wanted. She did what she always did in these kinds of situations, she did not explain herself at all, she ignored Rose's question entirely and instead asked one herself.

"How is he?" Kate looked down at Jack, with the dawn his breathing had become shallower, and he was beginning to toss fitfully in his sleep. Kate drew her body up and reached for her packs. She looked toward Bernard, his eyes were on her corpsman bag.

"Is that a Corpsman Assault Bag?" Bernard gestured toward the bag, I was a corpsman, at the time we had MOLLE bags, I heard these are better. May I?" Kate handed Bernard the bag silently. He opened it and took in a deep breath and let out a long and low whistle.

"Kate, I do not know what fair wind brought you here but this.." Bernard patted the bag and looked up at Kate with real gratitude. "This, Kate, might just save Jack's life. Get me some water boiling Rose, please. And Kate, get in the cabin please and retrieve two clean blankets and as many clean towels as you can find. Things are a jumble, we've been busy. Kate and Rose stared at the transformation in Bernard. The sight of what was in Kate's bag had reinvigorated him, now there was hope. "What are you women waiting for! Move!"

Rose and Kate moved. Within fifteen minutes Bernard had a mobile infirmary arranged for Jack. He had a mobile IV penicillin drip hanging from a makeshift frame and he had Jack's wounds drained and dressed with large sterile gauze pads. Through the entire process Jack had remained asleep, completely oblivious to Kate's arrival. Kate was assisting Bernard, thankful for his corpsman training and deeply grateful for Harry and his expertise in requisitions.

"I was in the Seabees, Kate, I don't even want to know where you got a fully equipped CAB, but Kate, this might have done it. He might just make it, he's not out of the woods yet, but this is the first time there has even been a glimmer of hope."

Kate looked down at Jack with tears streaming down her face. The wound in his side was so terrible, the pain he must be suffering, that he had suffered must have been so excruciating. Kate stretched her hand out and gently stroked Jack's fingers with her own.

Rose looked on and regarded the tenderness of the gesture. She had prayed for and hoped for a miracle and this was it. Kate had come.

"Kate, here." Rose pointed to a nearby platter with some fruit on it and a gourd of water. "You should eat something, God knows how long it has been for you and we only have the time, energy and space for one collapsed person at a time." Kate looked at Rose gratefully and retreated to the refreshment.

Several hours later the three of them were still keeping their vigil with Jack. He was still asleep but his breathing was again deeper and more regular.

"Bernard, Rose you two ought to go into your cabin and get some real rest. The two of you have been with Jack alone and I can give you guys a chance to sleep, please."

"I guess we should Rose, even if it's just for an hour or so. Things seem to be calm right now."

"Honey, will you call me if anything changes?" Rose looked to Kate for reassurance

Kate looked up and nodded solemnly. She yearned to be alone with Jack, but she felt that her request was selfish and she did not want to press it. When they had retreated to their cabin, Kate sank beside Jack and took his hand between her own. She placed her mouth over their hands and placed a kiss in his cradled palm.

"Jack" She whispered his name reverently, letting her tongue trace the sounds carefully. It took less time than a breath's exhale to say, but the world that one word held was full and wide. She would never leave his side again, she made a vow to herself. Even if he did not want her anymore she would stay near by. She would never allow herself to be absent from the part of the world that he was in. Without Jack she had been floating adrift in the world and when she came near to him Kate was suddenly ashore, washed upon the edge of a great continent. Whatever had been missing in her when he was gone was restored instantly with his presence. A word need not have passed between them, she could see him, he was breathing, he "was". For this moment, that was enough.

She looked up at his beautiful face and to her astonishment she met his open eyes.

"Kate?" Jack mouthed her name and no sound came out. The look upon his face was one of mingled astonishment and horror. He pulled his hand from hers and shut his eyes again in an attempt to shake himself awake from this night mare.

Kate could not be here, she could not be on the island. This is a continuation of the dreams, her face near him was an illusion, she is safe, safe at home.. Jack reopened his eyes.

No.

It could not be. Jack closed his eyes again and turned his face away from Kate. He swallowed hard and tried again. He opened his eyes and faced her with trepidation.

It was true. There she was. His greatest fear. She was back. She was on the island, she had not gotten home like he had thought.

"Jack." Kate whispered his name again, hoping to help him with what was troubling him. She placed her hand gently on his cheek attempting to calm him down.

Jack shook her off with as much energy as his weakened frame could muster. This was too much, he could not fathom this new thing. He turned his face away one final time and stubbornly ignored her gentle call.

Rose and Bernard finally came out of their cabin and saw Kate, desolate by Jack's side. Jack lay wide awake beside her with his face determinedly facing away from her toward the dense curtain of the jungle on his opposite side.

As they drew near, Kate stood up, whispered something to Rose and retreated to the jungle behind the cabin.

The day passed and the night was nearly gone. Kate was still in a small clearing behind the cabin as her second dawn on the island was beginning to break. She had not moved in the night, her body was still and her mind was suspended between two conflicting sets of emotions.

Jack was alive, Bernard had saved him. That muscular thought carried Kate and sent solid waves of comfort to her broken heart.

He didn't want her.

This had happened when she had come for him before. There had been good solid reasons for it then, she had not known that he knew of them though. His rejection of her when she made her rescue attempt for him from the others had had a good foundation to it and she had known it. It had hurt, but the pain had been justified. It stung like a knife, but not like this. This hurt Kate's deepest core. Kate was at the end, she sat in the small clearing and stared at the jungle all around her. Her body was spent, used up completely and her weariness pressed upon her with the weight of a heavy stone. Her heart though, the weight upon it felt like it was greater than that of the island all together. She was beyond the ability to cry, she was finished. In all of her life, as ill spent and broken as it was she had never given up. This was a first. In the small clearing that morning Kate Austen sat upon a rock, put her head in her hands and stopped. Kate gave up.

Rose and Bernard sat with Jack and watched as his body began to gain strength from the miraculous medicine that Kate had crossed the world to bring to him. His mind began to be lifted from the dense fog that had held it in its grip. He looked at Bernard and Rose with clear recognition and attempted to pull himself into a sitting position.

"Bernard?" Jack looked at the navy issue medical gear and fingered the IV tubing. He lifted his t-shirt and inspected his sterile bandages. "What is this? Have you opened a MASH unit?" Jack winced at his sudden movement and lay down again.

"Jack you rest." Rose handed Jack a drink of tea that she had brewed for him over the fire. You've been with us a good many days and I cannot tell you how glad I am to see you awake."

"Rose?" Jack looked up at her and took the tea she offered. "How did I get here? Where in god's name did you get this stuff?"

"Well, it's quite a story and we have time. So let me check your wounds and then Rose can tell you anything and everything you need to know and I am sure many things that you won't think you'll need. But…you probably do."

"Bernard" Rose looked at him with confusion and affection written on her face. 'Jack is confused enough, honey. I don't think that you are helping things at all."

Bernard finished checking Jack's wounds, they were getting better already. The drip will have been in him 24 hours soon and he would be able to walk around as soon as his wound would allow him too. He really had cleared a corner, Jack was going to make it. This wound would not kill him, not this time. "I will leave Rose to clarify things for you Jack. I am going to go find Kate."

"Bernard, she told me where she is. She is in the clearing behind the cabin. Go to her. Tell her that Jack is…"

"What!" Jack's back went straight up and he accidently pulled hard on the IV cord, nearly pulling the needle out of his body. "Kate's here. I did see her. Oh God." Jack looked at Rose and Bernard and shook his head as if to clear it of offending gnats. He wiped at his forehead and pressed in upon his temples with his fingers. Then he peered up at Rose. "Maybe you'd better start at the beginning."

Rose sat herself next to Jack and got herself comfortable. This was going to take a while. Bernard looked back at them and made his way to the clearing to talk to Kate.

Rose had been talking for a while and Jack placed his hand on her arm and interrupted her story. "Rose, I will never be able to adequately thank you and Bernard for what you have done. I am so grateful for everything. You saved my life."

"Jack, Bernard and I aren't the ones that saved your life. Kate did that. That's why she's here"

Jack looked at Rose and his face changed. A curtain came down over his expression, and his mouth closed into a grim solid line. He shook his head. "I did not want that, I don't want that. That is the one thing that I did not want."

Rose was confused."Jack, what are you talking about? Do you not want to live? Or, is it that you don't want Kate here? Kate has said very little. You know, she never says much."

Jack chuckled in spite of himself at that, nodding his head in agreement."She certainly isn't one for clarifying things."

Rose straightened her back and looked at Jack firmly. "Kate brought these things you've got surrounding you. She brought Bernard the supplies he needed to fix you. I don't know where she got them, I don't know where she came from. But she got here just in time. Because Jack if she had not come when she did, you would be a dead man. So you can thank Bernard and I for staying with you. But saving your life? That's all on Kate."

Jack looked down at his hands, he felt admonished. He felt as if he were eight, only Rose could do this to him. "Rose, she was safe, she was off this island. I saw the plane, when I saw that plane. Rose, I cannot tell you the feeling it gave me. I felt like I could breath again, even though ironically I couldn't, for the first time in months. I brought her back here and she almost died, not just once but many, many times. This place is, it always has been dangerous and she was safe. Rose, now she's back. Hell, I don't know how she got here. But I don't want her here, it's the last place I want her. Maybe she did save my life, but I can tell you right now…" Jack put his hand out and grasped Rose's arm for emphasis. "it's not worth it."

Rose reared back. She would have slapped Jack if he wasn't so sick. Men could be so infuriating. She felt rage tickle the back of her throat and she swallowed it down, she would save that for later. Right now she had something to say.

"Don't you ever say that again, Jack Shephard. That is not your place to say. The value of your life is weighed by others not yourself. To Kate it was worth it. Do you even know her at all? Have you missed the most fundamental thing about that girl after having known her these last three and half years? I admit it, Kate is an opaque person, she is not a clear glass of water like some I know. She has so many hidden corners I could probably spend twenty years with her and know less about her than I would know of Bernard after twenty minutes. But there is one solid thing I do know about her. Something I have known about her from the moment I met her." Rose wiped at her cheeks. Tears of anger, relief and frustration had spurt out of her eyes in spite of herself. "The one clear thing about Kate, Jack, is that she loves you. She always has. It is as clear to me as the sun in the sky."

Jack let Rose's words wash over him. He let the large fact of Kate's love in and it began to break apart the anger and fear that he felt at the knowledge of her return.

Rose watched the change in Jack, she saw his muscles relax as he willed himself to calm down.

"Jack, you two are so different. You over think everything. Everything you do has a reason, a well thought out plan and you follow your plan carefully from its inception to its conclusion. You approach problems as a logical sequence of steps. Now Kate, she's different. She has never been able to ignore a problem. She doesn't approach one and cipher it like a puzzle. Kate, she rides a problem like a wild horse. There's something about her that needs to start right away. She will never be able to step back and distance herself before she jumps in. I guess it is her greatest weakness. But, Jack, it's her greatest strength as well. When we were on the island together in those early days, I was watching you two. I don't think you really knew what Kate did in those early days. You were too busy. You had to keep everyone together and safe and without you no one would have survived. That's a fact. But Jack, Kate was just as fundamental to everyone's survival because she "did". She just did, I never saw another with as much of a knack for doing. She was up with the dawn each day and she was out getting fruit. Piles of the stuff, do you know how much fruit it takes to feed forty- some people? I'm sure Kate knows, down to the last guava. She knew and she took on that task silently and all on her own. Nope, not one of us would have survived if it hadn't been for Kate. And you know what Jack? I never thanked her, no one ever did. I don't even think people knew she got that fruit, she just let it pile up and she quietly distributed it. To most of the people, I guess they just thought that beach rained fruit. But I didn't, I've got eyes and I know how to use them. That girl has never been used to getting credit, and damnit Jack. Today I am not going to let you do this to her again."

Rose stood up, she looked like Hera in her indignation. She placed her hands on her hips. "Kate has spent a lifetime doing for others, I know it and she never gets thanked. You, Jack Shephard are going to thank that girl for your life whether you want to or not, whether you're grateful for it or not. If you don't, I'm going to make sure you aren't grateful for it anymore because I will be determined to make it miserable." Rose turned and walked away from Jack. She was shaking, she had never yelled at a sick man before.

In the clearing behind the cabin, Bernard watched Kate as she sat stock still upon a rock. She was watching the jungle as if it would reveal some secret to her. He circled around carefully, not wanting to surprise her in his approach. He stepped close to her, close enough to touch her shoulder.

"Kate?" Kate looked up at him and Bernard was taken aback by the look in her eyes. There was a new vacancy there. He did not think that he had ever seen what a broken spirit looked like, but now he had.

Kate had never been approachable to Bernard, she had always seemed on the edge of things to him. Bernard loved the bonhomie of a campfire chat session but Kate had always distanced herself from those encounters, she listened but didn't generally participate. But Bernard's heart reached out to her today. This girl had been lifted in the air and dropped and now she was broken into thousands of little pieces. Bernard brought Kate into his own old and comfortable arms and hugged her as if she were his own little girl.

"Do you need anything, Kate?" Kate lifted her face from Bernard's comforting shoulder and wiped at the tears beginning to sprout at the corners of her eyes.

She shook her head, "How is he Bernard, is he going to make it. Is there anything that I can get? I see that there are some mango trees to the left there, if I approach it just right I should be able to reach a good bit before noon. Jack might need…"

"Kate." Bernard put his hands on her shoulders and bent down to peer in her eyes. "He is going to make it. We did it, you did it. He is awake and I'm taking the IV out in a few minutes. You can get some fruit if you want to, but if I were you I would see Jack."

Kate looked back at Bernard. That was the one thing, the only thing that she couldn't do. "You go finish fixing him, Bernard. Thank you for what you have done Bernard. Thank you for coming back here and letting me know. I will get some fruit and I will set up camp here behind you guys, if that's okay." Kate stood up and patted Bernard on the shoulder and kissed his cheek. She walked into the jungle with an empty pack in her hand.

An hour later, Bernard had taken the IV out of Jack's arm. "Jack, if you want to you can try to stand up. It would be good for you to try."

Jack pushed himself into a sitting position. "I want to Bernard, Can you help me to walk a few feet into that clearing behind the cabin?"

"Whoa, Jack, I said stand, not take a walk. It's a little early for that."

"Bernard, if we support him on either side maybe we can all swing it." Rose glared at Bernard and walked to Jack's side, putting his long arm over her shoulder. Bernard had no choice but to obey. Rose and Bernard brought a shuffling Jack between them to the clearing.

Jack saw her then, sitting on the large solitary stone in the center of the clearing. She had a full bag of fruit on the ground next to her, dropped haphazardly to her side. She was staring at him, bracing herself for his fury. She was so vulnerable at that moment, he saw the pain of it etched on her face as if she had lost the capacity to hide. Kate, without the capacity to hide. Jack swallowed a large lump in his throat. This Kate who looked at him broke his heart, he had never seen her like this before, even after Aaron. This was new.

Jack shook off Bernard and Rose's support and he made the final steps of his approach on his own. He stood facing her and met her diminished eyes. He bent to his knees and lay his forearms along her thighs and grasped her waist. He lay his head upon her lap and pulled her body as close to his as his prone position allowed. He closed his eyes and murmered, "Kate, thank you" Then, Jack let the tears come.

.


	10. Chapter 10

_**This chapter is dedicated to Yas, Forever Erica and the long gone Mystic. Your love for and insight into the characters of Jack and Kate continually humbles me and brings me many, many hours of rich reading enjoyment. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**_

Kate felt the weight of Jack's head in her lap and she heard his softly whispered words. She bent her body closer to him and held him in her arms, laying her cheek along the curve of his broad back. They lay silently together for a long moment.

"No, Jack don't." She tried to stop his tears and Kate gently urged Jack to look at her as she encouraged him to push his body upright but still resting upon the ground. Kate slid down to her knees and faced him, placing her fingers upon his cheeks. Her thumbs traced his cheekbones wiping at the tears collected there. "I understand, Jack, please know that I do." Kate leaned her body away from Jack and looked him deeply in the eyes, "But, Jack" Kate whispered his name. "I had to come back, I'm so, so sorry, but I will always come back for you."

"Kate." Jack shook his head at her, he closed his eyes and again faced the solid reality of her presence here on the island. He looked at the ground.

"Jack." Kate tipped her head down, and tucked her chin into her chest. "its just that," Kate's voice broke, "there is no place in the world for me, not one, except for where you are."

Kate swallowed hard and looked into the distance giving an almost imperceptible nod, as if making a decision. She then lifted her chin to look bravely into Jack's eyes, "Jack, please don't send me away."

At those words, something broke inside of Jack. In one moment with her words, a torrent of feeling rushed through him breaking down the carefully constructed levy that he had built over his heart. He had built it to protect himself from false hopes, from even imagining a future where he had what his mind and heart so ardently desired. He had built it to protect himself from any thoughts of the person resting on her knees in the dirt before him, Kate.

Jack looked up at her, she had sweat pouring off of her forehead and it joined her tears in streaks running down her cheeks. Her hair was pulled behind her head in a tangled mass, there was even a leaf or two stuck in its curls. Her hands were grubby from gathering fruit, the fingers scratched and her nails short and torn. Her clothes looked like they hadn't been changed for days, she wore a simple sleeveless t-shirt of the most indiscriminate gray color imaginable and her pants would have stood alone even if she weren't wearing them, they were so dirty. Jack could see every detail and he had never in his life ever seen anything as beautiful as her, his Kate

For one moment his weariness left him and he took her face in his hands. He leaned in slowly and he tenderly placed a kiss on her temples, on her eyelids, on each cheek, finally coming to rest on the softness of her waiting mouth. Kate responded with a kiss as light as a feather, a promise of so much more.

"Kate, I won't. As much as I want you away from this place, and God, Kate, I want you away from this place." Jack took Kate's chin in his hand and made her meet his eyes. "I will not send you away." Jack cocked his head. "So you think I don't want you?" Jack gave a rueful smile and shook his head. "There is nothing, nothing in this world further from the truth than that." Jack wiped his hand over the back of his neck and looked down at the ground as if to get his bearings. He looked up and peeked at Kate from his lowered brow. "Kate, I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. Except for one thing. And that one thing is that I want you to be safe. It isn't safe here. It never has been. I won't send you away, Kate, but I will get you out of here somehow and if I have to go with you to get you gone from here, I will."

Jack rested his forehead upon Kate's and she could feel the slump of his body increase as his weariness returned. Kate put her arms around Jack's waist and let his head fall to her shoulder. She motioned to Rose and Bernard who stood at the edge of the clearing. "Let's get you back Jack. You need to lie down."

Jack nodded, he was suddenly unable to utter a word, he was so tired that Rose and Bernard's cabin seemed a world away. He let himself be drawn to his feet and led back to his pallet by the side of the fire.

Several hours later after a deep and satisfying sleep, Jack woke up and looked around. Bernard, Rose and Kate were sitting in the firelight quietly eating their evening meal of fish and fruit.

"Kate, I hadn't seen those mango trees, it's good to have something besides old coconuts. We gathered a pile a couple of weeks ago, after the quake- we got quite a windfall. They have been our staple. We seem to be able to keep ourselves fed on those and fish." Bernard gestured in the direction opposite the cabin. "There is the beach and I found a lagoon not far from here that has some good varieties. Tomorrow, I'll show you the nets."

Rose placed her hand on Bernard's leg. "Bernard, I'm sure that Kate will have better things to do then to look at our old nets."

Bernard looked at Rose in mock indignation, "Rose, those are interesting nets. Kate likes nets, she told me she did."

Kate giggled into her plate, "Rose, I like nets, I really do." Kate looked at Rose with wide eyes, her hand crossing her heart in a solemn vow. She held up her pointer finger and forefinger at shoulder height and gestured with them toward the sky, "Scout's honor."

"I'm sure you do, honey. We all love nets, but we just don't all need to talk about them endlessly and show them to people." Rose leaned over and gave Bernard a kiss on the cheek.

"Really, it's amazing what you guys have done here. You have food, shelter." Kate gestured around the home site. "You have what you need."

"That's right Kate, we have each other. That's what we need, everything else just comes along." Bernard placed his arm over Rose's shoulder and gave her a hug.

Kate looked over at Jack and met his eyes. They looked at each other over the firelight and they took in the sound of Bernard's words. Kate swallowed and looked away first and glanced toward the ground in front of her feet.

"Jack, you're awake." Kate was embarrassed at her inane words. She did not need to tell him that he was awake. He knew he was up, there he was being awake right there in front of her. She felt awkward suddenly, like a school girl. She suddenly wished that the ground would swallow her up right where she stood. She felt herself redden and she shook her head and took her ridiculous self in hand. Kate busied herself with retrieving some water for Jack and handing it to him. "Here." She handed him the water gruffly, turning her face away from his to hide her confusing mixture of emotions.

Jack took the water, her clumsy offer sloshed some liquid onto their hands as they met. She grinned sheepishly and wiped her hand on her shirt. Amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth and he found himself smiling at her flushed appearance. He remembered other times when he had seen her wrestle with her feelings, he could tell she wasn't comfortable. It elated him somehow. He wondered at the evil little corner of his mind that took so much pleasure her flustered state, he loved knowing he could do that to her. He had never seen her that way with anyone else. His smile faded, the knowledge of the strength of her feelings for him was sobering. It reminded him of the cost of it, it reminded him of her journey to the island.

Bernard glanced over at Jack and stood up. "Jack, let's take a look at that wound."

Jack already had his shirt lifted up and he was inspecting his own wound with a doctor's gimlet eye. He was touching the edge of his gauze bandages and admiring Bernard's work.

"So Kate, you brought this stuff?" Jack looked up as Bernard bent over his prone torso, eying his wound for any signs of infection. "Where did you get a hold of all this?"

Bernard and Jack looked at Kate, both equally curious about her procurement.

"Well, I got the CAB from a friend of my Dad's, his name is Harry Wainwright. He gets things, well he can get pretty much anything." Kate smiled at the thought of Harry.

"Well that's for damn sure Kate. I didn't think anyone could get a fully loaded corpseman bag, it's the genuine article. I would love to meet this Harry, he must be an absolute master." Bernard had a huge grin on his face, tickled at her find.

Kate chuckled, "Bernard, I know that he would love to meet you. He is a kind of a master. My dad and I, I don't think we appreciate him like we should. I went to him right before I left for the island and told him what I might find." Kate looked delicately at Jack at this juncture, nodding at his wound. "Harry said that everything for treating battle wounds would be in that bag and that Jack would be better off for my having it."

Jack shook his head and marveled at Kate's efforts in coming to him. He had a feeling that he did not know the half of it.

Kate brought him a plate of cut up mangoes. "Here, Jack, you should see if you can eat anything." She turned to look at Bernard and Rose, "Do you guys think that you can direct me to that lagoon you were talking about? I think I would like to get a little cleaned up before dark."

"It's a little beyond the clearing Kate, maybe a hundred yards, give or take. Take a torch, in case it gets dark." Bernard handed Kate a torch as she hoisted her pack onto her back and headed for the lagoon.

Jack nodded in Kate's direction and turned to Bernard and Rose, "Do you know how she got here? Has she told you anything?" Jack didn't know why he didn't want to ask Kate directly, somehow he did not think she would want to tell him everything about her journey. He guessed that he didn't want her to have to hide something from him, he didn't want for her to feel like she had to.

'No Jack, like I said before. We don't know how Kate got here or where she was before she came. She just came in the night and was here in the morning, like an apparition, a very fortuitous one." Rose laid her hand gently on Jack's shoulder. "Honey, you'll have to ask her all of the whys, where froms and wherefores. We don't really care about that kind of thing anymore. Me and Bernard," Rose chuckled deep in her throat and looked up lovingly at Bernard, "we're retired."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Fridays are a good day for me to write, sorry to inundate you all with these stories, thanks for reading and thank you so much for the kind reviews. If there is anything inaccurate with my timing or if there are glaring inconsistencies, go ahead and let me know. I kind of write in a rush (I try not to be too sloppy though) it's just a lot more fun for me that way. And hey, fun is what this is all about.**_

Kate made her way to the lagoon; she had always loved the twilight in the jungle. The birds were making their last calls, a sound that always settled her mind. It reminded her of what she imagined it might be like for a child of a large family, being settled into bed calling out quiet goodnights to brothers and sisters nestled in for sleep all around you.

This homestead of Rose and Bernard's made her think of what she had always imagined a truly settled home might be like. She had always wanted siblings when she was a little girl. As she grew older she was glad that she didn't have them. She had always tried hard to keep herself safe and to keep her mother safe, it wasn't always successful. She didn't know what she would have done if a brother or sister was in that mix. She would have killed Wayne years before, that was for sure. Seeing how that worked out, she shuddered at the thought of any imaginary siblings.

But what about a family now? Until she had taken Aaron under her wing she had never seen herself as a mother. She was not one of those girls who played with dolls as a child; she hadn't even played "house" much, unless she was defending one with imaginary weapons. She had spent most of her girlhood outdoors and she had been more familiar with mud forts than with mud pies.

Kate looked ahead at the jungle branches; they were beginning to thin out. The lagoon lay before her, it was tiny and clear and quiet. Kate set the torch into the ground and placed her pack beside her and sat down. She rested back onto her hands and took in a deep breath. The beauty of this place settled upon her and she allowed herself to rest a moment.

A family, Kate smiled to herself. Jack had mentioned the idea of having children long ago, when they had become engaged. She knew that he wanted children someday. He hadn't been confident about it though, something held him back. He had a lot of fears and hesitancies about his ability to be a good father. He seemed to harbor no doubts about her ability to be a mother, though. That was rich, Kate shook her head at that. She was hardly mother material. Only at Aaron's great need had she been able to take on that role for herself. She had done it though and surprisingly she had done it pretty well.

Aaron had been a very happy child. Kate had enjoyed her years with him, more than she had ever imagined that she would. They had spent many happy hours together; she smiled at one her favorite memories with the child. On some warm afternoons the two of them would go to a special place, she had sought out and finally found. It was a forest preserve in the foothills that didn't take too long to get to. Kate would pack up a rucksack of small treats and water bottles and she and Aaron would just head out on the little trail. Aaron called himself a hiker boy, he would pump his little legs beside her and feel so proud of his efforts. Kate always walked very slowly beside him to build his confidence. She would show him the newest flowers peeping up at the sides of the trail and they would look for special rocks and sometimes fossils. Kate kept a little western tree guide in the side of her pack and Aaron loved matching the leaf shapes to the pictures and sounding out the names. Once they had seen a deer from the trail, it was running off into the deeper parts of the forest. Kate had stopped Aaron by putting her finger to her lips and her other hand on his little shoulder, gesturing toward the deer. She bent down close to his side and the two of them watched it pass by silently.

Aaron had been stopped still by the deer's beauty, his little eyes were large and round as he turned to her, his voice full of quiet wonder, "Mama, was that real?" Kate had smiled at him then, she knew just what he meant, she knew just how he felt as she looked at the little boy. Some things were almost too beautiful to seem real.

Kate began to undress, she peeled off her dirty pants and shirt. It felt so good to shed herself of those filthy garments. She stepped into the lagoon and took some soap out of her pack. She again whispered some thanks to Harry for including soap in the supplies, it wouldn't last long but she would enjoy it while she could. She immersed herself in the water and reveled in the cleansing feeling. She set aside the soap and decided to go for a quick swim before her wash.

Back at the camp fire Rose began to gather a few small items into a basket. "Bernard, Jack, I will leave you two for a little while. I'm going to go to the lagoon and see if Kate needs anything." Rose walked into the jungle toward the lagoon.

"Girl talk, I would imagine." Bernard stretched his legs toward the fire and gestured toward Rose. It's been a while since Rose has had anyone to talk to besides me and I guess I talk about nets too much for her tastes."

Jack chuckled, "Yeah, well, Bernard, even I have to admit that that could get old after a while." Jack wished it was he and not Rose who was going to the lagoon. He liked Bernard and all but he would really enjoy being with Kate alone on a clear jungle night near an isolated lagoon. He supposed he wasn't up for it anyway, he looked down at his torso and fingered the bandages. It was healing, he could feel himself getting stronger hour by hour.

What would happen next. His mind was beginning to anticipate the next moves that he and Kate could make. He envied Bernard and Rose their contentment. He just couldn't see his way to their position though. He couldn't reconcile himself to staying on this island.

Jack wondered how Kate had gotten here. Had she flown on a commercial air line? Was there a plane full of crash victims somewhere nearby? Jack shuddered at the thought. He dismissed that possibility. Kate could not have walked away from such a scenario. Where did that leave her? Did she sail here? He wouldn't put a trip on a little sail boat around the world past her abilities but Jack shook his head. She couldn't have done it, not enough time had elapsed. A freighter? Had Kate found a position as a sea cook on a freighter? Jack laughed to himself at the absurd picture of Kate bent over a large kettle of something vile deep in the underbelly of an ocean liner. Maybe she had convinced someone that she knew how to run the engines of a large tanker, the kind that carried huge amounts of oil to China. He had no doubt that she could convince anyone that she could do anything. He bet she could fix one of those monstrous engines. Jack was amusing himself, imagining the ridiculous scenarios that Kate could have embroiled herself into get here, to get to him.

Kate seemed to have lots of hidden talents that he had never known about. How on earth had she gotten the equipment to fix him up? Who was Harry anyway? In all the time that they had lived together (Jack smiled at those memories, but fended them off for the time being) he had never heard her mention Harry.

"Jack?" Bernard interrupted his racing thoughts. "Where did you go? You seem to be miles away." Bernard poked the fire with a stick and looked at Jack. He was looking so hard into the fire and was in such deep thought that Bernard was worried that he might make himself ill again.

"I don't know Bernard, sometimes I just get a little confused by Kate." Jack looked at Bernard with a bewildered look on his face.

"Jack, I can't figure out Rose half the time either. I guess we just have to reconcile ourselves to the fact that sometimes even the people we love the most will remain a mystery."

"Bernard, I think to some extent, you're right, but Kate…" Jack shook his head, "Kate's something else, she's more than a mystery, she's a cryptic cipher, a regular enigma."

Rose walked to the edge of the lagoon and waited while Kate finished cleaning up.

Kate looked up at her. "Rose, is Jack all right? Did something happen?"

Rose took pity on Kate; she looked so genuinely frightened for Jack. She quickly reassured the younger woman with a calming gesture. "Kate, he's fine. I just brought some things that I thought might be helpful to you."

Rose looked closely at Kate as she stepped nearer. Something seemed a little different to her from the time she had seen her on the island before with Sawyer and Juliet. Now that she had cleaned up, Rose could see that Kate was somehow softer around the edges and that there was a slight roundness to her middle that had never been evident before.

"Come on closer here, Kate." Rose patted the hardened ground beside her. "Let me help you with your hair. I know what it is like to wrestle with it, I've been doing it all my life and I've got a few tricks up my sleeve."

Kate settled herself next to Rose, she was intrigued.

"I made this with some coconut and a little tallow that Bernard rendered for me. We've got a lot of time to experiment. I thought that maybe this could help you with some tangles, you've got a lot of hair there." Rose chuckled at the long masses of wet curls that framed Kate's face. "Let's see if we can get those under control."

Kate couldn't ever remember another woman offering to help her with her hair. She felt like a little girl, like the little girl she never got to be. Her mom had been a little too busy to fuss about such things. Kate had always fended for herself, ever since she could remember. She put her back to Rose and allowed the older woman access to her locks.

Rose began to comb through her hair and as she did so she put the coconut mixture on it. Kate thought it smelled wonderful. She closed her eyes and let the deep comfort of Rose's soft ministrations overwhelm her

Rose thought it best to cut to the chase with Kate so she just let it out. "So Kate, how far along are you?"

Kate jerked forward and whipped her body around and faced Rose. "What?"

"You heard me honey, how far along are you? I can tell even though it's probably something you might choose to ignore, but Kate you won't be able to ignore it much longer. And neither will anyone else."

Kate bent her head down. She had chosen not to think about this complication, she didn't really believe in it. She thought that it wasn't true until now, until just this minute. She had a ridiculous capacity for lying to herself. She was able to block out the harshest of truths and pretend that they weren't there. She was deeply ashamed of herself. This was real, she knew it now. Her body was changing in spite of the fact that she had hoped that it wasn't. She had willed herself to believe that she was just tired from the shock of the past few weeks. She had tried to convince herself that she wasn't hungry because of all the changes involved in getting back to the mainland. She didn't look at her own body if she could help it, the almost imperceptible swelling in her tummy was not that hard to ignore, she had been busy, she didn't need to think about it.

Kate looked up at Rose. She felt Rose's hands as they softly combed through her hair, she felt the kindness of Rose's gestures along with the firmness of her words. The combination helped her and she was finally able to face the truth.

"I am about two months along, I guess. I've missed a cycle but I thought.." Kate looked to the side and pursed her mouth into a bitter smile' "I thought that it was just stress. I don't really expect you to believe this, I know it will strain your credulity but, Rose, until this moment I didn't really know at all. But you know what? This is terrible." Kate shook her head, this is where her shame really lay. Kate frowned. "I'm glad I didn't know, because if I had, I would not have come."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Gentle readers, I love how that sounds by the way, it is so old fashioned, it is as if this were an literary installment written in the Victorian era, well ahem, I digress. My last chapter certainly created a lot of confusion and it was entirely due to my limitations as a writer. I hate to have to beg your sufferance because of that but in this case I will. Please forgive my novice efforts. This latest installment (heh) should clear everything up. **_

Rose looked up at Kate with a shocked expression on her face. "What do you mean, if you had known, you wouldn't have come?

Kate's head was hanging down, she was feeling the deep comfort of Rose's comb sliding through her now smooth and shining hair, and it was loosening her normally taciturn tongue. "Rose, if I had really faced this rather large fact" Kate gestured toward her abdomen, "I guess not so large yet," Kate smiled, "I couldn't have ever come. What I did to get here was very dangerous; it was a completely foolish risk to take. I was very careful Rose, to come alone. I have to say, for a while there I really did not think that I would make it. That was my choice to make, it was my life on the line, no one else's. I can live with that. But the risk wasn't mine to take for this child, I'm so dumb and blind and stubborn. I couldn't see beyond the one thought of getting here."

Rose placed her comforting hand on Kate's shoulder. "Well Kate, if you ask me, it is a darn good thing that you didn't know." Rose shifted her weight to face Kate and she tipped the younger woman's chin up with her forefinger and faced her squarely, narrowing her eyes. "Are you not happy for this? I am sorry to be intrusive, but is it not Jack's child? Is that why you are so upset?"

Kate looked up at Rose with tears in her eyes, she shook her head impatiently, when would she ever be done with crying. "Oh Rose, it is Jack's." Kate gave the barest trace of a smile at her memories. "Rose, I have never wanted anything more in my life than to have Jack's child. It's just that I feel so stupid and wrong that here this baby is", Kate tenderly placed her hands upon her stomach, "and I almost killed it by coming here."

Rose began to put away her comb and the homemade tonic and she shook her finger at Kate, chiding her gently but firmly. "You can be pretty unrealistic, do you know that? It seems to me that you always let yourself be the first person that you throw under the train. Step back now, honey. Just look at this as if you weren't the center of this particular story." Rose shook her head and muttered as if to herself, "So much is wrong with this world because of an extraordinary lack of imagination! Now, Kate I want you to imagine for one minute that you were someone else. Would you blame them so much? Would you call them stupid? Or, would you see them for what they were; desperate to save the person that they love. Use your common sense, honey." Rose put her hands on Kate's shoulders. "_You didn't know_. Kate, you did not know. It is _best_ that you didn't know. You came, you saved Jack's life." Rose took her hands off of Kate's shoulders and placed her right hand very gently over Kate's hands on her stomach. "Now you're here and Jack's here and this child is here." Rose stopped for a moment and nodded her head emphatically. "This child, who I am very excited to meet some day, is here. This, Kate, is a time for rejoicing, not recriminations." Rose smiled down at Kate and gathered her up in a very brisk hug. Kate smiled and returned it with her whole heart.

Jack looked up from his seat by the fire and watched Rose and Kate's approach from the jungle. Dusk was still settling and Jack saw the light of Kate's torch reflecting upon her hair and skin, creating a warm glow that seemed to come from within her. Jack did a double take, Kate seemed to grow more beautiful every time he saw her. The first time he met her in that clearing so long ago, dazed and confused and rubbing her wrists, even in his condition at the time, the first thing he noticed about her was how pretty she was. Jack wondered to himself, did he just see her differently now or was she really so much more than she had been? The Kate that he saw before him tonight across Rose and Bernard's carefully tended fire was almost ethereal in her beauty.

Jack was well enough to be sitting up and he shifted his body to the side, making room upon the log where he sat. He waved his hand toward Kate inviting her to sit. As she settled herself, Jack turned toward Kate and tucked a stray lock of her hair tenderly behind her ear and then let his fingers trace a sensuous line down the curve of her neck. The intimacy of the gesture intensified the heat of the fire for Kate and she looked up and into Jack's darkened eyes.

"You smell nice, Kate." Jack took in a deep breath and ducked his head toward Kate and whispered quietly in her ear, "I've missed you."

Kate felt the warm breath behind Jack's whispered words and it was all she could do to suppress a moan from escaping her throat. She tilted her head towards Jack and leaned into him, she placed her hand over his lingering fingers and gently guided them towards her mouth, barely brushing her lips over them before releasing them from her grasp. She whispered back, "I've missed you too." She looked toward Bernard and Rose and gave her head an imperceptible shake. Jack smiled warmly in response and nodded once in a subtle motion, a secret gesture just for Kate, full of promise.

"Well, I think that it's time for a story before we all turn in." Jack placed his hands on his knees and leaned forward, and looked at Rose and Bernard across the fire and then let his eyes settle back upon Kate.

"What'll it be Jack, Little Red Riding Hood or The Three Little Pigs or maybe that one about Abu Hassam?" Bernard spoke up.

"You always tell that one, Bernard, not again!" Rose couldn't resist teasing her husband; it was one of the abiding temptations of her life.

Bernard looked at Rose and huffed in protest. "Abu Hassam and his Famous, oh well you know it anyway, it's one of the best stories known to man."

"Rose, I was more thinking about a little story about a young woman and a journey, a journey to an island." Jack let his words trail off and he turned pointedly toward Kate.

Kate began to feel everyone's eyes turn in her direction.

She swallowed hard, "That sounds like a good story, Jack, but I think that you would all prefer to hear the one about the Three Billy Goats Gruff, you know the one with the bridge and the Ogre? Listen, we can even act it out, we have just the right amount of people. Jack you be papa, Rose can be mama and Bernard can be Billy, I will take the hit this time and be the ogre." Kate laughed and tried to deflect Jack's curiosity for just a little longer.

"Kate you can hardly be the ogre, you're not old enough or large enough, it'll have to be me." Bernard played along, his soft heart reached out to her, he could tell that she was getting uncomfortable.

"I'm a good actress, Bernard, and it's quite dark." Kate laughed weakly and tried to continue the joke. She turned and looked at Jack's very serious face and realized that it was not going to work. He was not amused, not at all.

"Kate." Kate could hear that familiar rumble in his voice and she knew that he had decided that he must hear her story. His horns were out and he would stubbornly resist all of her attempts to deny him.

"Jack, it's a pretty long story and you're tired." Let's just turn in." Kate made one last desperate effort to avoid his question.

"Kate." Jack's voice carried within it just the hint of a plea, he knew that he could not make her tell him her story but with that one word he could convey to her that he simply needed to know.

Kate looked up at Jack and realized in that moment that she couldn't keep secrets from him any longer, they had to be done with that, they had to move beyond it.

"All right, Jack." Kate leaned back and looked at him, Rose and Bernard , they were all leaning in, intent on hearing every word. She put her weight on the heels of her hands and stretched her body before her, bracing herself for the reactions that she knew her tale would generate. She straightened her back and plunged in.

"This story begins about two weeks ago, when I held in my hands this tiny plane." Kate pulled the plane out of her pocket and showed it to her rapt and somewhat surprised audience. It glistened in the firelight.


	13. Chapter 13

_**I have to say thank you to everyone for your very thought provoking and kind reviews. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time not only to read my story but to let me know that you are doing so! I really don't know what kind of fever is coming over me. I seem to be obsessed with writing this story, let me tell you, I am neglecting many responsibilities because of it. Well here it is, I hope you enjoy!**_

Jack's eyes shifted downward and took in the sight of the tiny plane that Kate twirled between her fingers. He pressed his lips together in mild distaste, he had never liked that object. It had a hold over Kate that he didn't understand. Hell, she didn't understand it. It wasn't logical. When they had lived together on the mainland, he had never seen it. He had only really seen it that day that they had retrieved it from the case. Jack shook his head at the memory. He had learned that day that he could rely on Kate to be on a strict "need to know" basis with him. Jack remembered watching her as she was crying after getting the plane; he had been so surprised at her tears. He hadn't thought that she was that type of person, a person who could just sit down and cry her heart out. He wished now that he hadn't been so angry, he wished that he had comforted her.

"Something happened after I held this." Kate waved the talisman, "I don't expect you to believe it, I hardly do." Kate laughed lightly. "I saw Jacob, it sounds ridiculous and crazy, but I did." Kate looked up, Rose, Bernard and Jack were looking back at her, they did not think she was crazy at all. They believed her, of course they believed her. They had experienced the island; they knew that everything connected with it was different. Kate breathed a sigh of relief and went on.

"He just told me to come back. That's all." Kate shrugged, she was tempted to stagger forward and say "the End", like Desmond had done so many years before, she chuckled to herself at the memory, it would be a good time to finish this story. But looking around at the expectant faces facing her she knew that it would not do.

Kate continued bravely on. "Jacob's words gave me hope, hope that I did not have before." Kate looked at Jack with wide eyes, indicating just what her hope was. Jack looked back at her realizing her implication. He looked down into his lap and swallowed hard.

"So I began to make some arrangements." Kate began her story with Sam and Harry. She told about Harry's expertise with outfitting and how he procured the equipment that had been so instrumental in Jack's recovery.

When Jack heard this he shook his head vigorously, he couldn't believe that Kate had this family that he had never met. He knew who Sam was of course, but he assumed that Kate didn't ever see him anymore. What had Kate been doing those years that they were together? Had she been living her life entirely as a fiction? Jack felt a familiar sense of betrayal rise up in his gut. He looked up at her in the firelight. She was such a small person with so much inside her that he couldn't begin to penetrate.

Kate looked over at Jack and she knew from the look on his face that she would have some serious explaining to do. She couldn't completely explain her unwillingness to see Sam and Harry throughout those years that she was on the mainland with Aaron. It was all so contrived. Her role in Aaron's life, while being the happiest time that she had ever known, was fundamentally a lie. A very necessary and good lie, it kept those on the island safe and it kept Aaron safe too. But it was one that Jack was a part of, he was the architect of it for goodness sake. She had never been ashamed of Jack and Aaron, she had not been ashamed of Harry and Sam. She just did not want those two worlds to connect. She did not want Sam and Harry to be part of the lie. It was that simple.

Kate smiled to herself, she would have loved Jack to meet Sam and Harry, she hoped that someday he would. Sam would love Jack, he would be the one person that Sam would think was worthy of his little girl. Not that they would have a lot to say to each other, but Kate could imagine them fishing together. Both men were capable of long silences and Jack had a diligent patience that Sam would understand. They would connect. Harry, Kate almost laughed at the thought, Harry would love Jack, he would want to feed him and tell him stories. Harry would be so happy for Kate that he would almost physically glow.

Bernard smiled and interrupted Kate's thoughts, "Like I said before, I really want to meet this Harry. I wonder if he was a quartermaster in Viet Nam?" Bernard shook his head. "Some of those guys were amazing, I knew one named Milo, he was a magician. He had so many fingers in so many pies, he was like Harry Houdini or something, like a Houdini who could spin plates, juggle and disappear at the same time."

Kate went on with her story, "I made arrangements and after a few days I arrived at Apia, on the Solomon Islands. Frank told me about a guy named Milo, I wonder if he is your Milo, Bernard? A quartermaster's world is pretty small, I wouldn't be surprised. Well, this guy, Milo, definitely had the capacity to juggle and what was it you said, wash dishes? At the same time? Well Milo could do it, maybe with his eyes closed. Now he runs a diving operation at the Blue Hole Nature Reserve. Well, Milo arranged to get me a plane, a little Sky Hawk, but we modified it so it could go a little distance."

"You got a plane?" Jack was incredulous. His thoughts were racing. The little metal plane in her hands he understood. This was the island after all and he had seen far stranger things. Jack thought of the goblet and the stone and everything that had happened in recent months. He shook his head, those things were just strange and mysterious but this stuff Kate was telling him. It was outrageous. This story was getting wilder with every sentence, God no, it was getting wilder with every word.. Apia? Milo? Plane? Modified? What kind of little puddle jumping wash tub had Kate come over the entire half of the globe in? Jack looked at Kate again, what was she capable of? Hell, he'd better never get in trouble again because the next time he was in danger she might just swim across the Pacific. She'd probably had experience with marathon, hypothermic swimming at some time in the past, the kind where you coat your body with vaseline and live on lard and raw fish for three months. How old was she again? How many lifetimes had she lived? Was she totally insane? Jack had been imagining many scenarios but not one involving Kate flying a plane. Not even a real plane, it was a probably a shitty little crop duster for god's sake. She'd gotten it from some strange ex-army guy living in Apia. That's about as shady as you could get. Jack shook his head. Again.

Kate looked over at Jack, she wished fervently that she would not have to tell this story. He seemed almost as if steam might form in his head and start spouting out of his ears. She wished that everything didn't have to be so damned hard for the two of them. Would they never find a way to understand each other?

Kate had her head down, perhaps if she didn't have to look at all of them this would be easier. "I learned to fly when I was younger, Jack. Right after I graduated high school, yes, I did manage that. I am not entirely without convention." Kate straightened her back and shook her head and laughed, Jack chuckled at her comment about conventionality. It was something they had laughed about together in the past, at how conventional his life had been compared to hers. How the paths he took were so accepted, honored and rewarded by society and hers, well to put it in the mildest form possible, they were not.

Kate continued," I spent a summer with my Dad and at the time he was still on base, I met some flyers and they taught me. I always liked having a challenge and like Harry told my Dad at the time, it kept me out of trouble."

"Yeah, I bet that really appeased your Dad, flying hundreds of feet in the sky with young fly boys was supposed to keep you out of trouble? I wonder what kind of trouble it kept you out of, were there human eating aliens nearby?" Jack was now reduced to muttering to himself in a monotone, not that Kate couldn't hear him, she could and it wasn't making this story any easier.

"Well at any rate," Kate chose to ignore Jack's muttered grumblings. "I learned to fly a plane, and quite adequately, I had a lot of time that summer. So I flew here, landed on the beach and I found tracks, probably the path you take to the beach, Rose and Bernard, to get to your ocean nets. See, Bernard, that is one more reason to like nets, they led me here." Kate wrapped up her story as quickly and neatly as possible, hoping to forestall any further questions. She smiled up at Bernard, thinking that the reference to nets would deflate the very intense atmosphere.

Bernard looked up, "Kate didn't you arrive at night? How in heaven's name did you pull that …?" Bernard shut his mouth tight when he looked over and saw Jack's face. Jack was about to erupt. Bernard was not a cowardly man but he wanted nothing to do with what seemed to be happening to Jack's face. He bit off his words and didn't finish his question.

Jack began to fire questions at Kate, he wasn't roaring or even yelling, to Kate it was worse, he was speaking in a cool moderate tone, from a clenched jaw, maintaining strict control of his emotions."Kate, you flew here in a Skyhawk? A little Cessna? How old was it? You landed at night? How many miles did you think that you could go, before you just disappeared over the ocean?"

Jack remembered some of the wild dreams he had had when he was feverish, maybe they weren't so far off. "God Kate, Frank said that this place was impossible to find! Was it a suicide mission? Did you just decide that you didn't care anymore?" Jack thought of Kate in the little plane all alone over the sea that was so vast that her descent would be a mere slip in a wave and she would be gone, gone forever. Jack leaned down and put his hand behind his neck and rubbed the back of his head. He placed his other hand on Kate's leg, as if to reassure himself of her presence. To remind himself that she had indeed arrived on the island in one piece.

Kate looked at Jack, this was exactly what she thought might happen, this was exactly why she preferred to keep things to herself. Why did Jack have to know these things? Why did it matter so much, it was done, it was over, she was here. She couldn't process all of his questions separately and she sat in silence while she figured out her answers. She placed her hand over his as if to reassure him, to remind him of the fact that the danger was past.

"You saw our fire didn't you Kate?" Rose spoke up for the first time, she had a look of wonder on her face, remembering her intense need to start that fire. She hadn't known what pressed her so urgently that night besides Jack's chills, it had been something more. She had needed to get that fire going, roaring, something had compelled her to do so.

Kate nodded, "Yes, Rose." It was the one thing I saw in the darkness. The moon had not risen, it was not full, it was waning and you know how there is that window of darkness at that time of the month before the rising. I really thought that it might not work out." Kate tried to casually brush over her intense terror at that time. The darkness had been so all encompassing out over the ocean and she had known that she had almost no fuel left. "But then, I saw the fire, it must have been a pretty big one, but it was pretty dark and it was the only thing. I had a hope that it was the island, it was clearly indicated on my instruments that the coordinates were correct. I flew in that direction. And then, luckily, the moon began to rise and I landed on the beach."

"Luck had nothing to do with it honey." Rose looked across the fire at Kate, she knew that her prayers had been answered. "Jack." Rose looked at Jack, "I know that this is very hard for you to hear. But please remember that we've all got choices. Every one of us has our own choices to make. We can't do it for each other. We don't have to like them, but we must accept them. Kate chose to come here for you. You must find a way to accept that. If you can be glad about it, all the better, no amount of anger or recrimination will change it, it just is. Already happened Jack, you've got to find a way through this, get to the other side."

Jack looked up at Rose, she was always so clear in her outlook; she had so much common sense. He wished that he could have such equilibrium but Kate just seemed to make his sense vanish. His mind lost all logic when it came to her, it seemed to take on the volatility of a rollercoaster.

"So you came here in the dark, you were led here by a fire? A camp fire, Kate? You really have to understand how this sounds to me. It is not just amazing, it is completely absurd. I'm glad that I did not know what you were doing, I would have done everything in my power that I could, to prevent it. But Rose is right; here you are." Jack pressed his hand harder into Kate's flesh, not enough to hurt, but hard enough for her to look up into his eyes. Jack peered at her, and asked, "So there is a plane, on the beach? How many pieces is it in?" Jack laughed, he really didn't think that it was all that funny but he was starting to feel almost punchy.

"It's on the beach, Jack, not too far. It makes sense that I landed where I did, so close to Bernard and Rose considering that it was their fire that I saw. The plane is all in one piece. I don't just know how to fly a plane Jack, I also know how to land one." Kate had her back ramrod straight, the look on her face was one of injured dignity. Jack could tell that she was defending her honor and that she was proud of the fact that she had landed that plane. He wondered at how damn hard it must have been if it made Kate proud of herself. She didn't usually spend much time congratulating herself on accomplishments; she just did stuff and then moved on.

"Well, I'm damned glad that it is one piece, maybe we can use it to get the hell off of this island. Navigating out of here has to be easier than getting here. At least there is civilization in Samoa and landing strips, let alone lights." Jack was beginning to accept Kate's story, he was beginning to find a way to make his mind not rear up in refusal at the mere thought of it.

"Jack, there is no gasoline in that plane." Kate whispered this, she didn't really want him to know but the fact was not something she would be able to hide. "I came in on fumes."

Jack shook his head at her, he was beyond outrage now, she could have told him that she parachuted in and hung on a branch for three days and it wouldn't have fazed him.

"Well, that was a great story, Kate. Way better than my story of Abu Hassem." Bernard was getting up from his perch across the fire, he patted Rose's shoulder. "We had better turn in for the night, it's getting pretty late."

"Goodnight you two." Rose gave Kate and Jack a look of clear understanding and nodded, "Try to sleep, everything will work out, you will see." Rose and Bernard made their way to their little shelter.

Kate got up to walk away and make herself a pallet in the clearing behind the shelter. She was discouraged by the evening and so tired, weary of words and the misunderstandings they caused.

"Where are you going, Kate?" Jack looked up at Kate and he stopped her by placing his hand upon her arm. "I have to admit that I don't understand why you do what you do, not really. And I also have to say that I wish you hadn't done it. But Kate, I can't honestly say that if the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't have done the same thing. Because, Kate, I don't know if I could have but if you had been here on the island and I were on the mainland, I think I would have tried to do the same thing. I don't know anyone like Milo or Harry and I don't have the familiarity with little tuna can Cessnas that you do, but I think I would have tried. Probably I would have fallen flat on my face, but trying, that's something that I can understand."

"Jack, I know you would have. You would have been a lot more successful, you would probably have figured out a way never to have left, you would have gotten Claire on that plane and you would have come right over to me and worked your medical magic without going all the way across the world to do it. You Jack don't mess up as much as I do, you don't collect disasters at every turn."

"God, Kate, is that what you think? I have plenty of disasters under my belt. I will tell you about them sometime when I am not so tired." Jack tipped his face toward Kate with slightly raised eyebrows, a questioning glance. "Kate, I would sleep a whole lot better with you here, beside me." Jack let his arm slide higher on her arm and he looked at Kate in the firelight with a look of quiet intense, concentration on his face. It was a look Kate was familiar with and one that set her blood rushing.

Kate collected her bag, Harry had sent her with two sleeping bags, each no larger, rolled up than a softball. She unrolled one and placed it on the ground over Jack's collected blankets. She invited Jack to lie down upon it, then she lay beside him and unfurled the other sleeping bag, clean, fresh and light as a feather, it flew like a tiny sail down onto their waiting bodies.

"I haven't done that since Aaron, Jack. We called it the magic blanket. Aaron always said that it felt like the sky was coming down on him to tuck him for the night." Kate turned her face and smiled at Jack, he had his face buried in the fabric, breathing in its fresh, civilized scent.

"I agree with you and Aaron, Kate, it is a little magical." Jack shifted his body so that his uninjured side was beneath him. Facing Kate, he laid his hand upon the curve of her waist and traced a slow pattern upon the softness of her silky skin; his voice was a low rumble, "But, not nearly as magical as you."

Jack leaned forward and pressed his mouth upon Kate's awaiting lips. He lost himself in the overwhelming pleasure of her mouth and skin and scent, and the delicious thrill that she sent down his spine and into the most private parts of his body. This kind of delirious, sensuous pleasure that he always felt with Kate, it was their secret, kept in a chamber locked from the world, known only to the two of them. This woman, this closed puzzle of a person, Kate was fully revealed to him, open as a flower, as they made love, deep into the night before Rose and Bernard's dying fire.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Dear readers, I just wanted to let you know that I posted the last chapter up very shortly after the chapter before it so it was kind of double posted, thus it was fairly easy to miss. If you missed the part where Kate tells the story of her journey that is in chapter 13, right before this one. You may want to pick up the thread there before you read this one.**_

Jack woke up when the sun was already nearly half way through the sky. He sat up and stretched, the island was already working its magic upon his body and he felt better than he had in many days. He reached down and pulled his shirt half way up and inspected his wound, there was no drainage and it was fully closed and healing already, there would be a nasty scar, but that was nothing new.

"You're up. You slept like the dead, feeling better?" Bernard approached Jack with bandages in his hands.

Jack shook his head and looked around, "Where's Kate?" Jack almost felt as if the previous night had been a dream. He wanted to see Kate as if to verify her reality.

Bernard smiled, "Oh, she took off early this morning, into the jungle, had a bag, I imagine she's getting fruit. She doesn't stay in one place for long."

Jack nodded, he agreed with that, it was true unless of course, she decided to stay still. He remembered times when she could be on the beach for hours, standing like a stone, silent until he came along and broke the spell. He always felt compelled to do so, he guessed that was one trait he shared with Sawyer, the desire to disturb her. Kate seemed so statue like, a living mannequin. He fought the urge poke her just to see if she would move. When he approached her, she would often shake her head and laugh, the spell would be broken, whatever memories or thoughts that had her mesmorized, vanquished.

Jack looked up at Rose and Bernard, he had been here for over a week and he had done nothing but get their help and Kate had been here for two days, was it? And she was already on food gathering duty. He needed to pull his own weight. Jack reminded himself that there had been extenuating circumstances.

"Jack." Bernard knelt by Jack's side and placed his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Let me take a look at that wound, it's still there you know." Bernard waited for Jack to pull his shirt up. "This looks great Jack, it's amazing how fast it's healing." Bernard pulled off the old bandages and brought a bowl of water and a cloth.

"Thank you Bernard, I think I can take it from here." Jack leaned over and tended himself, he found healing on the island fascinating; something about this place hastened the mending process. His own body looked like he had had weeks of recovery rather than two days.

"The island is up to its old tricks, isn't it Jack?" Rose made her way over with a cup of tea and some cut up fruit. "Jack, you look quite a bit better today."

Jack looked up at Rose, how is it that she could almost read his mind? "Yeah, I guess it is Rose." Jack gestured toward his torso. "This isn't really normal."

"No it isn't really normal to get stabbed and left in the jungle, Jack. This place is anything but normal." Rose shook her head, she really didn't want to know what had happened to Jack, it wasn't that she didn't care, she just felt that it reflected a fruitless struggle. She supposed it had something to do with the craziness that Kate and Sawyer and Juliet had talked about those many weeks ago. "I don't know what that is any more, It has been so long since I've seen anything approaching normal, except for maybe tea." Rose placed the cup in his hand and put his plate on the fruit on a log nearby. "Eating and drinking is still something we do around here and since everybody has to do it, I guess that's two normal things. That's a start." Rose laughed lightly and looked at Jack. He was better, his color was good. He wouldn't be content to sit around their fire much longer. Rose wondered what was next for him. She didn't see Jack and Kate doing what she and Bernard had become content to do.

"Hey." Kate had slipped out of the nearby jungle and approached the now nearly extinguished fire. She placed a full bag on the ground beside her and rubbed her shoulder absent mindedly and smiled over at Jack and Rose.

"Hey." Jack let out a breath, one that he had barely realized that he had been holding, there she was, it was real. He laughed lightly to himself. His mind was still having a hard time adjusting to her presence.

"You okay, Jack?" Kate nodded toward Jack's torso and smiled faintly in memory of the previous night. She wondered how that particular part of him had weathered their reunion. The rest of his body looked much stronger, quite strong actually. Kate forced her eyes up to concentrate on Jack's face. She blushed slightly at her thoughts, suddenly aware of Rose's presence.

Jack peered over at Kate, "I feel good," Jack stood up and stretched, "really good." He grinned, he loved to see her face flush like that, he became almost gleeful at her disequilibrium. He wondered exactly what she was thinking right now and he wished that they were alone so that he could ask her. He would ask her later and he would request details.

"Kate, what did you find out there this morning? An orchard?" I must be blind in my old age, I've never had a run that good." Bernard was peering into Kate's bag.

"I got pretty high, Bernard, those parts of the trees are very full right now, the sun gets to them up there, there's plenty left even after the birds get to them. It looks like no one is going to starve, for a little while any way." Kate, glad for the distraction, pulled her hair up and off of her neck and wiped her hand over it. She reached for a mango and pulled a knife out of her pocket, and peeled it deftly. She ate neatly, after swallowing the fruit and licking her lips she happened to look over at Jack. He was following her movements just a touch too closely. Kate caught his eyes and allowed herself a tiny, almost wicked grin; two could play at this game.

Kate wiped her hands on her jeans and stood up. "You think you're ready for a little walk, Jack?"

"Believe it or not, Kate, I think I am. How far is that plane?" Jack responded eagerly.

"Not that far, actually," Kate turned to Bernard and Rose, "You two picked a good spot here, it's not far from the beach, but it is far enough in to be protected from the winds, close to fresh water and fruit, pretty perfect. You've even got a clearing out back, you could cultivate something if you wanted." Kate had an increasing admiration for what they had built for themselves on the remote island.

"Thanks Kate, it was actually a careful choice." Rose looked at Bernard and they nodded at one another. They remembered those days they had shared alone when the island was so unstable. They hadn't been able to quite figure out the island's strange journey through different years and sometimes decades. They had not had a lot to compare those shifts in time to, they did the best they could and concentrated on survival. Their first attempts had been somewhat rocky and it took a lot of time and effort for them to build what they had. It had been a baptism by fire and they appreciated the peace and quiet that their present situation brought.

Jack stood at the edge of Bernard's path to the sea, he was anxious to get moving, he had been still for many days and it felt good to get away, even if only for a little while.

"So Kate are you thinking of settling down and moving in with Rose and Bernard?" Jack joked easily with Kate as he settled into an easy pace beside her on the path.

"I don't know Jack, it's not so bad what they have." A part of Kate longed for the simplicity of their lives. "I'm a pretty simple person, it seems homey, it seems to be enough."

"Kate, this place has been my entire focus for years, it has had me coming and going, it's controlled my ability to reason. I know only a tiny portion of what this place is, what it means. It is so far beyond me that I can't begin to explain it. This island is a lot of things, Kate, but it has never been described as homey." Jack put his head back and laughed, for some reason the absurdity of the idea that the island was homey released a lot of tension for him. Jack glanced up at Kate, "Since when have you been a big fan of homey?"

"I don't know Jack, the island isn't entirely what it appears to be." Kate ducked her head and shook it. "I might not be entirely what I appear to be."

"Kate, I have never heard two more accurate statements in my life." Jack shook his head and as his laughter died down he turned to Kate on the path and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Kate, how is it?"

Kate looked up, startled at the change of subject. "What, how is what?"

Jack pushed Kate's shirt off of her shoulder gently and looked closely at it. "Your shoulder, I noticed you favoring it, is it healing? Did you get it looked at when you..?"

"When I got back." Kate finished Jack's sentence, she knew that they would have to talk about these things, now was as good a time as any. "Jack, its fine." Kate pulled away slightly, she hadn't thought much about her shoulder, it bothered her slightly but it was getting better, especially since she had been on the island.

"It looks like a pretty bad scar, Kate, did you have someone look at it when you got to the mainland? It certainly wasn't restitched." Jack brushed his hand over her wound and allowed his hand to drift upward and onto Kate's neck, he traced his fingers along her jaw and turned her face to his own. "Kate, a lot has happened to you since I saw you on the cliff, there is a lot that I haven't asked you yet." Jack searched Kate's eyes, "Can I ask you a few things?" Jack hated to do this to her, he would have preferred to glean information from her slowly, waiting for it to drop like ripe fruit from trees. But for fruit to ripen it needs to be hit by the sun, and the sun didn't shine where Kate kept her thoughts hidden in her heart. His curiosity would have to be appeased by the force of his questions.

Kate nodded slowly. She knew that Jack had within him the need to know. It was a driving force in his character, she wondered how he ever put up with her lack of openness, perhaps her secretive nature was as hard for him to deal with as his inquisitive nature was for her. She smiled at the irony.

"It doesn't have to be so hard, Kate." Jack let himself feel a little sorry for her, just a little though, he needed her to let him in, he had to push her. "How is Claire," Jack didn't want to say the name that would come next, he knew how hard it would be for her to hear. "and Aaron?"

Kate planted her legs far apart as if to balance herself, she felt like she was facing a strong wind. Her habit of compartmentalizing her thoughts had been built over the years, years of wanting to forget things. Kate placed her hands on her hips and looked bravely into Jack's eyes. Claire was his sister after all, he deserved to know everything she could tell him.

"She is getting better every day Jack. I am not going to lie to you and tell you that everything is great, it is not. Claire has a long way to go to heal. We found Carole and Aaron, now they are all in our, I mean, my house." Jack heard the slight slip of the tongue and felt bad, that sorrow was still acute, how he wished that he could go back and change the past. He had tried that, it had been a bust. Jack put his head down and stared at the ground, this would be hard to hear.

Kate went on, "I tried to stay for a few days, it wouldn't work, we all knew it right away, Aaron was so confused, he wanted to have things the way they were." Kate looked at Jack and blinked her eyes, forcing herself not to cry, she urged herself to choose the right words, words that would convey the truth but would not hurt Jack. He had known all along, it was the last thing that he had wanted to be right about, but he knew the fallout that might take place as a result of their lie. "Jack, Aaron couldn't have that wish, Carole and Claire have to make their life now and it couldn't be done with me there." Kate looked at Jack, she was worried about how he might feel, she was worried that he might be smitten with guilt at his inability to fix things. She was especially concerned that he might be deeply saddened at his sister's condition. She continued to search for the right words, she had never been good at this, at explaining things. .

Kate put her arms around Jack's waist and pulled him close, she rested her head upon his chest and held him for a long moment and tried to communicate what her inadequate words could not say. She pulled her head back and peered into his eyes to convey her concern, her love. Jack surprised her. Jack was looking back at her with deep sympathy, he was not concerned for himself or his worries, he was concerned for her. The enormity of that fact hit Kate. She swallowed hard, she should have known, he had asked her about Claire not only out of concern for his sister, but he had also been worried about her. Kate was overwhelmed by Jack's tender care, she never expected it, it came around corners and snuck up on her, his kindness was almost a foreign thing to her, beautiful and strange.

"I'm so sorry, Kate, I am so sorry for everything that you have had to go through. I wish that I could have been there with you. I wish I could have been there for all of you." Jack continued to hold Kate. He knew her feelings for Aaron, he could not imagine the kind of strength it must have taken for her to leave him. That kind of sacrifice was beyond reckoning. Most people would not have been able to do it, they would have stayed and wondered why things were not working. They would have tried to appease everyone, including themselves. Kate had a severe way of looking at the world, she cut herself no slack. She knew what was best for Aaron and she did it, severe and simple.

"You were there for me, you were there for all of us, maybe not in the same place, but what you did, Jack was for all of us. I may not understand it but I know this much, without you nothing would have ever worked out right again." Kate tightened her hug momentarily and released him, she could say no more, there were no more words to be found.

Kate and Jack continued on their journey down the path, hand in hand, each consumed with thoughts of each other's welfare, each caring for the other's pain.


	15. Chapter 15

_**This is for you Erica. The Charlie Parker to my Joe Schmoe.**_

"All right Kate, you gonna tell me how you landed that," Jack took his one hand off of his hip and swung it in the direction of the beached Cessna. "here?" He then indicated the area of the beach with a frustrated wave of his other hand.

Jack saw the plane before Kate did. It was perched in a narrow strip of beach, the landside wings were covered with brush and the nose was a mere inches away from the trunk of a giant banyan tree.

"I thought you said you learned to fly from army brats not a flying circus. God Kate, this is even worse than I had imagined it." Jack leaned in and grasped a sea side wing of the plane in both of his hands, he had his head hung between his outstretched arms and he looked at the sand by his feet, "Kate, I know I need to just "accept" this, but can you please promise me something? Jack looked up and over the wing at Kate. "Never, never do this again, I don't care if I am stranded on the South Pole and left with nothing but one shoe to eat, please Kate, do not do this thing again."

Kate stood planted on both feet, she had her arms crossed over her chest and she shook her head vigorously, "No Jack, I will make no such promise. If you were stranded in Antarctica I would have to do this, I certainly wouldn't be able to hike in." Kate circled around the plane, even she was surprised at how ridiculous it looked, it was pinned in by the water and the jungle, it looked as if it had been dropped out of the sky. "Jack?"

Jack had disappeared, Kate panicked for a moment, this was the island after all, anything could happen; perhaps the beach just opened up and swallowed him. She looked down at her feet, beside her own; she saw two feet that were significantly larger, Jack's. Kate bent down and peered under the plane, Jack was lying under it inspecting the belly and wheels.

"This is a Cutlass isn't it? Kate, you got a Rolls engine in here?" Jack twisted his head up and looked over at Kate. She knew now that she could stop worrying about Jack seeing the plane. Jack had a quick trigger but he knew how to turn his frustration off on a dime. Kate chuckled to herself, Jack was an inveterate poker player, he knew when to throw in and he knew when to cut his losses. This issue would never resolve itself, she was a lost cause.

"You're absolutely right Jack, I was pretty lucky there, I guess. It's modified, I wanted to be able to go more than 700 nautical miles, it was a hair farther. Milo got me a good mechanic; she could probably fix one of these things up in the dark."

"I do not want to know your definition of a hair." Jack muttered this under his breath.

Kate opened the door of the plane and grabbed the tool box from the back, she pulled it out onto the beach and opened it. "I'm going to take some of these to Bernard, they'll come in handy."

"Whoa there, Kate, don't take all the tools, leave some, I think I'd like to take a look at this a little." Jack was opening up the hood and peering in the space at the front of the little plane. "Yeah, this is a beauty, you know how to choose them, Kate." Jack looked over at Kate, he had a huge grin on his face, "Kate this thing is the shiz, Bernard may want to meet Harry, I want to meet Milo. He found this thing in one day?"

Kate loved discovering new sides of Jack, she hadn't known this gear head aspect of his personality. She walked over to the engine compartment and peered in and pointed at a cylinder. "See Jack, this is what was modified. It gave me the extra boost I needed. We added some tanks as well, see?" Kate pointed at the belly, "it added about 20 gallons to capacity. It really bought me some time. That woman really saved my skin."

"Remind me to kiss her when I meet her, I like her a lot." Jack looked up and turned to Kate with a grin on his face.

Kate got on her tip toes and put her hands on the sides of Jack's face, she let her fingers trace the stubble on his cheeks and she pushed his lengthening hair behind his ears and pulled him towards her. "Jack, the only person you are going to be kissing from now on is standing right in front of you." She leaned in and kissed him passionately, slowly and carefully, giving great attention to each detail, she wanted Jack to remember this. She wanted to claim him for her own. His surprised response was immediate. Kate's careful ministrations provided the perfect counterpoint for Jack's urgency. Jack grabbed Kate by the waist and turned farther towards her. He allowed his hands to explore the dip of Kate's back and to trace the beautiful line to the swell below; he lingered there, momentarily pausing to recall to his senses the feeling of its luxurious curve. Then impatient for her, needing to bring her closer, he pulled her in, flush against his own body and he kissed her back, hard.

Leaning his forehead against Kate's, Jack gave himself a moment to regain his normal ability to breath. Jack pulled back a moment and nodded at Kate. "Kate, you are such a singular person. As much as I don't like what you did, I think that in the interests of justice I have to tell you how much I admire you. Kate, what you did here, that was some bitching flying."

Later Jack looked down at Kate as she lay resting, almost completely curled up in his lap. He looked back up, stared out at the sea and absently played with her dark curls thinking about what was to come. He had to get Kate off the island and he would have to go with her. There was no separating them now; they had tried that, however reluctantly. Even if he could stand the separation, which he doubted, he felt that Kate would not leave him. Jack looked down at her, he didn't want her to.

Kate yawned and stretched and looked above her, ahh, Jack. She gave him a sleepy slow smile. Jack returned it, it could be that his favorite thing in the world was a drowsy Kate. She always looked like he imagined she might have looked at five, completely innocent, her awareness subdued, vulnerable. He struggled against the urge to kiss her again, he wondered why that was. He dropped the struggle and kissed her gently. She returned the kiss with warmth, reveling in his closeness. She half sat up and leaned to the side, rested her weight on one arm and peered over at him.

"Jack, there is something else that I have to tell you, it isn't going to be easy so I need to ask you to do something for me." Kate forged on, not waiting for his affirmation. Jack needed to know this and she couldn't put it elegantly. "Will you listen to me all the way through before you say anything?"

Jack nodded back at Kate. He dreaded what might come next, what did he need to hear? Maybe he had it all wrong, maybe he hadn't read her correctly, maybe she had changed her mind. Was she leaving? She had come back to save him, she did it and now she was leaving again. Jack guessed that that was what he wanted, she would be safe. He was surprised that she would go, he had thought…

"Jack?" Kate looked at him, alarmed. "Where did you go?" Kate sat up and pulled her knees under her chin and faced Jack fully.

"Kate, if you need to leave, could you just do it quickly? I don't think that I could take a long drawn out goodbye." Jack shook his head and would not look at her; he spoke to the sea.

"Jack" Kate placed her hand on Jack's cheek. "I'm not leaving unless you want me to, and if you did, I still wouldn't really be able to, even if I could fly out, I don't think that I could ever do it." Kate took a deep breath at the thought, and shuddered. "I am here Jack, you're completely stuck with me. Is that what you thought I wanted to tell you?"

"Yeah." Relief was drawn upon Jack's features, lightening its shadows.

Kate took a deep breath and replaced her arms around her legs and gave herself an encouraging hug, she let it out in a rush, "What I need to tell you is that I am pregnant, Jack." Kate looked at a spot on Jack's chest, she couldn't look up at his face, not yet. "I didn't know, not when I flew…here. If I had, I don't know, I don't want to know what I would have done. But I didn't, Rose suspected and told me last night. It was all I needed, the signs are all there." Kate stopped, she hoped that she would never have to say another word, she was so done with talking, so done with giving out new revelations. She felt like Katie Couric or something delivering nightly newscasts. She continued to concentrate hard on an interesting square inch of Jack's chest, she memorized each weave of his t-shirt's fabric.

Jack sat stunned.

He couldn't quite process this, he tried not to but something compelled him to turn and look at the plane.

He shook his head, he didn't mean to but he blurted it out. He recalled their one night before their return together to the island. "Is it mine?"

Kate shook herself out of her thread induced trance. She placed her hand on Jack's chin and made him face her fully. She looked at him long and hard, willing him to listen with his full attention. "Jack, this child is yours, there has been no one else." Kate said it as simply as possible, it was the plain truth, stark and clear. She could not make him believe her if he didn't wish to, but she hoped with all of her heart that he would.

Jack nodded slowly a dawning look of, comprehension and memory mingled there for a time soon to be replaced by a look of astonished wonder. He allowed himself a fleeting trace of a smile; he closed his eyes and took in the enormity of the fact, the_ fact_ of this child. It instantly mattered, it became his urgent priority, for Jack the world shifted in that moment.

Jack pulled his back up straighter, he looked as if he had made a decision, resolve was etched upon his features and he looked straight at Kate

"I am getting you, me and god, Kate." Jack shook his head, "our baby off this island." Jack took Kate's outstretched hand in his and brought it to his mouth as if to seal his vow, with a brief, determined kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Thank you again for your kind and encouraging reviews. I hate to admit it because it reflects such a frail ego but they keep me inspired. Onward with our story!**_

Later in the afternoon, Bernard and Jack were pulling in a net together, carefully drawing it in so as not to tangle it, using the skills that they had learned long ago from Jin.

"Pretty unbelievable feat," Bernard looked over at the plane and whistled. "Kate channeled a more fortunate Amelia Earhart here

"We've got a good bit of fish here, Bernard, enough for a little while if we dry it, is salt a problem?" Jack changed the subject deftly, that flight was something he preferred not to dwell on.

"Rose and I harvest it from sea water periodically. There's some stored. You suppose there's fuel in that thing?"

Bernard was like a dog with a bone with that damn plane. Jack figured that he wouldn't be able to veer the conversation in any other direction anyway. The Cessna stuck out like a sore thumb on the beach, there was no getting around it. Jack laid the net down carefully and walked over to the plane. It was large and out of place, its smooth and shiny surface in contrast to the rough foliage of the jungle.

Bernard and Jack stood with their feet in the water and their arms crossed over their chests. They looked upon the plane with the peculiar kind of love and admiration that some men reserved for machinery, especially the flying kind.

"No, no fuel, she came in pretty much empty, good thing you had that fire, Bernard. Other than that it's fundamentally undamaged as far as I can tell." Jack stepped in closer and opened the cock pit door. He rustled inside and drew out the tool box; Kate had left some of the tools behind. One propeller was bent where it came into contact with some heavy branches on the island side and there was a long gash in the belly, it could be fixed by bending some of the metal back with a crow bar. The island side wing had some damage but could be repaired as well.

"So Jack, are you planning on looking for fuel and flying this baby out of here? Listen, I know it might seem like a good idea, but to fly all the way back to Samoa, that'd be pretty rough. It's a lot to ask for; two miracles like that in a row."

Jack looked back at Bernard, his face was bleak. "Bernard, there's not much alternative. If we had adequate fuel we could make it with a little bit of a safety net. Maybe I could rig an extra tank up somehow, it'll be tricky because of the weight problem, I'll have to look at the weight and fuel ratios. I don't know, I'll have to work on it."

Bernard nodded his head, "Jack you have to do what you have to do, I know what I have to do, I'm going to go back to Rose with this fish, we'll dry some of it together and tonight we'll all eat the rest. I'll see you later."

By the time Bernard turned around, Jack was already under the belly of the plane inspecting the gash with the crowbar in his hand.

Kate stood in the jungle with six felled saplings by her side. She was chewing the side of her cheek, lost in thought. Two of them would make perfect beams to support the side of Bernard and Rose's sagging cabin. Kate had figured out where to place the buttresses and was gauging the length of the wood. It seemed just right. She pulled the two most likely limbs and positioned them behind her. She bent her knees, grunted and lifted the ends of each beam and positioned one on each shoulder. She straightened her body, put her head down and began to drag them down a scarcely discernable path toward the shelter.

Bernard and Rose were salting the extra fish down when Kate came into the camp site, the sight of her made them both laugh. She was comical to see, almost as if she had hitched herself to a pony cart.

"Well Kate, I'm glad to see that new exercise routine is working for you!" Bernard knew before the joke came out of his mouth that it wasn't very funny, he never let that stop him before though, he figured that he wouldn't start now.

Kate ignored the jest, she ignored pleasantries as well, she was focused on the task at hand. "See those sagging walls there?" Kate put the two logs down on the ground at her feet with a thump and pointed at their small shelter which was sadly off kilter on two sides. "These should be just right to shore them up, there and there." Kate walked over and pointed at two different spots near the bottom surface of the thatched roof. "If I put a notch here and dig a hole for foundation support it'll make the angle true. Better all around."

Bernard and Rose turned to look at their little home. "Kate you're right! I've been meaning to fix that, just couldn't quite figure out the best way to do it." Rose beamed at Kate. Bernard got up and gestured toward the areas that Kate had indicated, "Not sure how to make notches sophisticated enough to bear the weight, we might need a couple of tools we don't have."

Kate wore a broad smile on her face, "Bernard, I think I have what we'll need. I brought some tools on the plane, we've got a little coping saw for the big branches and a file to get the notches right. I don't have a hand drill or anything but with the file we might be able to make some fairly delicate pegs that will hold. I'm itching to try it." Kate looked around, her attention became momentarily diverted. "Didn't Jack come back with you?"

"No, I left him back on the beach with the plane." Bernard turned to Rose, "You should see it honey, it's crazy how it's stuck between the ocean, the jungle and a huge Banyan! Don't know how you did that Kate, and oh yeah, in the dark."

"I know how she did it," Rose turned to look at Kate, "you were meant to come honey, that's all there is to it." Rose walked over to Kate and put her arm over the younger woman's shoulder. "Thank you Kate for thinking of us, you don't have to do these things you know, we don't expect it. We are just so glad to have you here." Rose's heart went out to Kate, she was so driven, like a straight shaft, thrown clear and high. Kate was compelled somehow to communicate her feelings by actions, she couldn't say them with words. It dawned on Rose that it would be best to accept Kate's gestures as tokens of her regard, her love. It would be best for her and Bernard not to reject them or to attempt to graciously divert them, but to embrace Kate's acts of service gratefully in the same spirit in which they were given. Rose spoke again, this time not lightly but in deep seriousness, "Kate it would be wonderful to _not_ have a crooked little house, your plan sounds ingenious, we would love for you to do it. I only have one request."

Kate gave Rose such a look of gratitude that it nearly broke Rose's heart. "What's that?"

"Do not move those monstrously large logs any more. Young lady, you are forbidden to do that on this property, in your condition you have to be more careful." Rose was genuinely stern, she did not shake her finger at Kate, that desperate measure was reserved for Jack alone. Kate made a mental note to herself not to disobey that order.

"Bernard, you and I are going to have to get our old bones moving and help this girl with those things from now on."

Bernard looked at Rose, he was confused, he shrugged his shoulders. Bernard was used to it.

As dusk began to settle, Kate made her way to the lagoon. Jack had not come back from the beach; she hadn't seen him since she had told him her news in the morning. She supposed that it was difficult for him to process, She felt a wave of sorrow pass through her, heavier than any saplings she might balance on her shoulders.

Kate shed her clothing by the shore and dove deep into the little lagoon.

Jack arrived at the cabin with the sunset; he had lost himself in the intricacies of the Cessna's engine and its ratios of load to fuel. He sat down on a log and placed his elbows on his knees and let out a deep sigh, it had been a long afternoon.

He greeted Bernard and Rose with a familiar phrase, "Where's Kate?" Then he looked at them with a sheepish half smile and added, "Ah, hello."

"Hello Jack, Kate went to the lagoon after she ate, she seemed a little distracted." Bernard waved toward the jungle, "want some fish?"

"No, thank you Bernard, I think I'll just go…" Jack got up from the log and stepped toward the waiting jungle.

"You'll go to Kate, as you should." Rose spoke in a firm voice, she held her book in her hand and settled herself next to her husband, "Do you want a chapter, Bernard? This next one is another Wart adventure, the one with the ants, it's really brutal. I've been looking forward to this one."  
Jack looked back at the couple, settling themselves in for a story. He smiled at memories of his brief time with Kate and Aaron. It certainly was one of the best ways to spend an evening.

Jack arrived at the lagoon just as the moon began to rise. It was still waning and cast a sliver of light over the water. In the shallows Kate sat centered in the pale line of the moonbeam's path. Jack walked toward her, careful not to disturb her apparent meditations. He wanted to leave her to her thoughts as long as he could, it gave him the leisure to fully appreciate the sight of her. Her head was tilted and with one hand she held her hair to the side, with the other she ladled small handfuls of water over her exposed neck, Jack followed the droplets with his eyes as they ran down her shoulders and coursed over the supple curve of her back. Jack crept up silently beside her and knelt down; scooping up a small portion of water into his cupped hands.

"Jack, I can hear you there, you know." Kate whispered this, and continued with her self ministrations.

"I know better than to think I can sneak up on you Kate but it doesn't mean that I'll stop trying." Jack poured a delicate stream of water over Kate's neck. He did not resist the temptation to bend his head down and lick a tiny drop from her shoulder. He made a trail with his mouth up through the nape of her neck to her ear, where he whispered, "Kate, I want you to know that I am glad." Jack cursed his inability to express himself. It was such a small inadequate word, but really the only one. The single syllable reflected his heart's true condition. He was glad, the word conveyed joyful acceptance, an eager embrace. "I am so _glad _about this new thing." Jack did not want to utter the word, _baby_, he had a strange feeling that it might break the magical spell of its existence. He closed his eyes at the thought. "You are so beautiful, Kate, it's hard for me to believe that you're real." Kate smiled in response remembering Aaron's comment about the deer in the California forest.

Kate turned to look at Jack, and her heart soared at his words. His face was so beautiful, reflected in the moonlight. Every plane and sharp curve was accentuated and his deep brown eyes revealed his kindness, regard and absolute devotion. Kate again succumbed to her powerful love for this man. She paused and smiled at the seeming absurdity of her next thought. Jack was the most completely grown up person she had ever known. Never had she known anyone so willing to count and pay the high price, the cost of life.

"Every time I look at you Jack, it reminds me of the fact that it is worth it to be real." Kate leaned forward and placed a sensuous kiss on Jack's lips, and let her fingers slide along the hem of his t-shirt. "Join me?"

In answer, Jack shed his shirt, shoes and jeans as quickly and efficiently as possible. He slipped into the water behind Kate and pulled her in, pressing her tiny, exquisite form against himself. He sighed at the feeling of her silky skin against his body. He felt the comforting weight of her head nestled beneath his chin, he could stay like this forever, but he needed more, he needed to be closer. So, Jack enfolded her completely in his arms and made love to her tenderly in the dim light of the pale waning moon.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Please do not be alarmed at the shift in time that this chapter represents, it was planned all along, my dears. **_

Jack looked over the makeshift wall toward Kate. She was sorting through some lumber, no they were sticks, Jack corrected himself, the luxury of lumber was far from here. Jack shook his head. She was building something, whatever it was, it was indecipherable to him. She paused to place her hand on her now sizable belly. He could tell that she was having a hard time getting used to the obstacle of her own body. He supposed that she had never before given in to her own physical limitations. He had never known her to be sick, he smiled at the memory of her giving him advice when he had appendicitis. He wished he had some crackers now, anything besides fruit and fish would be a nice change. It wasn't strictly necessary though, he had to admit that Kate was flourishing. Her quiet, industrious days and diet of fruit and fish seemed to make her shine from within. He remembered Kate on the island the first time, during those days on the beach. Kate had been busy then also, she had always seemed so good at survival. Perhaps it wasn't survival anymore, now it was more like self sufficiency.

Jack directed his fierce powers of concentration on Kate. To him she was more than beautiful now; she was everything that the word _woman_ conveyed. She seemed to grow daily, she was carrying completely in front, the rest of her body was still very slender. She never stopped moving long enough to store up any weight. It was uncanny what the human form could take, he speculated momentarily as to whether she could be carrying twins. He reminded himself to check for multiple heart sounds. He had taken over the medical gear that Kate had brought, there was a stethoscope inside. He wished that it was more comprehensive, the baby would be better off with folic acid, maybe not though, with the fruit and fish it would have plenty. Fish, Jack shook his head, if they were on the mainland she wouldn't be able to eat it at all. He wondered whether it was safe this far from civilization.

Kate looked at Jack with a tenuous smile of welcome on her face. She looked down, why was she always sitting in the dirt when he came? He was staring at her with his hands on his hips, beads of sweat were collected on his brow, he looked grim and tired. He had regained all of his strength in the past months and had added to it considerably, but Kate could tell that whatever he had been doing before he arrived had been exhausting.

"So what is it now? Are you going to make a blender out of sticks, or is it a recliner?" Jack walked toward Kate and nodded at her creation.

"It's a trellis, for some climbing peas that need to get off the ground, something that I am having a hard time doing." Kate dropped her project and placed both of her hands in front of herself and pushed off. She clambered her way to a vertical position.

Jack bent down to take one of her hands, Kate waved him off with impatience and looked up at him slightly apologetically; she dusted soil and sand off of her hips. She had outgrown all of her pants and shirts, Rose had helped her to create some strangely appropriate garments from some fabric she had secreted from those first days on the beach. Kate supposed they came from the plane. They were actually more comfortable than what she had had before, they were simple and soft.

Kate instinctively placed her hand on her abdomen and waited for the movement that she knew would come with her change in position. There it was. Kate gave a shy smile in Jack's direction but he was distracted, staring away from her with a frown. She peered over at him curiously, he had been gone again. He usually disappeared with the sun rise and came back before the sun arched to the center of the sky. She didn't want to ask him where he went, what he did for half the day, every day. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her. Kate kept her curiosity hidden. It made her heart sink.

They stood in the little clearing behind Rose and Bernard's small makeshift cabin. Kate and Jack had moved back there months ago. It hadn't exactly been a decision, it had evolved over time. Most nights Jack and Kate had retreated from the communal fire to seek privacy and they found themselves drawn to this place. They had remained near Bernard and Rose, and had fallen in seamlessly to the rhythm of their days. Kate continued gathering fruit, amending her methods to accommodate her growing midsection as time went on. Because she could no longer climb, she hunted further off the paths and into more obscure areas than before but still came back with bounty.

She had made good use of the tools she retrieved from the plane; she finished the supports for the walls of the older couple's shelter and when she was still early in her pregancy she had helped Rose repair the roof so that it could withstand the daily island rains. Jack became Rose and Bernard's partner in fishing and gathered in the nets in the afternoons, ones that Rose and Bernard carefully arranged with the dawn. They both enjoyed Bernard and Rose's company, now they were family to each other.

Kate had spent the previous few weeks working quietly on a shelter for her and Jack. She hadn't said anything about it, it was just appearing slowly, the walls were about seven feet up from the ground now. There they would stay. It was of a generous size, large enough to accommodate the two of them and a child. She had rolled the corner posts from the jungle quite a while ago, when she was still agile and strong enough to dig deep enough holes and maneuver them into place. She obeyed Rose's advice about the posts strictly by the letter of the law, she did not move them while in their home site. However, she considered off site territory not under Rose's watchful eye, her own jurisdiction. She moved the logs taking care not to strain her body; she positioned them and pushed them into place with her feet. It had involved a ridiculous amount of path clearing, it had taken weeks to clear a seven foot swathe. When it was time to put the logs upright she asked Bernard to lift them, he had looked at her in surprise which soon broke into a delighted smile. He had been waiting for days for her request.

Kate felt hesitant to ask Jack for help, he seemed completely neutral toward the home that she was constructing. Kate could live with that, they had always been independent, even when they lived together on the mainland. It wasn't that Kate didn't need Jack, she did, the need was so strong that it almost frightened her. She and Jack were both essentially solitary creatures though, they both found peace in pursuing their goals alone. Blending their worlds had always been difficult, a little like a dance that took skill and effort.

The rest of the walls were reeds, woven tightly. Kate smiled at the thought of them, she remembered something her mother had said during one of the few domestic projects they had undertaken. They were wallpapering the kitchen. Her mom had said, "Kate you can do anything if you do it in small manageable pieces." Kate hadn't said anything to that, wall papering was a perfect example of something that you could not do in small manageable pieces. Their kitchen looked horrible when they finished, they had taken the paper down eventually. Reeds on the other hand, were perfectly adaptable to the little bit at a time theory. All the shelter needed now was a roof, it would have to wait, she couldn't climb and a temporary tarp would have to suffice.

Jack was staring at the shelter, he couldn't conceal his distaste for it, he did not say anything though, it was what Kate did, that's all. It represented the fact that they were still here, a place that he had decided to flee. He looked away and fastened his eyes again on Kate.

She stood with her hands placed gently on her abdomen, a concentrated look upon her face. Jack walked to her and covered her smaller hands with his own, he stretched his fingers out to rest between her smaller digits, closed his eyes and waited. There it was, he felt it, a slow rumbling, like the tiny rustle of leaves on a light breeze.

Kate leaned in and placed her forehead against his, she breathed in his musky scent and swallowed. "Jack" Kate uttered his name softly; she knew instinctively that gentleness was what he required right now. It seemed to her that Jack was undergoing a similar transformation to the one that he experienced before their return the second time to the island. He was growing distant from her, distracted and remote. She was frightened at the prospect of his dissolution. Something was terribly wrong. She fought the urge to probe at his unrest, instead she waited. She did what she always did and she focused on the here and now. "Whenever I move, the baby seems to rest, it's when I stop that it moves. We have a completely different agenda."

"Well, Kate," Jack remained leaning into Kate, but still careful not to put his greater weight upon her. "that can't be a new experience for you, your agenda rarely matches with other people's." Kate detected a hint of sarcasm in his voice, she didn't know where the undertone of anger was coming from. Jack instantly felt remorse, she was not the cause of his frustration and he was taking it out on her.

Kate withdrew, stung at his harsh words. She turned and busied herself with cleaning up her trellis project.

Jack stepped forward and gently pulled Kate away from her work. He stood behind her, put his arms around her chest and drew her in as close to himself as he could. He dipped his head and put his chin upon her shoulder and whispered into her ear. "I'm sorry Kate, I can be a real bastard sometimes." He wanted to tell her how scared he was, but that would not accomplish anything except perhaps to frighten her. He wanted to tell her that he had been hunting for gasoline every morning and he couldn't even find a trace of the stuff.

Kate melted at his touch, she placed her hands on his arms and rubbed them softly, "Jack, it's okay, so can I."

Jack let his mouth linger near her ear and kissed his way to her neck's delicate nape and the tiny, dark curls gathered right above. They tasted of coconut and Kate, sweet and milky, a sensuous flavor that sent Jack's pulse racing. He let himself rest there, closing his eyes while his thumbs traced a pattern on Kate's swollen abdomen.

Kate had never known such contentment as she did while she rested within the circle of Jack's arms. She felt safe and loved, she yearned to return that feeling towards Jack double fold. She sensed that he needed something right now, something that in spite of all the love she felt for him, she couldn't provide. This was something that all the work in the world couldn't repair. Kate wondered if the island was pulling on Jack again. Was he gone in the mornings for nefarious "Jacob" duties? Kate did not share Jack's persistent need to know, but she was curious. She wanted to know what was causing him so much pain. She decided to do something that she wouldn't normally do, she decided to break an internal rule that she had created for herself many years ago when it was important that she not allow anyone within the tight circle of her life. Kate decided to probe, she was determined to ask Jack a question.

"Jack?" Jack pulled his head back with a small startled movement, the sound of her questioning tone surprised him a little.

"Yeah Kate?" Jack put his head back down and continued to luxuriate in the feeling, taste and smell of Kate's hair. As he drifted farther into his search for fuel and deeper into his consuming goal of fleeing the island, he found his need to be close to Kate to be stronger. Her physical presence was his only source of comfort. It wasn't just that he was tired, what he was doing also exhausted his spirit. He had made a mental map of a two hour hike's perimeter around their home site. He trekked through every possible path that he could, searching for any kind of machinery or shed, any evidence of fuel. Every day he came up with nothing, all he ever saw was more jungle; there was no indication of any kind of human presence where he searched. He dared go no further in his hunt. He needed to get back to Kate for a portion of every day, he was afraid to leave her long, she could deliver in the next few weeks. It could be any day if what he suspected were true and it was twins. Soon he would not be able to leave at all. He trusted Rose and Bernard to keep an eye on her, but what if something should go wrong in the delivery? Jack was getting close to despair.

"Jack, what is wrong?" Kate said this very quietly, she felt almost ashamed to ask him this question. She wanted any revelations from Jack to be given at his own volition. She hated to force him to talk; his decision to share his pain should be his alone. She felt that she was cheapening his choice somehow by asking.

But she suspected that perhaps she was wrong, maybe he wanted her to ask. So she frowned, swallowed hard and carried on, probing further. "Is it the island, Jack, is it calling you somehow, does it need you?" Kate had no clue about the mysterious nature of the island. She considered herself in no way to be a spiritual person, the ins and outs of goblets of golden life were not her forte. She realized however, that those things might be affecting Jack, so she prepared herself to be brought to a further understanding.

Jack pulled back his head again and did an unexpected thing. He laughed. It was a deep laugh, straight from his belly and it was released from somewhere deep inside. It was a protracted release and Jack laughed until tears came to his eyes. Kate turned around in surprise, she didn't understand his mirth, she was certainly not in on this great joke. He shook his head vigorously and bent over to regain his composure.

"Kate, I'm pretty convinced that the island is done with me. I certainly haven't heard from it that's for sure. It's as silent as a stone as far as I am concerned." Jack looked deep into Kate's eyes and fully acknowledged the huge step that her question represented; he knew without a doubt that it was hard for her to ask. "I haven't wanted to say much Kate, I thought that maybe I wouldn't have to because every day I think that maybe I'll come back with what I am looking for and you wouldn't have to worry."

"Worry about what Jack?" Kate figured that if she was in for an inch, it might as well be a mile, once she'd started questions she could damn well keep going.

"Fuel." Jack let the syllable drop like the golden thing that it was in his mind. It was the elixir that he sought, the solution to his dilemma, the one thing that could achieve their escape. "Kate, I'm going to look for one more day, then I'll have to stop. I won't be able to leave you after that, you're too close, you have a few weeks but there's a chance you could be early. I will give it one more shot."

Jack took Kate's hands and drew her to a nearby log where he sat down , his body slumped in weariness, she remained standing in front of him. With his head hung in defeat Jack spoke to the ground, "Kate, after tomorrow if I don't find fuel you will have to prepare to deliver here on the island." Even though he did not quite believe it, he reassured her, "It will be all right, I will be here for you and everything will be fine."

Kate knew a lie when she heard it, she knew that Jack wanted to believe what he was saying and he certainly wanted her to believe it but he didn't, he did not think that everything would be all right. He knew too much, he was well aware of everything that could go terribly wrong.

Kate pulled Jack's slumped shoulders closer to herself and drew Jack's lowered head in to rest between her soft and comforting breasts, with her fingers she gently stroked his throbbing temples and she whispered what she truly did believe, "It will be fine, everything will be fine," Kate shifted her right hand and with the greatest of care, cradled the back of his nestled head and completed her creed, " and Jack, I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

_**On spring break, not on vacation though, I am writing an endlessly boring term paper so this is my alternative to pouting. Hope the ridiculous amount of board space I am taking on FF is not too hard on those of you who can barely tolerate this story. But there is hope! The Talisman will come to its conclusion and soon! For those of you dear ones, who are hanging in there with me, thanks from the bottom of my heart.**_

The next morning Jack was up before dawn, he had one last idea. He had not gone directly north yet, the brush was nearly impassable in that direction but in the preceding months he had perfected his ability to cut through it quickly.

These months of searching had given him the eyes, ears and nose of a tracker, something that he had admired about Kate and Locke early on. He had developed the sixth sense that is acquired through long experience. Bent branches, torn leaves and the barest traces of prints now held fewer mysteries for him. The jungle had begun to reveal it secrets and unfortunately for Jack they were not the ones that he was looking for.

As he was making his final checks for water and fruit and was getting ready to leave. He heard a rustling in their pallet of sleeping bags on the ground of the clearing. They still slept under the open sky on clear nights.

"Jack!" Kate was struggling to stand, and called out to stop him before he left. "Jack, I hope you find what you're looking for."

The illusion to the past was not lost on Jack, he smiled at her reference and understood her meaning. Like that previous time when they had found themselves on different paths, they were not opposed to one another, just not on the same road. He did not really know if Kate lent her full support to his search, she had been very quiet about it. It was almost as if she did not think that he would be able to achieve success and out of her sense of courtesy she did not want to say anything. Actually Jack understood that, it was how he was about the shelter she was building, he didn't believe in it. He said little about it, the fact that he found it unnecessary and even a little distasteful didn't mean that he had to tell her that. So here they were, as usual it seemed, at an impasse, both struck silent by their regard for one another.

Jack turned around and walked over to where she lay, "Kate, don't get up, you should rest a little longer." He looked down at her tangled mop of curls, her eyes at half mast and at the blankets that fell in folds around her round and sleepy form and he felt a powerful surge of tenderness rise in his chest. The sight of her imprinted itself upon his mind, and added to the conviction about what he needed to do that day. He knelt by her side and reached out and placed his hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheek in his palm, "Kate, I have to do this, please lay low today, try not to strain yourself, do that for me, all right?"

Kate nodded slowly as she settled herself back down on the pallet, she could do that. "I'm just going to get a little fruit, there's a small grove not far from here, the fruit is actually at my height, no need to even stoop to pick it up. It will fall if I wait any longer to get it, then I'll have to bend. I promise, Jack that I will come right back here when I am done, and be as lazy as possible."

Jack smiled at that, he wondered what her version of lazy was; perhaps she would come back here and render tallow for a dozen candles not a hundred. He shook his head, "I mean it Kate, it's going to be time to start slowing way down." Jack decided to be completely straight with her, "It could be twins in there." Jack shifted and leaned forward, "You could deliver early and that wouldn't be good, not here." He reached down and tucked the blankets under Kate's chin, kissed the top of her tousled head and left.

Several hours later Kate stepped into the Bernard and Rose's home site, she stepped gingerly through the paths that they had fashioned between small blocks of cultivated garden space. Kate had always envisioned just such a garden when she had been in California with Aaron, small enough so that she would never have to step into the ground where the plants grew and perfect for children's adventures. Small areas to run around and over but never through, she smiled at that, always through, if she knew Aaron. She recalled their muddy boots lined up behind the door on rainy days, caked three inches deep. When rains came, sometimes she and Aaron couldn't contain themselves, they had to go outside. They would don their rubber boots and go out into the deserted suburban neighborhood. Aaron would take Kate's hand and tug on it fiercely urgent to get to the first puddle. Then he would spy it, look up at Kate and they would nod, smiling at each other and get ready for their flying leap. She would grasp Aaron's hand lightly in case she didn't pace herself correctly and she would allow him to rev up his little legs. He would put his head down and charge, his run was still a combination between a waddle and sprint but Aaron could go pretty fast when he wanted to. About three feet before they hit the puddle they would jump as high as they could go and land with a joyous and mighty splash. Then they would do it again and again.

"Kate!" Bernard was coming up from the beach after having set the nets and called to her from the opening in the path. "Will you join us for a little while?"

She looked over at Rose and Bernard, Rose was tending to a pot of hot water, steeping the morning tea. She loved spending quiet morning time in their company, their demands were few. With them Kate never felt the tugging sense of impatience to retreat that she felt with most people, with Rose and Bernard, she could rest, their gentle ability to just abide soothed her.

"I'd love to." Kate sat, Bernard had fashioned a seat of sorts from logs they had dragged from the beach, it suited Kate's very pregnant body perfectly and she sighed as she lowered herself into it.

"What you got there, Kate?" Rose was looking over at a large sack with a piece of sheet metal under one side of it, it was rigged to a four foot long rope. Rose loved to observe the ingenious contraptions that Kate dreamed up to help her remain productive in spite of her nearly to term pregnancy.

"Well, I don't want to limit myself to what I can carry today, which is precious little, so I thought that with the metal under this bag I could slide some extra fruit behind me." Kate took the cup of tea that Rose offered gratefully. "There's a lot back there, just my height. This is good." Kate closed her eyes and took an appreciative sip, "You found that wild chamomile didn't you?"

Bernard glanced over at the two women talking, he was grateful for Kate, she quickened something in Rose's spirit. The younger women had Rose's respect and she brought out Rose's protective nature. Rose knew that Kate's eternal busyness was Kate's way of letting them know that she would be glad to be invited in at any time to visit the tight circle of their small family of two. Bernard imagined that much of Kate's young life had been spent outside looking into the warm windows of other people's domestic lives. Here with them, it was finally different. Ironically in their very rustic camp site of a domicile, Kate was finally invited in and really experienced for the first time what it was like to be on the other side of one of those warm glowing windows.

"Gonna need some help today Kate?" Bernard asked already knowing the answer, he knew she craved her jungle time, time to be alone with the birds and her thoughts but he asked anyways, there was always a chance that she would answer differently just this once.

Kate smiled; Bernard asked her this every day. She had never really understood Bernard before this, but now she did.. Now she understood what drew Rose to this seemingly ordinary man. He was kind. It was a rare gift in the world, Kate knew. He spent his days quietly undertaking dozens of acts of unobserved kindnesses. He had made her the chair she was rising from one day, he never said anything, he just drew it up to the fire and gestured toward it, inviting her to sit down.

"No thanks Bernard, I won't be gone long, it's not far in." Kate felt bad refusing, but she knew that he expected it, he would just continue to persevere faithfully in his offer out of his heart's natural generosity.

Kate gathered her contraption and made her way over to one of her more obscure paths in the jungle. She had seen a small cluster of guava trees at the beginning of the week and she followed the path in its direction.

Jack wiped the sweat off of his forehead, the heat was just beginning to rise for the day. The path he was forging was cut out of the most difficult and dense part of the forest jungle that he had yet encountered. He peered through an opening in the trees toward the sun, it was getting close to time to turn around. He had left marks to indicate his path and he now knew how not to go in endless circles through the jungle getting hopelessly lost. The first week of his search had been frustrating, he remembered going around and around the same two trees dozens of times. He knew that it was irrational but that particular set of trees became his enemy. He remembered laughing at himself because he had determined to come back there with Kate's saw and demolish them. But ironically, the trees he could never lose sight of on that one day, he could never find again.

Jack knew that there were Dharma stations somewhere; he couldn't believe that they were so far away. Rose and Bernard had purposely chosen their camp site so as not to be near the little civilization that they had benignly turned their backs on.

Traces of civilization must be just a little over his two hour limit, he would stretch that limit today, it was his last chance. Jack put his head down and trudged on, never losing sight of the small signs around him that determined his direction. He glanced up, was that a path? It looked like a real honest to goodness path. Something he had seen no sign of in the jungle's depths for months. It was a dirt path, obscured by undergrowth, Jack tried to subdue his hopes, he tamped down the burgeoning excitement that was beginning to spark in his mind. Keeping sight of the trail he left behind him, Jack stepped to the side and followed the little path. As he walked on, the jungle became just a little less dense, the light from the sky was able to shine through. Then he saw it. Jack no longer tamped down anything, he let his heart soar. There it was.

Before him sat the carcass of a Dharma van, turned on its side by the side of a road, barely a road, it was more like a narrow meadow. Jack hoped, prayed even that the tank was full, the chances were that it was. He remembered his days as a Dharma janitor; it had been policy to fill up vehicles before they left the compound in case of trouble in the jungle. It wasn't like there were gas stations around every corner. If this van had been on its way out for a trek, it would be full, if it was on a return trip it wouldn't. Jack figured he had a fifty percent chance, generally for him, those odds were good. He made his way over to the van, with a trembling heart he faced its upturned belly, and its exposed gas tank. Jack placed his pack of tools on the ground next to his feet and tapped on the tank with his knuckle. God, it wasn't a hollow ping, it was the solid dense sound of liquid behind metal. Jack smiled, now he was back in business. He grabbed a crow bar and wrench from his pack and began to disengage the tank. He had found his fuel.

By midmorning Kate had filled her sack with guava, they were perfect, her belly was full too. She enjoyed the picking and especially the eating, she relished the taste of the ripe juicy fruit. She was about to turn around and go back when she heard a strange noise behind her.

She turned and had to blink several times to make herself believe that what she saw was really there.

It was Jacob, he was facing her with his hand stretched out, a small gentle smile was on his face. "Kate, it's time for you to return it to me." He stretched his hand out a little closer and opened his palm face up. Each word he spoke was singular and crisply enunciated so as to give equal weight to each syllable. There was no question as to his meaning, Kate knew what he wanted, she did not know how she could comply.

At first Kate's face was utterly blank but it changed quickly to a look of stubborn determination, she knew he wanted the tiny plane, she shook her head vigorously. She felt as if she were five or six and she didn't want to go to bed, it dawned on her that she was very close to stamping her foot, she resisted the desire.

"Kate, it's time, you must give it to me. It is needed elsewhere now; you will not have need of it anymore." Jacob patiently waited for her compliance, he knew that it was hard, he had seen this before. Other people had been bearers of the talisman, other people would be again, it was the way of things.

Kate looked up into Jacob's eyes and knew that she would have to give it to him. His large blue eyes had the capacity to stare her down, to make her know that it was his right to take back what he had given her in the first place. It had been in that lunch box those many years ago. Funny how it had been the one constant thing she had had through her life time, it gave her solid weight somehow. She would feel a reduction in gravity at its loss.

She reached deep into the folds of her rose colored garment and drew out the tiny plane. She held it in her palm and rubbed it with her thumb as if to say goodbye. She put out her arm and quickly dropped it into Jacob's waiting hand. She turned away from him and closed her eyes. She did not want to see him anymore.

"Kate, listen to me, it is very important. I want to assure you Kate, that this is what has to happen." Those were Jacob's final words. As soon as they were spoken, Kate turned around and Jacob had vanished.

With his disappearance the light in the grove changed, it was darker somehow. Kate's eyes widened as she looked around her, the fruit on the trees had vanished. The trees themselves had changed, they seemed younger somehow. The grove was entirely different, she no longer was where she had been. Perhaps, she thought, the island had done one of its time transformations that she had heard about. Little did she suspect that it was not the island that had shifted, it was her.

Jack had rigged the gas can to the end of a long cable that Bernard had secreted into his small pile of belongings from the plane. He dragged it behind him, feeling a little like Sisyphus, on his trek up his perpetual mountain path. There way joy in his step though, he thought that Kate would certainly be fine for one more day, a day of flight. He began to make his plans for her safe delivery in a hospital. The Dharma van had an extraordinarily large double capacity tank, it had been a security vehicle necessary for maintaining the border. Jack was jubilant, and as he neared the clearing he called out Kate's name in a joyful greeting.

He was met with utter silence.

And with the worried faces of Bernard and Rose.

Bernard stepped up to Jack and took note of the large tank he dragged, Bernard dismissed it immediately.

"Jack, she's gone, Kate is gone. We can't find her anywhere."


	19. Chapter 19

_**I have given Kate many opportunities to shine so far, now it will be Jack's turn.**_

_Jack was jubilant, and as he neared the clearing he called out Kate's name in a joyful greeting._

_He was met with utter silence._

_And with the worried faces of Bernard and Rose._

_Bernard stepped up to Jack and took note of the large tank he dragged, Bernard dismissed it immediately._

"_Jack, she's gone, Kate is gone. We can't find her anywhere."_

The color drained immediately from Jack's face. He dropped the cable and the protective rags that he had wrapped around his hands fell onto the ground, forgotten.

Jack immediately began to take note of his surroundings, there was no physical damage to the area that he could see, she had not been forcibly removed from their clearing. He looked with narrowed eyes at Rose and Bernard and forced himself to remember how to talk.

His voice came out evenly and very low, "When did you last see her?" Jack took even breaths while he waited for their answers, he began to count the hours that he had been gone, it had been six. Six hours.

"She left us about four hours ago, Jack. We expected her to be back two hours after she left. We've been looking ever since." Bernard almost placed his hand on the other man's shoulder but he was somehow hesitant to, Jack's body was rigid.

Jack listened intently to Bernard and looked toward Rose, "Do you know which direction she was going?"

Rose spoke very slowly, "She went to a little grove, not far from here." Rose swallowed and continued on bravely, not wanting to reveal what she had to say next, this would be a bitter thing. "We have already looked there and Jack," Rose didn't know how to put this into gentle terms, what she had to say next would be devastating to him, she knew. So she looked at him with great sorrow and said, "her collected fruit is in that grove, as well as the little sled she built to put it on. It's as if she was taken forcibly or she just disappeared."

Jack's whole body slumped, it was if Rose had delivered a physical blow. He remembered Claire's disappearance; he had hoped that what had happened when he went into the heart of the island had put an end to mysterious disappearances. He had been wrong.

Claire had not been eaten though, she had just vanished. She had been alive though, perhaps if they had tried harder they could have found her. Jack took no more time to dwell on the terrible mistakes that had been made regarding her disappearance. Instead he began to determine what he would do to find Kate.

He looked at the sky, there were about eight more hours of daylight left. He would make a perimeter again around the clearing and home site, he knew the territory now. The most important thing to do right now was to cover as much territory as he could as quickly as he could before darkness fell.

"Did you check the lagoon, the beach?" Jack denied the workings of his imagination and the thought of Kate drowning is one that he cast aside vehemently.

"Yes Jack, it was something we thought of almost immediately." Bernard and Rose spoke at the same time and looked at each other.

"Bernard, Rose? Can one of you walk the beach? It's about eight hours more daylight so don't go more than three hours in either direction. I will search the perimeter, as fast and as far in as possible. I don't know when I will be back. I will be making concentric circles for a little while and then after that it'll be a broader swathe. Please don't try to follow me, not that you would, but it is important that someone is here, in case she just got distracted and wandered off." There was no hope in his voice.

Jack was done, done with talking.

He would need food, water and weapons, Rose and Bernard could help him with the first two things, he was on his own with the third. He went to Kate's small pile of possessions and retrieved the corpsman bag, nestled at the bottom lay something he had hoped never to have to use again lying forgotten under miscellaneous medical equipment, a nine millimeter pistol. He pulled it out, checked the heft in his palm, ascertained its load and stuck it in the back of his pants.

Jack went to the neatly stacked cache of tools and eyed it carefully, not to discern capacities for construction but quite the opposite. Jack was looking for any item that had the ability to render quick destruction. He selected Kate's coping saw, he eyed its edge carefully and stashed it in his belt loop, he also retrieved a sharp utility knife and held it in his fist. Finally Jack stood up and looked around one final time for any clue to her whereabouts. He stood and stared in desolation at what Kate had been trying to build here. Why hadn't he looked at it before? Every corner of the clearing carried reminders of her presence. That damned shack was built inch by inch by the careful workings of her fingers. Each trace of occupancy bore the stamp of her personality. Jack could barely stand to look at it; it made her absence that much harder to bear.

Rose retrieved something that had fallen by her side, she handed it to Jack. It was a bag full of dried fish and water bottles. "Jack, I don't know how long you are going to be gone, but this food should last many days. Please find Kate."

Bernard stepped forward and handed Jack a large bowie knife, "It's sharp, we keep the edge for the fish, maybe it'll help. Find her Jack. Rose and I are out of retirement now. We will do everything in our power to help you. We have to find our girl."

Jack nodded grimly at Rose and Bernard, shouldered the pack, carried the knife at his side and began his journey.

Kate tried to make her way back to the clearing but she was unable to make any headway. She found herself in a familiar but eerily different place. She recognized all the contours of the island, the stream was the same, the ravine and the gulley were familiar, but all of the paths were gone, they had vanished. The plants didn't seem right, she felt anchorless without her familiar trees and twisted roots, her tracker's instincts were of no use to her here. Kate, felt the force of full panic rising in her chest, she took five deep breaths and closed her eyes tight. Perhaps if she kept her eyes closed for five full seconds, the world would tilt again and be what it was.

Kate counted slowly, allowing each second to pass fully into the next, then she opened her eyes. No, everything was still completely off.

She decided to make her way to the beach, she looked up at the sun, it at least hadn't changed, there it was up there reigning over the sky, she had maybe seven hours of daylight left. She would head for the beach and make her way along the shore and find the plane. Then she would know where she was.

Jack began making his circles, he wasted no time, he had found the way into her little grove quickly and saw the little cart with the spilled fruit perched upon it. It was even worse to see than the clearing had been, each contour of the sad little contraption revealed her last movements, her last intentions and efforts. Jack forced a sharp, painful shaft of sadness at the sight away from his mind. He did not allow himself to linger. He took in the surroundings. There were no pieces of fabric nor was there any blood, not even a broken branch, there was no sign of struggle at all. Jack looked in all directions, he knew she had started here, it was not possible that she had not left a trace. It had not been more than six hours since her disappearance. He knew enough to see that any obvious signs of her departure had been covered up. Jack carefully paced the grove. He went over each branch, each blade of grass and broken leaf and still he found nothing.

There was no direction to follow; Kate had vanished without a trace.

Jack knew that he should not follow a blind trail; it was foolhardy and would do more harm than good in his overall search. He now understood Locke's reluctance to carry on in the hunt for Charlie so many years ago. But he also remembered that Kate had gone on, she had persevered, at his insistence, and they had found Charlie.

They had saved his life.

Jack decided to go on, he decided to do what Kate had done those many years ago. It seemed to him that she had figured out that in the instance of a blind trail the way to go forward is to follow the path that is least blind. So Jack looked around some more and looked for anything, even one single solitary disturbed thing. He saw a broken branch, one single broken branch and he decided to consider it marker, he almost laughed at how ridiculous it was, how desperate he was. He felt like a blind person in the dark trying to see. He followed the broken branch and carefully traced the ground with his eyes, and then he saw it.

The airplane, that god damned little airplane, under the brush by the broken branch.

This was not a normal disappearance, Jack knew that now. Jack decided that there was only one thing to be done.

Nothing mattered now, no goblet, no cave, no plane, no fuel. Just Kate.

Jack headed in the direction of the heart of the island.

He needed to seek the help of the island, and if the island wouldn't help him he knew what he would have to do.

He would have to fight it.


	20. Chapter 20

_**My dear, dear perseverant readers, this is for those of you who have hung on. Sometimes a story is a little like a roller coaster ride- maybe not exactly- maybe more like an unleashed funicular, the kind that only takes on one enormous incline. Going up can be torturously slow, and those who stay on need to hang on tight, because as the pinnacle is being approached, the ride will become fast and perhaps even a little furious. If I played my cards right there will be no disastrous crash and with that vague reassurance, I say: **_

_**Hang on honeys, here we go!**_

Kate found herself trudging through unfamiliar flora; it was distracting and difficult to be in such strangely familiar territory with utterly unfamiliar surroundings. The jungle trees were dense, there was a heaviness to them, they were hung with rich, lush foliage. The smell was ripe and moist, a musty odor that almost choked her throat. Nature reigned supreme here, she felt as if she were just a tiny speck, she had never felt so insignificant, not even in the center of the ocean.

There wasn't evidence of any kind of path, no person had trod here before, at least not in a very long time. This was virgin jungle, primordial and eerily silent. Kate looked at the sun again and estimated the direction of the sea. If her times were right it was late afternoon now, so she walked in the opposite direction of the sun's angle.

The sea was to the east of the grove, that is if the world had not completely changed.

Kate had been through wild island mysteries before, nothing quite this drastic though, nothing this terrifying and isolating. She had to stop, her body was screaming at her to rest. She placed her hand on her swollen abdomen and waited for the surefire response to her cessation of movement. Ahh, there it was, the quickening felt to Kate, like the flutters of a bird's wings. She remembered holding an injured sparrow once when she was young, it had been moving its wings franticly. The movements in her belly felt like that; irregular, ineffectual and eager to escape. Kate thought that it was ironic, finally she and the child or children (she closed her eyes at this thought and even prayed) that she bore were on the exact same wavelength. This jungle felt like a womb, it surrounded her, it felt like it was closing in and she was in desperation, the need to escape was overwhelming. Kate swallowed her panic again and began to forge her way towards the sea.

Panicking would not get her to Jack. Clear, deliberate steps, one foot in front of the other that is what would get her to him. Kate knew without a doubt that that was false. Jack was nowhere near this strange place that she found herself. This was Jacob's doing and the outcome here was not on her hands. At this reasonable conclusion of the completely unreasonable nature of her dilemma, Kate felt a new found freedom to concentrate on the safety of her own body and its precious cargo. Her internal compass shifted and she realized that her salvation was not in her own hands at this time but in Jack's. She would need to depend on him with his closer workings with this crazy, terrifying island to get to her.

She would concentrate on the task at hand, keeping her babies safe. When she got to the beach, if the ocean was still there, of course it had to be, didn't it? … Her mind comforted itself with the reasonable assumption that the sun was still in the sky therefore she should conclude that the ocean remained intact. If the ocean remained, she would find it and then sit down, rest and wait for rescue, she would wait for Jack.

* * *

Jack looked down at the little plane that had been so important to Kate that she had asked him to tell her where he had buried a dead body so that she could dig it up. When she asked him to tell her about the grave, he had had a profound need to know what she wanted and why. He had mistrusted her in those days. And when they had dug up the marshal's body he felt vindicated, angry and ultimately disappointed by the fact that she had lied to him about the key. But even then, Jack reminded himself, he should have known that she was lying not out of a desire to get guns or an opportunity to forge a corner of power, she had lied about a tiny little plane. Back then he had thought that the plane was just insignificant and it had stung his heart to think that she couldn't even give him that much. She couldn't even tell him about a damned little toy. Jack shook his head at himself as he spied the little object in his hand, the fact that she had lied about something that small and that personal had hurt him more than if she had wanted all the guns to take over the beach in some ridiculous revolution. He did not know Kate then as he did now. He had not known then that giving up the small choice secrets of her life was the hardest thing in the world for her to do. It reminded him once again that intimacy with Kate, the true intimacy of the heart that they shared was a rare thing, a gift given to few. He put the plane in his pocket, he would give it back to her, he would find her and put it back into her hand.

Jack forged his trail to the heart of the island. He remembered his direction from Bernard and Rose's fireside recounting of how Vincent had led them to him in the bamboo grove. Since his rescue and Kate's miraculous arrival he had come to be profoundly grateful for their intervention. Thanks to all of them, he had been given another chance at life, life with Kate. He would not let it go.

Jack raced through the jungle, his body surged with adrenaline as he passed through the trees and vines, the sight of them a blur in his haste. He tore through the vines with the bowey knife, cutting through the lush vegetation in a frenzy of vicious movement. The confining, grasping vines that blocked his path provided a perfect foil for his rage, which as the hours passed was becoming controlled and focused and deadly.

He began to see the first evidences of the bamboo grove. Hundreds of the straight knotted narrow trunks surrounded him and Jack stopped running. This was the place, the place where he thought that he would lie down for the last time. He had thought that his work was done, and indeed it had been but his life hadn't ended. What this grove symbolized to him now was the end of an era. It stood for the end of his obligation to this place. Now it was time for this place, this island to pay him back, to give him back what he wanted and needed. Kate.

Jack grabbed a narrow trunk of a bamboo tree and sat on his haunches and put his head down to rest, he took in great gulps of breath, he had been running at a steady pace for over two hours. The heart of the island was not far from here. Jack sincerely hoped that he would be able to find Hurley or even Ben. If the island had taken Kate, he hoped to god that they would be able to find out where. Jack decided to rest for just a moment, to restore his strength for the final leg of his search, he sat on the ground and with his back resting against the nearest trunk, he let his head sink back and he closed his eyes.

* * *

Hurley had been thinking deeply the last few days about how to break it to Ben that he wanted to check a few things out off of the island. He had not broached the subject yet because he felt that he still had a lot to learn about everything concerning his duties as Jacob. Before talking to Ben though, he wanted to collect his thoughts, Ben still intimidated him despite their close association and he really needed to be alone for a little while. With the advent of his new role he was learning to take joy in the beauty of the island now, something he had not really done in his time here before.

Hurley approached the bamboo grove without really noticing his surroundings, he was now thinking about Jack. He felt the strong wave of sadness that he always felt when he thought of him. Jack had been so alone at the end, so powerfully determined and convinced of the way forward. The world without Jack seemed a smaller place, less solid. Jack left a large hollow in Hurley's heart, one that no Jacob duties would fill.

"Hurley?" Jack instantly shot up to a standing position.

Hurley looked up and nearly fell over.

There was Jack, alive, standing in the middle of the little bamboo grove, as if he had never gone into the little grotto, as if he hadn't completely disappeared, as if he hadn't…died.

Hurley shook his head, well this wasn't a complete surprise, he was used to talking to dead people. But something felt a little different here, something wasn't quite the same. Jack just didn't look quite dead to him. Now that was a strange thought, since when did people who were dead give the impression while they were talking to him that they were dead. And since when did dead people like Jack start giving the impression that they were alive? God, this was confusing, Hurley was completely and totally flummoxed.

He let his mouth drop open and he stared, utterly unable to say a single word.

* * *

Kate fought her way through an opening in the trees to the beach. There was, the shore, the familiar ocean sounds provided her with a small modicum of comfort. She walked to the water's edge and peered into the sea. It was a relief to let her eyes focus farther than a branch a few inchs from her nose. She scanned the horizon and gasped in surprise.

A ship, a trireme.

Kate sank to the sand and closed her eyes, her mind refused to take in the sight, her body simply decided to shut down.


	21. Chapter 21

_**This one is for Stef, who has continually delighted me with her amusing comments and intelligent insights. Thanks, friend.**_

"Dude!" Hurley decided to forego his more complicated thoughts and to concentrate on the amazing sight in front of him. He lunged forward and enfolded Jack in a warm, all encompassing embrace.

Jack, returned the hug wholeheartedly, he knew without a doubt that if the island had nefarious plans in store for Kate, Hurley had nothing to do with it. The central fact about Hurley was his guilelessness; he was utterly pure in heart.

"Where have you been? You just disappeared! We just assumed you were..well…uhh, dead." Hurley stood back and eyed Jack, looking at him carefully, all the way up, all the way down. Then he shook his head vigorously, "No, you're not."

Jack knew of Hurley's penchant for seeing people who were no longer alive and it was his turn to shake his head. "No, Hurley, I am not dead. It's a long story, one that I don't have time to tell. But Hurley, I'm going to need your help. It's very important and I need you to listen to me."

Hurley noticed for the first time the knife stuck into the belt loop at the side of Jack's waist, and the desperation on his face.

Hurley nodded, "Anything, anything, man."

"Kate's gone." Jack let the two syllables drop. They fell, desolate and heavy.

"Jack I know, she left, she took Claire back, it was months ago, she's okay."

"No, she's here, and she isn't. She's been here, she's the one who saved me, her and Rose and Bernard. But she's not here now, she disappeared." Jack put his hand on the other man's shoulder. Jack swallowed hard and thought about how best to go about this, how not to lose any more time. He gathered his words, husbanding them carefully, so that each one would convey exactly what was needed efficiently with no dross.

"Hurley, I have reason to think that Kate is gone somewhere that only the island knows about. I do not know how to find her without its help." At this juncture Jack raised his eyes to meet Hurley's kind countenance. "She's pregnant, she's alone and she could deliver at any time, especially if she's injured. I have to get to her." Jack lowered his head, a new wave of fear rolled through him as he thought of her, god knows where, in the heart of darkness, readying herself for delivery. He let the fear in, as he had learned to do so many years before and directed its energies elsewhere, into the next moment's efforts.

Hurley was gob smacked.

Jack, Kate? He thought that was all over. As the new Jacob, he knew things about the island and thus about the world that others were not privy to, but he didn't know everything. He had a lot to learn and a lot more to see. He had known that there had been a brief hope for Jack and Kate. There had been a glimmer of light. But it had diminished and he had thought that it had finally passed when Jack had died. Their opportunity had been lost.

Or had it?

Jack was disappointed that Hurley did not seem to know where she was, he had thought that maybe his role as Jacob would give him some extra insight or at least an inkling as to her whereabouts. "Hurley, are you on the island alone? Is anyone else left?" Jack urged Hurley back into active response.

"Ben's here with me Jack. He helps me out, or I help him. I can't quite figure out which way it goes."

"Take me to him." Jack knew that Hurley had nothing to do with Kate's disappearance; he would trust him with his life. But he didn't trust Ben. Could he still be making power plays for the island?"

In answer, Hurley started walking out of the grove; he motioned for Jack to follow him.

"Hey Jack, this is gonna take a few minutes. Is it okay if I say something to you while we're getting there?"

Jack nodded grimly, he hated to rush Hurley but he was very anxious to get to Ben as quickly as possible. "As long as we keep walking Hurley."

"You remember when you said that you weren't, you know, cut out for the whole being with Kate and having a dozen babies kind of stuff?"

Jack gave him an impatient twist of his head, it was neither a nod or a shake, more of a disbelieving tilt. God, not this again, Hurley was still doing this high school stuff? Here? Now?

Hurley completely ignored Jack's disdain. "I don't like to say things like this to you. I mean look at you."

Hurley stood back and took in Jack's commanding presence; his face was streaked with sweat and covered with scratches, as if he had been tearing through the jungle for hours. He had several long gashes on his arms and his eyes were almost feral. He was festooned with odd and dangerous paraphernalia. Was that a coping saw in his belt? Well whatever it was, it looked sharp and deadly.

Hurley swallowed and did the brave thing. He told the truth. "But that's where you were dead wrong, man."

Here Hurley revealed his new authority and there was a gravity to his voice, its timber imparting a stir of significance. Jack noted it and looked up, paying careful attention to what Hurley said next.

"The whole movin' into a cave thing with Kate. Well Jack, you may not know it yet, but that's what you were born for."

It was Jack's turn to be surprised, the words reared him up and brought him to a complete halt. He turned toward Hurley but he was already moving on at full tilt, so Jack closed his mouth and followed.

Hurley trudged through the bamboo grove and out into a small meadow, he sat on a large boulder and waited for Ben.

Jack put his head down, he stood with his hands on his hips and waited. His impatience was mounting, he wanted nothing to do with the mysterious machinations of the island, but he knew that he would be forced to deal with it. He renewed his refusal to think about what he had been doing that morning. He once again deliberately cast aside the hope that he had had in the fuel, in the Cessna, the flight and what it meant, departure from all of this.

Jack took time to compose himself. He knew that his body had been tested throughout the day and he still had reserves, He was using these moments in the meadow to store up the energy and strength that he might need for his next challenge.

Jack's hands curled themselves into fists, he wanted badly right now to punch something, he supposed that was because Ben was coming.

Ben came into the meadow, looking as incongruous as he always did. He looked like a visiting accountant, assessing the various debits and credits of the island. All he was missing was a clip board.

He looked up, the only indication of surprise that he revealed was a slight widening of the eyes.

Jack could tell that Ben had taken in the sight of him and was tucking it away to put into the new algorithm that he was forming somewhere in the back of his mind, to factor into his current calculations. Somehow Jack always felt that everything for Ben had an algebraic component. He had an almost supernatural ability to reason. Ratiocination was his only true advantage, one that he played hard. The only time that Jack had ever seen Ben truly defeated was at the end, in the face of the island's dissolution.

Well if reason was the card that Ben played, Jack guessed that he himself was no slouch at that ploy. He was determined to match him logically, point for point. He had been trained in that area, his years of academia and surgical rigor had exercised his mind well. Jack looked at Ben again, measuring his body language; did he know something about Kate? Jack stayed quiet knowing that if he said anything that Ben would leap upon it, using Jack's words to his own advantage. To make new rabbit trails to hide behind and to force his will upon.

Jack would let Ben be the first to talk, he would let Ben draw out the first pawn.

"Jack, this is a surprise." Ben stayed about five feet away and looked him up and down, "you're looking better than the last time I saw you."

Jack swallowed his anger, he found Ben's cool demeanor to be infuriating. He knew that Ben was quite aware of his effect on him and was ready to pounce on it and to use his momentary lapse of emotional equilibrium to manipulate him in some way. So Jack forced himself to remain calm, he got right to the point, and moved out his queen.

"Where's Kate? What did you do with her Ben?" Jack said these words quietly and clearly, he didn't have time for Ben's games.

"It was time for her to go Jack, we all have to at some time. It was her turn. She never should have come to the island. Jack, you know that. You know that your work was done. Kate did what she always does. She interfered. She had to be stopped" Ben had his arms folded and he was resting them against his chest, he was utterly still and maddeningly composed.

Yes, Kate had interfered, Jack conceded that much.

Ben was trying to twist that, he was trying to make that sound like it had been wrong.

Kate had flown across the world at great cost to herself. She had faced almost certain death for him. Kate's interference had been performed out of love, not some distant, overarching farseeing kind of love. No, Kate's love had been intensely personal, her love had been just for him. She had interfered, just for him.

Jack swallowed hard, no one but Kate had ever focused so much of their heart's purpose toward him. He recalled that she had come back for him when he had stayed behind with the others. She had done this in spite of the fact that she knew that she might be killed. Kate had come back for him when he fought with whoever had taken over Locke's body on that cliff, she had saved him then.

Yeah Kate interfered; she always interfered, _for him_. In Jack's mind, logic, had no answer for this. There was no piece on the board to play against this move, it was time for a gambit.

Jack leapt forward and lunged at Ben, he grabbed him by the collar and pinned him to the ground and began pummeling him with his fists. Every blow was a clear answer to Ben's cold and infuriating narration of Kate's fate. Jack was so angry that he couldn't see, couldn't hear and couldn't even begin to imagine how he would ever stop until Ben was dead.

Hurley spread his legs and grabbed Jack by the shoulders and pulled at him until his greater weight toppled Jack by the force of leverage. Ben took the opportunity to roll over, shielding his face from further damage.

Jack whipped himself out of Hurleys' arms and leaned over Ben's cowering figure. "You will tell me where she is. You will tell me now or Ben, I swear I will kill you, I don't care if you are Jacob's right hand man or if you're Jacob. _It isn't her turn_." Jack said these last words bitterly, if it had been his turn before, Kate had seen to it that it hadn't been. And now he would see to it that it wasn't hers."

Ben responded as he always did when he was threatened physically, he was frightened and he kept his head shielded but Jack could tell that he was searching for a way out, a new lie that would give him an advantage in whatever new circumstances might arise.

Hurley spoke to Ben, "Did you know that Kate was on the island? Did you know that Jack was alive?"

Ben nodded at Hurley, it was impossible even for Ben to lie to him.

Hurley shook his head, he seemed at a loss. "You know that vital information would have changed everything. What were you thinking Ben?" Hurley seemed to grow larger somehow with each word. He had deliberately worn his role as Jacob lightly until now. At this time he began to discard the cloak of his unassuming personality that had been obscuring his powers.

"Ben, you knew what was in store for Kate and Jack. You knew what could have been and what ought to have happened from the very beginning. You comprehended the great loss that this place suffered at the end, when Jack died. You knew these things because I told them to you. And after all of that, you didn't consider it necessary to tell me that Jack was alive and that Kate was here? That was not cool, not cool at all"

At this point Hurley pulled out a small pitch pipe and blew into it, a faint, almost indecipherable sound came out, high and clear and sweet.

The color drained from Ben's face.

Jack looked over at Ben and noted that for the first time Ben revealed true fear. He looked confused and terrified, he couldn't decide what his next move would be. He couldn't seem to decide whether to be conciliatory or defiant.

Ben was checkmated.

Hurley dismissed Ben as a now unimportant encumbrance, and stood up from the rock that he had been sitting on. To Jack, Hurley seemed taller. Jack remembered handing the bottle of spring water to him. He remembered Hurley saying, "that's it?" his comment had briefly deflated the impossible pressure that had been mounting in Jack's spirit as he had approached the grotto. Hurley had provided a gentleness that Jack had needed. At this moment as well, Hurley provided exactly what was necessay, but it was not the soft nudge of his gentle nature, it was the commanding force of his new role as Jacob.

Hurley turned to Jack and waved in the direction of the beach. He seemed to have made a decision. "Jack, come with me."

* * *

Kate roused herself, she shook her head and tried to clear the sleep that had taken her so quickly. The hot, heavy air of the dense jungle had caused her to feel faint. She needed to find water as soon as possible.

Kate peered across the horizon again, there was no sight to be seen of the ship. Perhaps it had been a dream.

But no, there were specks in the water, darker areas that did not appear to be reflections of light or cloud shadows. They were objects. They almost looked like flotsam, cast across the surface of the water. Kate waited as it made its way to the shore.

Kate thought she heard a cry, a clear clarion call. It pierced the air for one brief moment. It sounded like a child's cry, it came from the water, just beyond the shore.

Kate braced herself onto her arms in what had become a familiar gesture, she lifted herself up and walked out into the sea.


	22. Chapter 22

_**If you wish to file any questions regarding time frame issues, historical ineptitudes or LOST contradictions, any and all technical difficulties will be filed and sorted by my administrative assistants. Please send your questions and or complaints along with a delicious treat or two to the Jack and Kate Offices, Fan Fiction Plaza and mark it Talisman- Urgent, Special Delivery (For those of you who don't like or even remember real mail, there is also a review box indicated at the end of the chapter which can also be utilized. Though the treats cannot be included with electronic submissions, they can be described, which for all of us with a taste for narrative, is nearly as good). After several duplications and summary abstracts, a response will be reviewed by our board. Rest assured, someone will be working mightily away at wikipe….I mean.. at our vast resource center to clarify matters.**_

Kate waded into the water, she scanned the surface frantically for the cry that drew her. It had sounded like someone was in trouble; it had been high pitched like a wail of a child or the scream of a woman. But now Kate could hear nothing. All she could see were boards and ropes and occasional pieces of barrels floating in the water around her. It was as if there had been a shipwreck or at least a ship that had jettisoned its cargo. There was no one in sight. She cautiously made her way forward into the water, and concentrated on listening for anything that didn't jive with the rhythmic pounding of the waves.

The surf began to swell and the tide was beginning to nip at Kate's waist. She turned to go back toward the beach but the force of the ocean made it difficult for her to move. Kate swallowed down a feeling of panic as she felt herself being sucked in by the current. The hook of the undertow clutched at her ankles and she struggled to remain upright. Kate felt herself being pulled in by the water, it tore at her torso now, her entire body was thrown off balance and she fell. She began to be drawn back, deep into the undertow; all of her senses were now subsumed by the ocean's depths. The only thing that Kate could perceive was the darkness of the water that surrounded her. Kate shook her head and forced herself to look up, she waited for her eyes to adjust and perceive the light that indicated the surface of the water. She realized that more was at stake here than her own survival, she had others within her care that were counting on her to save herself.

Kate forced herself not to flail. The pull of the water on her legs was strong but Kate straightened her arms and reached for a dark object that floated above her head, in the surface's now weak but apparent light. If she stretched just a bit further, her fingertips could grasp the edge of it. Time slowed for Kate and she felt her hands curl and take hold of the only hope she had. She got a firm grip upon it and pulled, straining with every muscle, away from the force of the water. Kate gathered her last vestige of strength and gave a mighty pull and her arms came up to rest upon the piece of blackened wood that meant salvation. She was not able to pull herself up and onto the wood, she was too cumbersome for that, but she could balance on it with her arms and rest her neck and head upon its surface. Kate allowed the makeshift raft to take her weight and she drifted with the surface waves and toward the shore.

* * *

Jack and Hurley pushed through the jungle to the beach. They were moving at a very fast pace. Hurley had little to say, he seemed to be concentrating on some interior monologue. Jack was hesitant to break his concentration, this was a side of Hurley that he had not seen before, was it possible that Hurley could help him? They headed north along the coast, as Jack looked around he saw a landmark or two that signaled that they were in the proximity of the original beach camp. Jack felt a wave of nostalgia at the sight of the familiar groupings of trees and rocks, no debris of habitation remained. It was as if the island had washed itself clean of any human mark. Jack recalled all of the people that had been left behind on this island, how many lives it had claimed. Nearly everyone that he had counted as a friend had died near here, Sayid, Charlie, Jin…Sun. The list was long and if they didn't hurry it would be longer, Jack began to feel a new urgency and it forced him to speak.

"I hope you know where you're going Hurley, because I sure as hell don't want to be taking a walk with you today. I know that you probably know this but I have to get to Kate, I have to get to her now, if there is anything you need to do or say please, Hurley, do it now."

Hurley stopped at a small cliff on the edge of the water and turned to Jack. "Jack, over these rocks we will find something that will help you to find Kate. I don't know how much damage Ben has done here by keeping everything to himself about you and Kate. Like I said before, I don't know a lot of things. Before, Jacob had a couple of thousand years to figure things out, and even he didn't know what to do all the time, I've been here for a matter of months. But I do know that I can't make things happen, I can only urge things, you know kind of like nudge things along. There are a few things that I can do to help you, and once we get over these rocks I'm gonna do 'em. Jack, this thing is going to be hard and like I said,I don't know if it's going to work because I have never done anything like this before."

Hurley began to scramble over some rocks, Jack followed, marveling as always, at Hurley's dexterity.

"Shit!" Hurley stood back and placed his hands on his knees and bent over shaking his head in disbelief at the sight before him. There was Kate's Cessna, wedged between the sky, the water and the jungle. Hurley would have laughed if it hadn't been here, if it hadn't been now.

"Yeah, shit is right, Hurley- Kate. Her landing here…" Jack let his words trail off, he didn't even know quite what he meant, didn't want to know now. Jack's frustration was starting to reassert itself, here he was practically back where he started. He just wanted to get on to the next thing, whatever hobgoblinny thing Hurley had in store for him.

"All right Jack, now that we are here, I am going to need you to listen and do exactly what I say for just a minute, then what ever you do is all your decision. Okay?"

Jack nodded, he was prepared to do any damn fool thing Hurley had in mind. If he needed to climb to the top of the Cesssa, and do an arabesque en pointe, he was ready.

"Jack" Hurley's hands remained on his knees and he peered full into Jack's eyes. We are here at this part of the beach because the island has some time and space issues. They are complicated."

"Hurley, I'm not here for a tutorial, and I don't really care about the island's magnetic forces or whatever the hell is wrong with it." Jack hated the thought that Kate had been caught by this place's strange proclivities, he was desperate for Hurley to finish, he needed to stop with talking and do something now.

"Jack, every word I am going to say to you now is necessary, you're just going to have to shut up and trust me about that. Now this place has this time and space thing going and it is possible sometimes for someone to get caught, an individual, not the whole island. That's what has happened to Kate. She moved, only in time not in space.

Jack heard Hurley, the words entered, he tried to refused them but they still came and dread filled his mind. The fact reverberated through him; Kate was absolutely elsewhere, as far as it was possible for a person to be, utterly unreachable. He felt his knees begin to give way, and he locked them, forcing his body to remain upright.

"The reason that we are here now Jack is this. This is _where_" Hurley placed extra emphasis on the last word and pointed at the plane, "I think that Kate is right now. I just have to help you get to the _when_. A lot of things happened a very long time ago, stuff I can't go into right now, things I wish that I knew more about, things that I have been learning about in the past few months. Well, it's pretty murky from my end but Kate had to do with it. I know this sounds crazy, Jack but Kate was here almost two thousand years ago, and now she's there again-two thousand years ago, I mean. There's a, what is it again? Yeah, a paradox involved here, one that's been in place a long time. It forced a wrinkle here on the island, I guess you could call it a wave of events and it's finally come to rest. But, Jack you can change things, you can find Kate, you can save her-she's not dead, not yet at least, that much I know for sure. You've got to get to her pretty fast now, and you better keep all of that stuff nearby," Hurley waved at Jack's variety of weapons, hanging from his waist. "because I do not know how long she'll stay that way."

Jack was almost beside himself with impatience, his every nerve was on edge. He stared at Hurley, waiting to be instructed. Hurley put his hand out, palm up.

"Jack, I'm going to need you to give it to me, the talisman."

"Hurley, what is a talisman?" Jack shook his head and balled his fists up and shoved them deep into his pockets, he was trying very hard not to punch Hurley, he had never had that urge before.

"The little plane, It's a kind of a special, weird thing. You need to hand it to me. It'll help you get to her, to Kate. But to do that you've got to give it to me. Now Jack, after you give it to me, you're going to have to look for her, she's going to be somewhere nearby. I can tell that- don't ask me how, I just can. Things are set into motion now, and don't ask me about that either, I just know that too. You and Kate, you're kind of different from most people." Here, Hurley looked at the Cessna again and smiled. "You got this thing going- it's called, oh I don't know, it's called volition I think- you know- choice- and once either of you exercises it, neither of you ever gives up. Something like that can change things, it can change them forever."

Jack felt the small plane in his hand. He pulled it out and looked at it, it felt somehow heavy in his hand. So this was the magical thing he had to do, he felt a small strange reluctance tugging at him but he refused it and pushed the tiny object into Hurley's waiting hand.

Hurley graspe the object tight wihin his fingers and looked up at Jack. "Now, go Jack. Go and find her."

* * *

Kate washed up to the shore, her body was past exhaustion now, she could barely lift her head to look around. She pulled herself slowly out and safely onto the sand. Only when she was completely free of the water did she allow herself to close her eyes and rest.

After sleeping briefly, Kate's throat woke her, it felt like fire. Kate drew herself to a semblance of a standing position, she needed to find some fresh water quickly. Inland, there had to be a spring or brook or even a lagoon somewhere. Kate walked back in the direction of the jungle, she hated to even contemplate entering into that verdant entanglement, but she needed to drink.

She spied a rock outcropping that looked like it could have a creek cut into it. Yes, there was a small stream. Kate stooped to her knees and took the first drink that she had had in many hours. It soothed her throat and the satisfaction was so acute that she closed her eyes and moaned in relief.

Kate opened her eyes and looked closely into the stream; she could not be seeing what was clearly before her. Dappled in the surface of the stream was a reflection superimposed above her own, coming from the opposite bank. Kate reared back and cried out; she felt a strange mingling of memory and terror at the sight.


	23. Chapter 23

_**If you have been suffering for the past few chapters, you are not alone, so have I. Let's see what we can do about that.**_

_Kate opened her eyes and looked closely into the stream; she could not be seeing what was clearly before her. Dappled in the surface of the stream was a reflection superimposed above her own, coming from the opposite bank. Kate reared back and cried out; she felt a strange mingling of memory and terror at the sight_.

"Well, hello Kate. I thought that I might see you here. You looked like you were enjoying yourself; these waters are very pure, there's a virgin spring straight up the mountain." The reflection motioned with a casual wave vaguely up toward the source of the stream.

He leaned down and rested for a moment on his haunches and tilted his head. "Are you okay? It's been hard going for you getting here I would imagine." He stood up and slid his hands together briskly as if dusting them off, readying himself for his next task. "Come with me."

Kate didn't move, she found herself without words, struck dumb by the anomaly front of her.

Ben?

His presence here verged on the ridiculous. If she had not known Benjamin Linus, the sight of him would have been almost comforting. His prim demeanor indicated that he would like nothing more than to get a rag and start sponging off the jungle trees of their accumulated dust. Kate half expected him to drag out a plate of muffins and a French press that he had secreted in the heart of a Banyan and lay a table for breakfast, or considering the position of the sun, high tea.

The sight of Ben however, was anything but comforting. Ever since her first encounter with him, her response to him had always been wary. He was a puzzle to Kate, a kind of living, breathing liar's paradox. The only thing that she could count on with Ben was that she could not trust him.

For the moment, Kate decided that the safest thing for her to do was to ignore his presence. She was not all together unprepared for her journey to take a strange direction, all of her bearings were off kilter. She had no real compass points established in her mind to mark her whereabouts. Kate slowly looked around, she did not limit herself to a full glance horizontally, she also looked up at the sky directly above her and at the ground at her feet. She was franticly seeking any sort of familiar sight, anything that would help her to get back home. Home, Kate shook her head, really that meant only one thing, Jack.

"No one is here Kate. I'm afraid that it is just you and me." Ben put out his hand in invitation; he did not seem particularly invested in her acceptance of it. It was a formality, an indication of his wishes, no more. "I need you to come with me."

Kate felt a deep, sharp downward draw in her abdomen; she could not describe it as a pain exactly, more like a heavy compression. It stopped her, she could not move.

Ben looked at her closely and shook his head. Oh, it's starting, is it? You should have come to me more quickly, Kate. You never have been particularly compliant." Ben smiled ruefully at his memories of past dealings with Kate. "I know you're tired, I know it's difficult, but there is nothing for it. My getting here was no picnic either. I had to scurry through a rabbit hole of sorts. I was very surprised that you made it this far, wasn't expecting to see you this far at all. You are remarkably tenacious. We will have to time our short journey to coincide with the breaks between your pains. I don't think that you have any choice. Come."

Kate had not said a word yet. She stood up readying herself to walk in the opposite direction, away from Ben. She was trying to reel her thoughts into a semblance of coherence. This was truly island doings, manipulations beyond her reason. She shook her head in confusion, and paused a moment to rip a tiny scrap from the hem of her garment, she held it close in the palm of her hand. She hoped fervently that Ben would not see her slight motion. She knew that she might find herself delivering soon, surrounded by this dense jungle and in the company of the last person she would have expected or desired. She worked hard to get her thoughts in order, she knew that it was impossible for her to get herself mentally ahead of Ben, his nimble mind had bested those who were way ahead of her. She reckoned on her ability to give him nothing, to reveal as little as she could about her feelings or thoughts. Her body however, would not comply. She lost her footing as a contraction over took her, it was sudden and strong. It crossed the line into pain and Kate cried out involuntarily.

"So you are not completely mute." Ben crossed the creek and put his arm around Kate's shoulders and waited for her pain to pass. When it had taken its course, Ben pulled Kate's body up and helped her to walk into heart of the jungle.

* * *

Jack did a slow three sixty, the light had made an almost imperceptible change, the air seemed heavier, and the scent was strong, a moist, pungent odor, like a wet, untended green house. The Cessna was gone, it had vanished in an instant, or perhaps he had, the shift had been confusing. Jack took a quick inventory of his own body and of his surroundings once more. He felt the same, his scratches remained, all the items connected to his person were still there, the gun, the knives, the saw. The ocean was the same, the sun remained at the same angle as before, it was late afternoon, the clouds were different though, the wind was different, the humidity level and temperature, both different. Jack listened keenly, he couldn't hear anything that indicated Kate's presence, if she was near, she was silent.

Jack began to think again like the tracker that he had become. His first instinct was to look at the sand for any marks of disturbance. Here he found a mass of debris that looked like jettisoned cargo. There were ropes and crates and large pieces of broken wood spread across the beach, they were recent arrivals, close to the incoming waves and still damp. Jack pressed his hand into a particularly large, flat piece of wood and he bent down to look more closely at the sand around it. Did he see a foot print? No, it was more like a body print, it appeared to be a faint outline of a prone body. Jack measured it with his eyes, somewhere between five and six feet. Could Kate have lain here? Jack closed his eyes tight at the thought of her lying there, had she collapsed? Where was she now? Jack searched franticly for footprints. Ahh there were some. They were confusing and a bit tangled. Some which sank his heart went directly into the sea, others which gave him some reason to hope went in the direction of the jungle. Jack decided to follow the prints that led into the ocean first. He looked hard, peering across the great ark of the horizon looking for any disturbance over the grey blue water. He could detect nothing but the rhythmic pounding of the surf. Jack looked once again at the prints; the freshest went in the direction of the jungle. Though they were erratic and disturbed by the wind, Jack was able to follow them.

They took him to a brook, here he hit pay dirt. The ground was quite disturbed on both sides of the bank. Jack knelt and looked closely at the prints on the nearer side. They were small and unshod; the indentation they made indicated that whoever left them had remained still there for some time. Jack crossed the brook and inspected the other set. They were not the same, not at all. They were shod, Jack shook his head, they were left by some type of shoe and significantly larger than the prints on the opposite bank. They led deeper into the dank and overgrown jungle.

Jack followed them for quite some time, as he pierced the interior of the forest, the prints became obscured by the vegetation. He scanned the ground hard, and wondered how he would proceed if he lost the trail. Just then his eyes lit on a foreign object, it was a rose color, was it a scrap of fabric? It looked like the material of Kate's dress. Jack smiled wide, he couldn't remember ever having seen a more welcome sight.

Jack's thoughts came in a rush, he addressed them to the air, to the very thought of Kate leaving that crimson clue. _- At a girl, oh you haven't lost heart, you're still thinking, you're still hoping, you're still moving. God- stay that way, Kate, stay that way, I am coming, now I know what direction to take- _Jack went further with a reivigorated heart.

* * *

Ben and Kate came to a small clearing in the interior of the jungle. Kate's pains were coming at a faster pace, less than two minutes apart. She remembered helping Claire with her delivery all those years ago. Kate knew that it couldn't be long now. She stopped and let her legs collapse, she would go no further, it simply wasn't possible.

"Kate, as I remember, you never were one for much conversation, but today you are carrying it to extremes. Not a word yet, I could almost feel hurt by it. But I will waive it because of your condition, I would imagine that women in labor are never particularly chatty. Ahh well, I think I'll start a fire, luckily I remembered enough to bring sufficient equipment for that." Ben pulled a Bic lighter out of his pocket and smiled, "Funny how I can bring a little thing like this 2000 years into the past. This place never ceases to amaze me."

Kate was in a momentary lapse between contractions and her ears pricked upon hearing this.

"Two thousand years?"

"She speaks! Yes Kate, you moved in time. Pretty remarkable huh?"

Ben's steady almost cheery demeanor so infuriated Kate that she almost forgot her condition. She tried to rise but she collapsed again, only to be wracked with another stronger pain.

Ben looked at her; he supposed that he would need to assist her somehow. He was pretty sure that she wouldn't survive this birth but it was possible that the baby would, he amended his thought, babies. Really one would do, that was all he really needed.

Ben thought about what had occurred with Hurley and Jack back in the clearing. He had had a lucky break, Hurley had underestimated him as usual. There were great advantages to having someone as innocent as Hurley in the Jacob role. It was beyond Hurley's experience to understand the lengths that Ben would go to for the island. This place was the only thing that Ben had ever really known, and with the replacement of the stone and the hand off of protection to Hurley, Ben had remained. He was aware of what had happened two thousand years ago at the birth of the twins, one of whom would grow to be Jacob and the other…dead now and replaced.

Hurley was careful to share some of the stories that came to him through the powers that accompanied his office. Ben likened the office of Jacob to an ancient priestly role. Jacob was a kind of high priest for the island. Ben saw himself as a bishop of sorts, a kind of chief assistant to Jacob. He helped out in an ecclesiastical sort of way. That was what he was doing now. He was assisting Hurley and thus the island, even though Hurley did not know it. His assistance this day would be of a sacrificial nature. Kate would have to be the sacrifice that the island required, too bad, but there it was.

Ben looked at her, she was in the midst of a fierce contraction, he could see that she was stoically controlling her pain, breathing with it and allowing it to pass through her. Kate was a remarkable woman, and she needed to be stopped.

Kate's return to the island and rescue of Jack was a deal breaker. It was the kind of thing that shouldn't happen, but it did. Jack had been destined to die, Kate should not have come. It had been essential that she not be here again, she had to deliver on the mainland for the island's past to maintain its equilibrium. Her arrival and Jack's fate were making it possible that everything could shatter. Every last occurrence in the past two thousand years of history could change because of the woman lying in pain before him.

Ben knew that Kate had been here before, some strange wrinkle had allowed that to happen. In the past she had not survived this birth, her babies had though and the island remained under their protection for many years. Ben had to see to it that Kate did not survive this birth today. If she lived, if Jack lived; their children would perhaps make different choices, the island would be fundamentally changed. This could not happen, the island needed to be protected; it had to be determined by forces under strict control. The course of the twin's lives had seen to it that it had been. They along with the mysterious woman who raised them set the course of the island's central and mysterious nature. They had been stuck, they had not been allowed to determine their fate and thus the island's fate had been safe.

Ben had thought that with Jack's final act and Kate's exit with Claire that he could finally rest easy. Kate's return to the past on the island would not occur, but he had been wrong. Here she was. Could it possibly be that she was being directed somehow? Could it be that Jacob had somehow made a move to help her to come back? Had Jacob tried to change the course of his own fate? The course of the island's fate? Had he found a new loop hole? Ben couldn't see that, Hurley was Jacob now and it wasn't difficult with his superior reasoning powers to stay ahead of him. Or was it?

Ben heard a rustle of leaves behind him. He turned around and saw nothing. Ben put his hands on his knees and bent over and forced himself to breath slowly and evenly. He was getting nervous and twitchy, he was imagining things, no one could be here, it wasn't possible. At least it was highly improbable; it was hard to say what was impossible on the island.

Ben approached Kate and looked at her quizzically. "Kate? I want you to know that it is highly unlikely that you will survive this, and I also want you to know that it is my sincere wish that you do not. It's nothing personal mind you, as a matter of fact I think that you are an admirable person. It's actually a shame that you are so close to the end, you're still young. If you had not returned it is possible, I don't exactly know to tell you the truth, but it is possible that you could have survived this delivery and gone on to live a long and perhaps, happy life. But Kate, you came back here to the island, and even worse you came back to this time and for that you just can't be allowed to live any more. I am sorry for that, but it can't be helped."

Kate looked up at him, at first her face showed it's normal visage for him. Stubborn and determined refusal but slowly Kate's face changed. It softened somehow, it crumpled and became awash with relief. What was it that Ben saw reflected in her features, was it joy?

Kate looked up at Ben, she couldn't really understand his words, her every instinct was on high alert to the birth that would happen at any time. Her body was taking over her mind and all of his words were disconnected and unclear. She wasn't sure if she could believe what she saw behind Ben, but she would respond, because if it wasn't real then it was the most beautiful fantasy that she could imagine.

Because the person that she saw standing behind Ben, was Jack.


	24. Chapter 24

_**This one is for Mystic, a truly inspiring writer.***_

Jack heard the words that Ben spoke and his response was immediate. He clasped the outside edges of Ben's narrow shoulders between his hands and lifted him high into the air and flung him violently to the side. Jack did not even turn to look where he had landed. Ben was cast aside in order to attend to a far more pressing concern. Kate.

The sight before him filled him with conflicting emotions; tenderness, pity, pride and raw fear. Jack did not try to sort out his feelings, instead he bent close to her and placed his hand upon the side of her face and whispered in her ear. "I'm here, Kate. "

Kate looked at him, her eyes were glazed with pain, but upon hearing his words she attempted to smile. All that she was able to produce was a slight tilt to her chin, revealing her one imperfection. To Jack, it was her greatest beauty. He closed his eyes, forcing back his tears, he didn't allow himself to linger.

He sat up straight and assessed Kate's situation; he could tell that she was in active labor. He harkened back to his days in residency. Jack began to organize the procedures that he had been reviewing in his mind repeatedly for the past seven months.

"Kate, I'm going to need to examine you, we will wait for this contraction to pass." Jack watched Kate as she allowed the pain to wash through her. He found himself breathing with her, for her. He could almost feel the force of her pain within his own body. When it passed, Jack parted her legs and began his exam, he was quick and exceedingly gentle, he knew that it would be very uncomfortable for her. She was nearly 8 centimeters dilated, definitely in transition, but her water had not broken yet. Jack fervently hoped that it would break on its own accord and soon; he didn't have anything sterile to do it with. If it didn't break, it would hold things back and lengthen her delivery which could be dangerous. Jack thought quickly about what to do.

"Kate, I'm going to help you to stand up, you're going to have to do something for me, its important." Kate looked at him in near disbelief but made a movement to rise anyway. Jack placed his arm around her shoulders and guided her upright. She nearly fell into him, another powerful contraction gripped her. Jack felt the muscles in her abdomen become rigid with its force. Kate began to take short puffy breaths.

"That's right, you're doing it just right, let's wait and then we'll try to move. Kate, put your arms on my shoulders and rest all of your weight against me, see if you can just hang down." Jack bent over and helped Kate to lean fully into him, she rested her head against his neck and allowed herself to be fully draped across his chest, and then he straightened himself just slightly, bringing Kate nearly off the ground. Jack was hoping that the force of gravity would allow Kate's water to break.

"Jack, I think…" Kate wasn't able to finish her sentence, a new contraction was beginning. Jack felt moisture on Kate's garment as it was released from the amniotic sac. He silently blessed the laws of physics and waited a moment before he spoke "Kate, I'm sorry but in the next respite you are going to have to move one more time, I think it might be time to push, but I have to check first, so wait with me babe, it'll be okay."

Jack didn't know who he was reassuring, Kate or himself. They waited the next wave out together and Jack laid her down, prone upon the ground with perfect tenderness. He lifted her legs and parted them, the baby was crowning. He could see the head, "Kate, it's time- push. Remember how we talked about this. Don't hold your breath, breathe out."

Kate remembered, with one exhale and a loud groan she pushed with all of her might. Jack crouched, poised and ready, there it was, the head was out. Jack leaned in and with a flick of his finger he cleared the mouth. Oh thank God, there was no obstruction, the shoulders followed..a baby.. a boy. Jack swallowed a feeling of deep elation, and received the vernix covered infant. He lifted it close to his chest and checked for color, not blue, he gave its foot a slight pinch, and the baby responded with a short, sharp cry.

Jack looked down at Kate who waited with outstretched arms. Jack reached down and with one hand he separated the folds of fabric that covered Kate's chest and he placed the child next to her heart.

"A boy" Jack let the two words drop, they held a wonder in their simple sounds. Jack knelt beside Kate and let his hand rest upon the baby's back, Kate's hand joined his and they held the new life together.

"Try to let his body lie fully against you, Kate, it will be as good as any blanket or hospital isolette, if you are as skin to skin as possible. I need to check you and you need to know that this isn't over."

Kate nodded at Jack. She held the infant close to her chest and rested, waiting for the next wave. Jack took off his shirt and ripped it down the sides creating two makeshift blankets.

The next wave came, Kate let out a deep moan and she held her infant close while she felt it come; sudden and strong. She remembered not to hold her breath and she bore down, deep and steady.

"The other one is coming, Kate. You're doing well, just push." Kate could barely hear Jack, she felt a distant roaring in her head, it sounded like the ocean had, all consuming. She saw a wave of color before her eyes, red hues and gold and then sweet release. "It's crowned, Kate here it is, it's here." Jack once again, flicked the mouth with a deft wave of his finger. The second boy slipped out, Jack received it into his waiting arms. This one did not need any encouragement to cry, it wailed lustily.

Jack retrieved the other infant and wrapped it in its t shirt blanket and placed the second child on Kate's waiting chest. Kate held it in her shaking arms while Jack's large hand steadied and stabilized her grasp.

"Jack. You're here, we're all here." Kate breathed the words and reached for the other child, her hands had steadied and she held them close, while Jack helped her to arrange them both, readying them to suckle at their mother's breasts.

Ben had been biding his time and had watched the incredible scenario play itself out in the clearing before him. He found himself holding his breath as the events unfolded. He was almost caught up in the beauty of it; Jack's singular combination of tender solicitude and carefully measured efficiency, Kate's strength and stoicism and strangely enough given her ridiculously prideful behavior with himself, her humility. Together they created a complex dance of sorts, like a quadrille performed by just two. Ben hated to interrupt it, but the children had been born after all and it was almost his moment.

Ben waited, counting under his breath; for the moment that Kate would find herself in pain again. Surely the placenta would have to be birthed and Jack would be indisposed for the moment, seeing to the safety of Kate's final stage. 23, 24, 25; Ben continued to count, ahh, there it was, Kate winced in pain and Jack leaned in.

Jack switched his mind from the glory before him, a sight he had never thought to see, and turned to the immediate tending of Kate's body. The afterbirth had come, just as he had hoped keenly for; a simple and complete final delivery. Jack spoke quietly revealing only to a small extent his vast relief, not wanting to disrupt the utter calm that reigned in the clearing. "Kate, this is good, everything looks perfect, no complications. I think…."

Ben utilized the moment well and he pounced, silently and swiftly.

"Jack! No!" Jack started, Kate's sharp cry interrupted his perineal examination. His first impulse was to look more closely, had he missed something, what was this new source of pain? But his immediate glance at Kate, changed his mind. She was looking beside him, horror not pain was written upon her face.

Jack turned, just soon enough to deflect the blade of a small utility knife, poised just below his ear, skillfully aimed to slice the jugular. The point turned and caught him in the chin, on the bone, deep but not dangerous. Jack reared back, he had almost forgotten about Ben, he shouldn't have.

Ben jumped backwards, momentarily unharmed; he used the moment to regain his composure. He looked calmly at his blade and shook his head, he wiped it calmly on the grasses at his feet and folded it neatly and placed it firmly into his pocket. He knew that his opportunity had passed him by, violence would only work if he caught Jack by surprise. It had been a chance at best. He had not counted on Kate being able to concentrate on so much at once, twins, third stage labor and himself, nor had he counted on Jack's quick reflexes. He almost whistled in admiration.

Jack reached for Ben. He grabbed him by the collar and drew his face near to his own. Dangerously near, his blood flowed onto Ben's face, marring his neat visage; it satisfied Jack deeply that it should do so.

"I have heard every word that you have said, Ben. I don't know and I don't care about what you have against Kate or me for that matter, it's unimportant. You Ben, have done enough. It stops now." Jack drew the nine millimeter out from the waistband of his pants, and poised it at Ben's temple. Jack began to put pressure upon the trigger.

"Jack, wait." It was Kate. Jack let go of the trigger keeping a firm grip on Ben. "Jack, Ben said something on the way here, something that we need to know more about. Please Jack, wait."

"Well Kate, I'm flattered." Ben swallowed his fear, his voice only revealed a trace of the terror that had washed through him moments before. "I didn't think that you were listening to me. I made an ungenerous judgment of you. I thought that you didn't care."

Jack tightened his grip on Ben's neck. He felt mingled rage and hate gorge at his own throat, it had a bitter taste.

Kate addressed her words to Ben, the next moments were essential; Ben held the key to their return to their own time, to _their_ island, to Rose and Bernard. "Ben, you mentioned something about coming through a rabbit hole to get here."

"Wait, Kate." Jack needed to proceed cautiously now. Ben was cunning and would circle around to take advantage of anything that either of them might say. "Let me secure him and then we can talk."

Jack looked around the clearing; there was only one thing to be done. Jack kept his gun aimed directly at Ben's head and did not let go of his neck but pulled Ben in closer to himself. When he was pulled in very close, Jack shifted his feet and stepped upon Ben's stomach, pinning him to the ground, lying on his back. He nodded at Kate and tossed his saw upon the ground. Jack reached over to Kate and took a handful of her rose colored garment in his fist. He pulled on it gently and knotted it tightly, careful not to disturb the twins now sleeping on her chest. He lifted the saw and cut just behind the knot. His surgeon's fingers made it fast work, the knot was unraveled and the fabric divided into three rags. Jack kept his gun trained on Ben throughout his machinations and his foot maintained its pressure. Jack took the rags and with one hand secured Ben's hands, feet and most importantly his mouth.

Only then did Jack speak. "There, now we can talk."

"Ben you will tell Kate what she wants to know. You will limit your words to information only. It will be my decision whether you will live or die. You gave up the right to that choice when you decided that Kate's life did not matter, that it was inconvenient to you and whatever purposes you serve. That was a fatal error, Ben, because in that you were wrong. Kate matters, she matters to me, more than anything. If you can help her, you will live, if not, no. It's pretty simple."

Jack looked down at Benjamin Linus, he didn't think that he had ever truly hated someone before, even before in his final dealings with whatever force had taken over the body that had been Locke's, he hadn't really hated. Then he was contending with forces larger than himself, he had been like a piece to a giant puzzle, his course had been set and determined by his allegiance to, what had it been exactly, the island? Perhaps not, it had been an allegiance to light as opposed to darkness. Here at this moment in this clearing, everything was different. This was close; this thing had to do with just him and his own. It was personal.

Jack turned to Kate, the infants were sleeping. He knew that they would sleep long and hard now. He wished that Kate would be able to join them in their rest. Soon, there would be opportunity for that, very soon.

"I want to know where the rabbit hole is." Kate knew instinctively what Jack wanted, he wanted her to use as few words as possible, stated clearly. She delivered.

Jack replaced his foot with his knee on Ben's stomach. He leaned down into Ben's face, still allowing his own blood to drip down from his chin, splashing into Ben's eyes. He shoved the gun into Ben's neck, pinching it with the metal snout. "I will remove the rag from your mouth, you'll answer and quickly and completely, and then you'll shut up." Jack pulled the rag down from Ben's mouth.

"It's behind us, in the heart of a Banyan. If you will allow me.."

Jack put the rag back over Ben's mouth. "Ben, Kate is going to rest now. After a little while you will show us the way out of here and get us to there, I guess that isn't quite right..You'll show us the way out of now and get us to when." Jack shook his head and kind of wished he had a gag for himself.

Kate laughed, Jack put his head down and looked over at her, she had actually laughed. They looked at each other and at the twins resting peacefully and in spite of everything, Jack smiled.

_***Note to Mystic: If you ever read this, which I doubt, I hope you do not mind my associating you with this story in any way. If so, I will edit the dedication immediately. **_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Let's see if we can get a little closer to wrapping this thing up.**_

Jack held his chin tight, the bleeding had slowed and he hoped that further pressure would stop it completely.

He stood and looked at the two opposing figures at his feet.

On the one hand there was Ben, bound and gagged. Jack wished that he could bind more than Ben's hands, feet and mouth. He would like to be able to tie his mind up and disable his vast repertoire of plans within plans, each backing up or preceding the next. Transpositioning was Ben's unique specialty

On the other hand, there was Kate, the almost perfect antonym for Ben. Where he planned and repositioned, she moved. Her unique ploy was the blitzkrieg, it often failed, actually quite frequently, but she had had at least two triumphs. She knew her weakness; she did not attempt to play the positioning game. Jack wondered where that left him, somewhere in between? More to the point, what would be the winning game? Jack rubbed his hand on the back of his head and worked the problem.

Jack was tired of being a pawn; he knew what Ben wanted of him. For some reason Ben wanted him dead. That flick of his knife had been carefully aimed and serious. It was an assassin's move, not one that he would have expected of Ben. Jack really wondered just what it was that Jacob wanted with them and why Ben was so intensely opposed to it.

Why had Kate been forced to come back to _now_ from _when_. Here Jack chose to put a fine point upon it; _when_, with its utter lack of definition was a perfect word choice for the place they had come from_. _Jack shook his head; he wished he had Daniel's notebook with him so that he could keep track of all this. If Kate had been pulled back here, then what would they experience later or earlier?

God only knew, knows or will know.

Jack smiled inwardly at this ridiculous tangle of tenses.

Anything that might happen in their own time would not necessarily be the same. Jack wondered. Were they even going to be able to get back there? To be there? What was a rabbit hole, anyway?

Jack suddenly realized that he wasn't just tired of the island's manipulations. He was just plain tired

The twins could sleep, he knew, for up to ten hours, It was that first post-birth sleep marathon that infants experience. It should be the time for Kate to rest and recover, but Jack knew that it wouldn't happen. They would have to move sometime very soon. He could not watch Ben forever, it was too dangerous and he was far too fatigued himself. The kind of weariness that he was experiencing led to mistakes.

Jack stood up and walked in a small tight circle, he suddenly knew his solution; he knew the pion coiffé, the way for pawns like Kate and himself to win. Jack would give Kate one more hour, then they would have to move.

Through the god-damned rabbit hole.

About three hours later, Jack nudged Ben with his foot. Kate was standing, wobbly on her feet but vertical. Jack noticed that in addition to holding them tightly in her arms, she had the twins secured to her chest with some extra folds of her ridiculous garment. He shook his head and glanced at Ben, bound and gagged with the fabric of the thing; perhaps it was not so ridiculous after all. Jack hoped fervently that Ben's flying phone booth or whatever the hell it was, wasn't far, Kate couldn't walk for long.

Kate moved in close to Jack and leaned in, she spoke in a low voice, not wanting Ben to overhear, "Jack, no matter what happens next, you need to know something."

Jack looked at her, dread was written on his features. "Is it something Ben did earlier Kate?"

"No Jack, it has nothing to do with him." Kate shook her head vehemently. "I just want you to know that I did not mean to come here, I am not sure exactly what happened, but I was picking fruit and well, Jacob showed up. Yeah, the old one." Kate smiled with a weary shrug, "He asked me to give him that little plane so I did and here I am."

"I saw your prints, Kate. Did you go in the water?" Jack wasn't sure exactly why he asked, he regretted it the minute he had. The last thing she needed to be feeling was defensive.

"Yeah, I did Jack, I heard a cry from the ocean, I had to look, I had to at least try." Kate chose not to divulge all of the details, she was safe, that was all that needed to be known. She began rocking on her feet, soothing the stirring babies strapped to her chest.

Jack reached down and placed his hand upon Kate's tangled hair and smoothed it with his fingers. When would they finally be able to rest, to stop this? Something about the cry in the ocean was niggling at his mind, there was a connection there that needed to be made, but he couldn't quite make the leap. Jack shook his head and dismissed it for now.

"We'll have to move Kate, lean against me whenever you can. I wish I could carry the babies but I may need to deal with Ben and I do not want them or you in harm's way. Jack leaned in and placed his forehead upon Kate's and whispered low. It was time to place their move, a pragmatic rush. "The only way that we are going to get Ben to cooperate is if we work together. As soon as I unbind his feet, he is going to try something. We can't predict what that will be but I need you and I to have a signal of some kind that he can't interpret, in case either of us sees that the other is in some kind of jeopardy. A word would be best."

Jack looked down at the two nestled heads below his chin, safe for now. He dipped his head and kissed each one gently; he breathed in their newborn scent and closed his eyes. Never had he felt such urgency, such a clear mandate for action. At all costs these children must be preserved and protected. He looked up and into Kate's eyes, she felt the same, they were in perfect accord.

They had experienced danger together before. This was a new path for both of them though, they had always been on two roads, going in two different directions. They met at times, those crossroads had been the sustenance they needed to carry on, each with their respective journeys. But now things were different, now they were on the same road. Now they wanted and needed the same thing. Jack looked up and caught Kate's eyes once again, she nodded once, a long, slow bob and she mouthed a single word, "_five." _Jack nodded, turned and unbound Ben's feet, they were ready to go.

Ben rose slowly, he had been in tight spots before but at this moment he felt pinned. He needed to get rid of these two; he could not oppose them successfully if they worked in tandem. He had always had success in the past at keeping them parted. Ben recalled his past efforts at separation.

At first their divergent places in the world had been enough to distance them. Jack, a well respected doctor, Kate with a shady criminal past, Ben really hadn't thought that there would be anything to worry about. Who would have ever imagined that Jack would be able to look over such a gulf and see Kate's intrinsic value? Ben hadn't counted on that. Then there was Kate's fervent desire to stay on the beach and Jack's stubborn insistence on moving to the caves. At that point Ben had sincerely hoped that the survivors would create two opposing camps, but it hadn't played out that way. His next hope had been Sawyer, and his connection with Kate and the jealousy it caused. The departure of the raft had foiled that plan. Ben stopped that raft, ostensibly to collect Walt, but that had hidden the true agenda. Ben wanted Sawyer back, it had almost worked, but not quite. The connection between Jack and Kate was too strong. He had needed to personally intercede, thus his own arrival in the person of Henry Gale. Jack's distraction and Sawyer's presence had almost worked, but there Ben almost overplayed his hand. The increasing danger to the survivors brought consort to Jack and Kate's actions.

They were like two magnets, it was intensely frustrating.

Their internment with his own people had been his greatest attempt at tearing them assunder, he thought that he had achieved success with Kate's departure and Jack's impending release. He had been sadly mistaken. His greatest attempt had backfired and it had been the catalyst for the couple's most triumphant moment of connection.

It had been a long game with an elusive pattern and this final act of birth was what Ben had been attempting to avoid all along. Ben felt almost hopeless at this point. He could always play against them separately but the two of them in consort put him in an untenable position.

There was only one way to prevent his king from going down, he would have to end the game in a stalemate.

Ben was cashed in, he would not be able to kill them, not with both of them on the defense now, he also knew that he would not be able to dissuade them. Jack was determined to find the answer to Kate's question and he would find a way. There was only one thing that Ben could possibly do, it meant his own demise but perhaps a small portion of his vision for the island could be saved. He could prevent Jack and Kate from finding the way back, he had kept his knowledge of the rabbit hole a secret, even from Hurley. Perhaps Jack and Kate would meet an untimely death and the twin's lives would fall in line with their predestined pattern. Ben would have to let go and let fate decide.

As soon Ben's feet were unbound, he ran.

Jack looked up, shocked at this turn of events. He shot a glance in Kate's direction, nodded and took off after him. Ben was going uphill, straight for the tops of the cliffs that lined the island's coast just to the north. Jack followed fast and hard, damn, he didn't know that Ben could run like that and he had the jump on him.

As quickly as Ben had started, he stopped; at the edge of a ninety foot cliff.

Ben looked at him, hopeless desperation and fierce determination mingled on his features.

"Goodbye Jack." Ben folded his arms across his chest, released his foothold upon the edge of the cliff and fell.

Jack walked forward and peered over the edge, he saw Ben's broken body resting below. Jack rested his hands upon his knees and closed his eyes once again adjusting himself to this dizzying pattern of events.

He turned around and headed back to Kate.

What he saw in the clearing was confusing and heartening at the same time.

Kate was still standing in the same spot, swaying subtly in a gentle rhythm, chin down, whispering words of quiet comfort to the twins. Behind her stood the massive figure of Hurley, beaming with pride and joy.

Upon hearing his footfall, Kate looked up at Jack and like a sunrise, relief spread across her features. It felt to Kate like she had been holding her breath since he had gone. Whatever in her mind that had been at a swift tilt since Jack's departure, stopped, clicked and found its place of rest.

Hurley waved his right hand, clasped within it and dwarfed by his broad fingers, was the tiny plane, the talisman. He looked up at Jack, "Hey dude we've been waiting for you, I think everything is finally ready. Come on, let's go back."

As Jack approached and took Kate's hand, Hurley placed his arm over Jack's shoulder and then pulled Kate and the boys under his other arm. The three of them stood in the small clearing, surrounding the twin boys in the loving circle of their embrace…and vanished.

**_Authors Note: This chapter is not what you might think, it is not a dish of revenge served up cold for Darlton for their constant separations of or protagonists. No, it is a playful tweak. I have always loved their writing of and amazing use of Ben as (I think) the stand in for themselves, I'm just spinning it a little for my own, and I hope the story's, advantage._**


	26. Chapter 26

_**For Yas, whose kindness shines through with every word she writes.**_

_As Jack approached and took Kate's hand, Hurley placed his arm over Jack's shoulder and then pulled Kate and the boys under his other arm. The three of them stood in the small clearing, surrounding the twin boys in the loving circle of their embrace…and vanished. _

The intimate circle of five remained stationary, but everything else shifted. Their surroundings aged, the power of the jungle though still thick and verdant, diminished. Before, the physical properties of the island had reined supreme, like a young person just discovering his strength. The island they now stood in was gentler, its menace faded.

"It's time for you to rest now, come on." Hurley released them from his grasp and gestured toward a small path in the jungle.

Jack planted his feet apart and rooted himself to the ground, refusing to move. "Hurley, you aren't going to take us somewhere we don't want to go again, are you? I don't know about these journeys you seem to be able to take, but I do know that Kate can't go much further."

"Don't worry Jack, I'm not taking you to outer space or anything, though that would be pretty cool. Just around the bend," Hurley pointed at a path behind them. "There's this place that I go to rest and do a few other things. You guys can get some sleep and I can see about feeding you something. I got a little story to tell you and then, well, you can do whatever you guys need to do."

Jack looked at Kate, she felt as if she were a character in someone else's dream, led through a meandering stream of consciousness. Physical movement had lost its menace at least temporarily; she felt that they could not go far wrong travelling in mere space as opposed to other more unfamiliar dimensions. Kate tilted her head and nodded. Jack shrugged in Hurley's direction, "Let's go."

Before too long they arrived at a cave of sorts, similar to the ones that Jack had insisted on occupying so long ago. This one was far larger though and it was also dry and habitable. It felt to Kate as if it were a home that had been lived in for a very long time. As she turned slowly and took it in, she realized that it was a little like a tilted room in a fun house. For one thing it was hard to get a grasp on how large it was, the beginnings and endings of the walls were foreshortened, as if they had been painted to appear, not as if they were tangibly present. There were large pillars holding up the ceiling but they did not evoke grandness, they seemed humble despite their girth and beauty. There was a large fire in the center of the cave, Kate was immediately drawn to it, the flames were inviting. All she needed was a cat, an afghan and a rocking chair and she would feel like a little girl again, snuggled up for a rainy afternoon nap.

Hurley bustled around like a host, gathering blankets, water and food. "I've got a lot of stuff here, mostly fruit but you know how it is on the island, you get used to it." Hurley laid the blankets out near the fire. "This is for you guys, I know that it's been a long time since you've slept and I've still got a few things I have to wrap up before we talk, so sleep now. Sleep as long as you want to. There is no hurry now, everything," Hurley looked first at Kate and then deliberately turned his head and also looked at Jack, long and hard, "everything is going to be all right now. You can sleep with no worries."

Kate leaned down and tenderly disengaged the twins from the folds of her garment. She laid them on the fireside blanket, side by side and lay beside them feeling as if she was seeing them for the first time. The danger and urgency of their birth had not allowed her the leisure of just enjoying them like this before. Here in Hurley's cave she felt safe enough at last to just _be_ with them. She took this moment to allow herself to feel. It was funny how she had never really believed that this would happen until it did. She was a mother. What an outlandish sentence that was. What she had given up in relinquishing Aaron, it felt so long ago now, was something she had never thought would be redeemable. She let her hand fall lightly upon the sleeping infants. Kate hated to close her eyes to rest; she wanted to fill herself up with the sight of them. They were nearly identical and their small, neat heads were black haired, Kate hoped that their eyes would remain dark and that they would favor Jack in every way. These tiny oblong t-shirt wrapped bundles were the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

Jack found his place upon the blanket opposite Kate and the twins, he lay his body down with a deep sigh. It felt like it had been weeks since they were lying side by side. Had it really been one day? He looked across the sleeping infants at Kate and placed his hand on hers, together they let themselves feel the softness of the bundles between them.

"Hey." Kate looked over at Jack, he looked so utterly weary. She let her fingers shift above his own and she traced a soothing pattern on his hand, desiring somehow to let him know, what was it exactly? Kate smiled, she couldn't say, it was too big. She wanted him to know that nothing mattered except for him, except for the babies between them and that because of the three of them, now everything mattered.

"Hey." Jack felt the soft touch of her fingers upon his own and let the joy of it all the way in. This, he knew now, was all he needed, Kate and their family, their presence; on the island, off the island, past or present, it hardly mattered. This was sufficiency.

Jack and Kate closed their eyes and slept.

Over twelve hours later, Jack sat up. He did a quick inventory of his surroundings. Yes, there was Kate, still sleeping, the twins beside her, nestled under her outstretched arm. It was hard to tell if it was day light, they were pretty far inside the cave but the fire was banked and the flames were low. It was probably daylight.

"Morning Jack, or I should say, good afternoon." Hurley was on the opposite side of the cave assembling a small tower of wooden slats. He was not getting very far, he would stack them to about three layers and they would collapse. Hurley showed no distress over his lack of success, in fact he seemed positively gleeful about it. Every time his house of wooden cards fell, he would just smile and try again. His efforts were not without skill, he was very careful to achieve the right balance but the wooden pieces seemed almost designed to separate and fall.

"Maybe you should give it up Hurley. It just doesn't seem to be your game." Jack smiled at that, he had never before seen a game of skill that Hurley hadn't owned, except for maybe golf.

Hurley leaned back with a beatific smile on his face, "Nah it isn't, not anymore."

Jack could see that the babies were starting to rouse, Kate woke with them, her maternal radar responding to their stirrings. She lifted the most wakeful twin and began to tend to him. Jack reached over and held the other, marveling at the tiny, perfect fingers and toes and at the fact that he had not been able to really do this yet.

Hurley brought over a platter of food for the small family assembled on the blanket. "Just fish but its fresh." He settled himself on the ground adjacent to their blanket; he brought with him a large skein of yellow thread, on a very large spool, neatly bound. He placed it beside himself and began to patiently unwind it, letting the thread drop off the skein into a piled tangle.

"That's gonna take you a while Hurley." Jack was devouring his fish, he was famished and he gestured with full hands at the unreeling spool.

Hurley pointed to his other side at a pile of more skeins, of various shades. "Well, when the twins are settled, you can help me. It'll take a hell of a let less time to unwind them then it did to wind them up." Hurley continued patiently with his task. "I've got a long story to tell you guys and this will give all of us something to do with our hands while I talk."

"These past few months have been pretty mind blowing you guys. I've learned a lot of really crazy stuff. Some of it I just read right here on these walls." Hurley gestured toward the walls of the cave, Jack and Kate turned their heads and noticed clearly for the first time that the walls were covered with drawings and paintings and letters, mostly indecipherable to their untutored eyes. The walls were a treasure trove of cryptic ciphers. " Believe it or not some of the stuff I've learned came from Jacob-no Jack, not you or me but the original guy. Ben even had a hand in letting me in on some pretty secret, cool shit. A lot of the stuff though, I had to just figure out for myself and that's where you guys come in.

We all know that this island is pretty strange; from the first night we all got here it was clear. But the island is stranger than I had ever imagined. I'm gonna quote a catechism lesson I remember from when I was a little kid to help you understand, the island is "_in_ the world, but not _of_ the world", if you know what I mean. It's kind of well, singular, I guess is how you would say it. There are some physical properties that make it like it is and Daniel was pretty on to a lot of it.

The thing about the island is that it is a place where things can come together or converge, especially time. Time is kind of hard for me to understand, but here on the island it's pretty slippery. Other places it's, how can I say it, it's linear, it follows, you know, things happen one thing after another.

"An orderly progression." Jack interjected, he wanted to let Hurley know that he was still with him.

"Yeah, that's exactly right Jack. Well, on the island, it's like that most of the time but there are times, wrong word here I guess but I can't put it differently, I guess circumstances is a better way of saying it. There are circumstances where time gets a little out of whack. It shows up in how space works here on the island too. You know how compasses are just slightly off and how it's so hard to get here, that's part of the whole slippery thing about this place.

Well, the stuff I've been learning here these past few months is kind of like history, but imagine how hard it is to learn the history of a place that isn't very organized in the whole time thing. It's worse than trying to sort out people's different point of views. It's like sorting out something like this."

Hurley pointed to the big pile of tangled thread collecting beside him. Jack and Kate had put their infants down; they had been fully fed and cleaned and were peacefully asleep. Hurley picked up two more skeins of black thread and handed them to the couple.

"Here you can undo these two." Jack and Kate received the spools with bewildered shrugs and began to unravel them.

"A long time ago, someone figured a lot of this stuff out, I don't really know their name and I can't figure out if it was a man or even if it was a woman but this person figured out that the island could be used. I'm not sure what the intentions were, maybe they were good, maybe bad, doesn't really matter. But this person knew a lot and I guess they got scared. They needed to find a way to control this place, to keep it safe and hidden, guarded. They couldn't do it alone and they didn't have access to anyone they could really trust. Kate, that's where you come in." Hurley looked at Kate, industriously unraveling her spool. She stopped at the mention of her name and looked up at Hurley, her eyes didn't actually widen, she was too wary for that, even with Hurley. She narrowed her eyes and glanced to the side, and gave one small short, sharp shrug.

"You were here, Kate a long time ago."

"Hurley, I don't remember visiting this place before." Kate looked around at the strange cave. "I think I would remember."

"No Kate, you were on the island a very long time ago."

"Hurley, is that where I was just yesterday? A long time ago?" Kate was getting more confused, she understood Hurley's story so far, but her own part in it was a puzzle.

"Well, kind of Kate. You were kind of there a long time ago, yesterday." Hurley smiled at his mixed up sentence. "but you were also there a long time ago before, you were actually there a very, very long time ago, in the original _when_. I know that sounds crazy but it's the only way I know how to say it."

Jack chose this time to interrupt. "Do you mean that Kate was there in the past, _originally_?" Jack stopped unravelling his thread, he was starting to fall back into his default mode. Frustration was starting to build and he took a deep breath to control it.

"Yeah, I kind of do Jack. Kate gave birth on the island 2000 years ago. She had twins, they were boys. Right after that, she was… well she kind of had to leave." Hurley felt constrained by his own rules of decency to not put too fine a point on that. "The boys grew up and one was Jacob and one turned into, well he was Jacob's brother." Hurley let all of this out in a rush, he swallowed and took a great breath of air.

Kate and Jack stared at Hurley, the mingled shock, horror and disbelief on their faces told Hurley everything he needed to know about how the next few minutes of this conversation might go. Nobody had ever said that this Jacob job was going to be easy, but this moment was perhaps the hardest one yet.


	27. Chapter 27

_**All right guys, I confess, this chapter is for those of us who are nerds at heart. I feel safe in including it because if you are a diehard LOST fan, it is likely that you are. If you are not a bit of a geek, you may want to give it a pass. But let me warn you, if you pass it up, the end is going to confuse you.**_

Kate dropped her spindle and stood. Everything within her rose up and refused Hurley's information. Even if it were true, she would not believe it, perhaps she could make it false, perhaps if she denied even having heard such a thing, there was a chance that it could remain somehow unsaid. She had a desperate urge to run and she would have if it had not been for the twins that lay sleeping by her side, if it had not been for Jack. Kate stood stock still, unable to leave and wanting more than anything in the world to escape. She could feel the pressure of tears behind her tightly shut eyes. This was not true, it could not be true, she repeated it in her mind like a mantra.

Jack looked at Kate, he could see her reaction, she was frozen, like a cornered animal. Jack stood and bent his legs so that his face was parallel to Kate's and shifted his body so that he stood immediately before her and drew himself in close, almost but not quite touching her. He placed his hands upon her cheeks and pressed his fingers there with gentle but deliberate force, he wanted to get in. He wanted her to feel his touch, "Kate, we are here; this is just a story so far." Jack's voice changed its register; he wanted her to hear this, to have the sound of it override the insanity that Hurley was spewing. "Right now Kate, _we are_ _here_, that's all that counts for us." He wiped at her escaping tears with his fingers. He knew she wanted to flee, he also knew that she wouldn't, he wanted her to know that he understood why.

Kate was not able to withstand Jack's tenderness. Everything in her that had been held rigid, crumbled, and she sank into his waiting arms. Her tears came in a rush, the pressure of this moment and the previous two days broke her and she cried for herself and for her babies. She cried for what she couldn't accept with her mind but for what she knew in her heart to be true. And though she knew none of the particulars, she cried for _that_ reality, for the suffering that it had involved, for its horrible loss.

Hurley watched the two, he was not narrating his story dispassionately. His heart was nearly broken by the sight of Kate. But he needed them to know these things, he wished that it had not happened exactly the way it had. All of these things had unfolded too quickly for him to make it any easier.

"Kate." Hurley spoke with such gentleness and brought such kindness to the sound of her name that both Kate and Jack turned toward him. Hurley knew that he would have to speak quickly and precisely, this truth was as hard as a diamond, it needed to be penetrated and only rapid force and absolute accuracy would do it.

"Kate, because we are on this unique island, you were here _before_, but you are also here _now_. Jacob, the old one, decided that he needed to correct some pretty messed up things, he kind of figured out a loophole of his own."

Jack and Kate sat down, if anyone but Hurley had been telling this tale they would have grabbed their children and fled. But Hurley had their trust, he had earned it. These words however, were stretching it nearly to the breaking point.

Hurley continued, "Well, as time went by, Jacob began to understand a lot of things about how to manipulate the weird timey kind of things around here. He worked and studied and practiced until he was able to pull off a little bit of what you might call temporal sleight of hand. Then he had to wait, it was a long time.

Jacob was waiting for the right person, actually the right people to come. We did, those of us who survived Oceanic Flight 815. All of us were from another ribbon in time; at least that is how I think of it. Each person's consciousness was the same, but their circumstances were different. It's the opposite of how I had always imagined it. It's pretty amazing how this thing works. Consciousness as I see it is pretty strange, what is self, unless it's in combination with circumstance- or maybe a better way to say it is, memory and experience. So it is pretty hard to get your mind around- selves from a different strand of time and space. Geez, I don't know- it's crazy.

Those of us on that flight were representatives of the right ribbon, the perfectly congruent string, the one that Jacob was waiting for all of those years." Hurley gestured again toward the spools of colored thread.

Jack and Kate were staring at Hurley with open mouths but they closed them and looked in their laps at his last words. Their partially unraveled spools seemed to bear a new significance.

"When we landed here, we jumped somehow into a different ribbon, but we still had our memories of the other intact?" Jack looked dubious; his innate logic was rearing up.

"It's the island Jack, it's different here, you know that. Your strings converged."

Jack gave a short skeptical shrug, he was unconvinced.

Kate interjected this time, her face awash with wonder, "Do you remember, Jack, when we were here at the very beginning and you found out about my past, remember what you said?"

Jack smiled and looked at Kate, "About how we all died and that everyone could get a second chance?" Jack shook his head. "I guess that I was really right, in a very complicated way."

Hurley continued, "You know Jack that's absolutely right, for a lot more than you or Kate or even the other survivors. If Jacob's plan would work, which was always a real long shot at best, then the ones with the real second chance were Jacob and his brother. You guys, here's the beauty of it, it worked. Jacob pulled the ultimate prestige, he figured out a way to transform an original event on the island. I guess for him, it was the most significant event of all, his own birth. This change shifted everything for him, for him and his brother. But that was only his personal mission, there was something a lot bigger up Jacob's sleeve. He figured out something really marvelous, the original alteration would be important in dismantling some of the destiny stuff that he had been trained to deal with his whole life.

Hurley stood up and held a pile of yellow thread in his hand; he waved it at Jack and Kate. "You guys done with yours?"

They picked up their masses of black thread.

"Okay, bring 'em over here." Hurley waved them over to the pile of wooden slats that he had gathered in a corner of the cave.

"This used to be a loom. When the babies were born, and I mean yesterday a long time ago, not a long time ago, a long time ago." Hurley laughed and shrugged. "I began to dismantle it. The thread that you hold in your hands used to be the bobbins for it. This thing has been a big part of my job these past few months; it was a big part of what the island has been doing for a long time. It's a kind of an organizational structure, you might say. It's what Jacob used to find his loophole.

Well, the island doesn't need it any more, everything is being released. The threads have been deliberately unraveled and you guys have made it possible.

A large tangled mass of gray thread lay on the ground by the pile of slats.

"What's that?" Jack pointed at the mass.

Hurley glanced down, his shoulders sagged and he shook his head, "That thread there represents Ben's life. Don't freak out- it just formed a picture, a story."

Jack squatted on the ground and fingered the thread. He tilted his head up and looked over at Hurley. "I haven't told you guys yet but Ben's dead, he killed himself. He deliberately fell off of a cliff."

"I thought that might be the case." Hurley looked at the wall of the cave, he blinked several times to stave off the unwelcome formation of tears. "Ben might be the saddest story this island has to tell. Knowing that Kate had the twins and that this time she wasn't killed must have driven him to despair. He knew, even better than I did what it implied. It was the end of the road for his version of the island. If this place ever had a slave, if it ever had someone completely in its thrall, it was Ben. Ben may have chosen to fall off of that cliff, but Ben didn't really kill himself, the island did it. His life was impossibly enmeshed with this place, it was twisted beyond repair.

I wasn't sure yet what had happened with Ben. This loom doesn't tell everything and it doesn't control everything exactly. It just allows glimpses and sometimes those glimpses can make opportunities to tweak things, to change courses. A strand in the loom could be made to change direction, just a tiny bit, it could be strengthened or weakened. Yeah this loom in skilled hands was a powerful piece of shit.

Once Jacob decided to pull off his trick, he needed to follow a thread, a specific thread. The loom is kind of like a computer- you can't just find things because they are there. It's too big, too complicated, you've got to have a handle on something to identify it and follow the thread. Jacob put all his efforts for a very longtime into finding one thread, actually two.

Reminds me of a story my alcoholic uncle told me about being a travelling oven cleaner salesman - yeah they used to have 'em. He had to sell this cleaning product door to door to frustrated housewives. The stuff was shit- didn't work. But it was my uncle's only job and he wanted to be able to buy a drink at the end of the day. Well, he was a big guy and he would clean a tiny little portion of the customer's dirty oven to demonstrate the crappy product. Well, he would put all of his 220 pounds and his craving for a cold beer behind the cleaning of that few inches of filthy oven. By god, that spot would shine, you could see your face in it.

Well that is the kind of effort Jacob put into finding that one thread, well actually two.

That thread had you in it, Jack and Kate, it was you he was looking for.

His parents."

Jack and Kate looked at each other. Their understanding of the situation was suspended somewhere beyond the realm of belief or disbelief. They were taking in Hurley's story as if they had been launched into a place lacking gravity, there was no real footing to be had, it was utterly fantastical.

Hurley continued. "Jacob needed something that would allow you guys to come to the island, something that could make you slip through a fissure – you know, a crack. It had to slide you by the crazy stuff that makes this place so impossible to find. That is where this comes in."

Hurley held up the talisman.

Kate looked at the tiny plane, she no longer felt the need for it. The craving that it had always caused in her mind, in her body was no longer present. Now it was just an object, she wondered at its loss of power over her.

"You know what?" Kate spoke and Hurley and Jack turned to listen to her rare interjection. "I had that thing with me on every flight, every time we came to or from the island; I had it on 815, the helicopter, 316 and the Cessna."

Jack stood and rubbed his hand at the nape of his neck, he peered under knotted brows at Hurley, "Is that thing like a key to the island?"

"Yeah, that's a pretty good way to think of it. It does more than that even, it's a little like a lubricant, it makes things a little more fluid, things like time and these ribbons I have been talking about. Don't ask me how Jacob came up with this thing, it must have been formed in the heart of the island.

So, where was I. Yeah right, so Jacob was looking for your threads, after hundreds of years, he found them, he found you."

Hurley stepped over to a different corner of the cave and pulled out one large bundle from a stack of many.

"This is a tapestry from the loom. It was finished yesterday, it's the last one, at least that this loom ever made."

Hurley unrolled it on the floor of the cave.

Jack and Kate gasped, there it was, every detail, every crazy twist and turn, it was their story, woven with great delicacy into a tapestry. From the moment of the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 through the birth of the twins, all of the events lay unfurled at their feet. The narrative was perfectly rendered in marvelous detail.

Jack kneeled down on his haunches; resting his arms upon his knees he adjusted himself to get a closer look. He shook his head, it seemed that as he looked more closely at the weaving more detail was exposed. It was like a satellite image, the threads held a magical, exponential ability to alter itself, it was almost alive. Jack was completely mesmerized. The tapestry was drawing him into its beautiful spell of mingled imagination and memory, this was a work of great power.

Kate and Hurley drew in and examined the weaving. They all gathered around it as if at the feet of a great tale spinner, pulled into the fascinating story before them.

Hurley pointed at one corner of the rug, "Do you guys remember that?" It was a picture of Hurley in the Dharma van with Sawyer, Jin and Charlie careening in full, joyous circles a field.

"Nope, wasn't there." Jack smiled broadly at the sight, he shook his head. "I sure wish I was though."

"Well, let me tell you all about it" Hurley sat down and began to relay his memories of that day.

Jack, Kate and Hurley sat by the tapestry long into the night reminiscing, eating, laughing, crying and tending to the babies. The tapestry drew them into its narrative spell and they allowed themselves to fully remember and relay to one another their parts in the incredible journey the island had brought them on.

Surfeited with memory, fellowship and food, their stories drifted to a close.

Hurley rolled up the tapestry and carried it back to the corner of the cave. "This thing will stay here, maybe someday somebody will find it and tell this story to the world. I don't know, not likely but maybe it could happen."

Hurley came back to Jack and Kate and sat down looking straight at them, his voice took on a serious tone, "You guys, I showed you that, because I want you to understand something about this thing that Jacob has done. Everything that happened two thousand years ago, it happened. Jacob did not wave a magic wand and make it disappear. Those events, the original birth, what…uhh…happened to you Kate." Hurley looked at Kate, whose brow was lowered in confusion and distress. Hurley placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I hate to say this but Jacob didn't make them go away. He just made it so that a new thread could replicate a singular event and repeat it in a different way. Redeem it in the same place, with the same people. That is the real, what might you call , _bullet catch, _and it was only possible because it was here on this island.

Jack spoke up. "So this particular happenstance, the birth of our twins is a do-over?"

Hurley smiled and nodded emphatically. "Yeah Jack that is exactly right, it's a mulligan."

Kate had to smile for a brief moment at their reference to golf. "There is a catch though isn't there?" Kate knew that there would be a price to pay for redemption, there always was and she and Jack always seemed to be the ones to pay it. She looked at Hurley with dread, she hoped that she would not have to leave, that Jack would not have to leave. She knew that they would do it if it meant that their babies could live, but that price seemed so high and pointless. She also knew that she was getting ahead of herself, she deliberately calmed her racing heart and prepared herself to listen to Hurley's words.

Hurley nodded and looked across at her. "Yeah, you're right there is. You and Jack really can't leave this place again and stay converged. If you leave, the ribbons that hold your, I don't know how to say it, your full selves can't slide in or out anymore. They will flicker and fade if you make another move, they won't necessarily stay together. You guys have a choice to make. You can stay here together and raise your babies. Or you can go back once more but if you do, you may lose each other's threads. I can't say what will happen. This whole thing Jacob pulled off, well it's a onetime deal, there's not much experience to fall back on."

Kate let out a large sigh of relief, for her this choice was easy, a grace she hadn't imagined or expected.

Jack and Kate stood side by side, each standing straight and tall, they turned toward one another. It was a solemn moment; they stood before Hurley as if in the wedding that they had never been able to have. They clasped hands, they had made their choices independently and instantly, for each of them it was their greatest act of volition, stronger than any marriage vow. They would stay together, their threads would remain eternally intermingled, they would stay on the island.

"

.

_***This is yet another opportunity for self-indulgence, forgive and ignore it please if you like but for those of you who are curious and in the interests of carrying on an illustrious LOST tradition of nomenclature, the names Thomas (named by reviewer# 150) and Theodor (Teddy) have a particular sort of significance. The choice of Thomas reflected reasoning that was three-fold and holds meaning in the context of this story. First, I think that reviewer #150 liked the name and I seconded the name because of the thoughts and actions of Thomas the doubter and Thomas Paine. They were two new men, rethinkers of sorts ( and really the sort I like). The name Teddy has a bifurcated significance; a call out to a beautiful character in a J.D. Salinger short story (read it!) and obscurely enough for Theodor Lipps, a philosopher who explored that fundamentally human (and I might add humane) trait, empathy.**_


	28. Chapter 28

_Jack and Kate stood side by side, each standing straight and tall, they turned toward one another. It was a solemn moment; they stood before Hurley as if in the wedding that they had never been able to have. They clasped hands, they had made their choices independently and instantly, for each of them it was their greatest act of volition, stronger than any marriage vow. They would stay together, their threads would remain eternally intermingled, they would stay on the island. _

Until this moment, time had been lurching, it spit and spun, it gyrated in great circles. On the island time could find no peace. Until now.

At this moment, in the dim light of the cave, in the presence of Jack and Kate, tall and unbowed, facing one another, hands entwined; time humbled itself and stood still.

Kate had never seen Jack as fully as she did at this moment. He was dirty and exhausted, his eyes were blood shot with weariness, there were scratches all over his face and arms, his body was black and blue, his pants were torn and he had no shirt. Every bruise and indignity that his body bore had been for her. He had gone as far as a man could go to find her. He had crossed an impenetrable barrier; time itself, in search of her. Before her stood a man who had cast aside everything with no hesitation, not a hint of a second thought and in an instant he had put all of his fierce effort to one purpose, to find her.

Jack was everything Kate had ever imagined or hoped for; he was the full sum of her dreams.

They needed no flowers, no candles, no alter, no dress, no dinner, no dance, no rings, no spoken vows. Kate looked into Jack's face and what she saw there was far more than words could ever convey. His promise to her shone brightly in his eyes, they held all the eloquence she ever needed.

Jack looked at the woman standing before him, he had never known anyone harder to comprehend, more difficult to persuade, more infuriatingly independent. He almost had to laugh at how she looked; her hair had not seen a brush for days. Her dress, if it could even be called such a thing, was filthy and disheveled, the edges of it had been torn and deliberately cut with a saw for god's sake. These last two days had nearly drowned her, starved her, had pushed her body beyond conception, she had been profoundly lost and here she was, undefeated and standing tall. He had never known anyone like her, anyone capable of such strength.

Kate held his heart as no one ever had. Jack had never known this kind of love before. Kate was fullness, she was joy, she was his greatest delight.

To Hurley, there was an elemental quality to them; as if they were the first two people in the world. Hurley had read about something like this in high school. That's right, he thought to himself, he remembered it from P.S. 84, room 16, Western Civ, fourth hour. The class where Miss Christianson had allowed them to make their room into a block- no it was an agora- and he had been allowed to play Diogenes and sit in a empty trash barrel and make wise cracks all morning. That was fun. What Jack and Kate reminded him of was Greek. Hurley shook his head to clear it, what was he seeing here? Must have had to do with those old philosopher types, Aristotle? No, it was the philosopher who killed himself with some kind of poison pine needle, no it was the one who wrote about that guy - that's right, Plato. Plato would have talked about this. Hurley looked up at his old friends, and for a moment he saw what familiarity hid from him most of the time. They were not ordinary, they were not even special, Jack and Kate at this moment in the golden firelight of the cave, were almost beyond this world, as Plato might say it, _ideal._ They shone.

Jack released Kate's hands, he let his own trace a path past her elbows and across her shoulders and very gently he drew her into the circle of his arms. Kate laid her face against Jack's broad chest and listened to the beating of his heart. She tilted her face up and closed the short distance between them, her kiss was light and sweet, effervescent in its gladness. Jack had expected this profound moment of promise to be solemn, but strangely it was not, he was filled with such a profound feeling of joy that he almost wanted to laugh out loud. He now knew why weddings were filled with songs and dancing, this kind of happiness was hard to contain. If he had a hat he would have thrown it high into the air, instead he kissed Kate back soundly and swept her off of her feet and twirled her. Twice.

As if to break the spell of temporal suspension, both twins began to cry at once.

Jack, Kate and Hurley all began to laugh and busy themselves; the tension of the past released itself in the practical matter of feeding and cleaning the twins. Hurley gathered clean linens and Jack inspected their old ones, his physician's keen eye looking out for newborn meconium. Kate fed them, each in their turn, marveling at their soft heads. She laid her hand on the child at her breast and wondered what they would choose for a name. They had not really discussed it yet. Jack had been so intent on getting them off the island that he almost showed fear when she spoke too clearly about what would happen after the birth. Jack had been very careful to talk to her about the delivery and had coached her carefully about what to expect and how to handle it. But the actual infants, that had been a subject that she had sensed that he was not ready for. Kate whispered to her little one, "There will be time, we have that now."

As Kate and the twins lay resting on their blanket, Jack helped Hurley with the disassembled loom and neatly separated piles of tangled threads. "So, what are you gonna do with all of this stuff, Hurley?"

"I think I'm supposed to burn the wood Jack. The island is done with it. Somehow I don't want to leave the pieces."

"Hurley, Kate and I are staying here, that's settled. But I don't want that for the twins, I don't care what the island says that we are supposed to do, but I do care about what will happen to them if they leave. Maybe they won't want to go, I don't know, probably won't, not for a long time yet at least. But I want them to be able to."

Hurley wondered why it had always been so easy for him to talk to Jack about things that mattered. It wasn't particularly easy for him to do it with anyone else. Somehow with Jack, things got down to their essential components quickly. Chaff was cut out. "Jack, I don't think Jacob would have pulled this feat off if it meant that he and his brother were just going to repeat the whole being locked on this island forever thing again. A big part of this was done so that they could get a chance to be free. Free to go, stay, whatever they want or find necessary. This whole thing, I think is about liberation. Yeah, they will be able to make their choices."

Jack nodded his head. Hurley's answer was enough for him. He and Kate made their choice; that was the beauty of it. Jack looked over at Kate sleeping with the twins, she was on her side and had her arm gently draped over their tiny bodies, as if unconsciously protecting them from any dangers. Jack smiled quietly to himself, how many fathers already knew their kids before they were even born? He couldn't say he really knew Jacob, but what he had known was that he had been good, and that he had pulled off the most convoluted card trick he had ever witnessed. Jack's smile broadened as he looked at the sleeping twins, he was proud of his boy.

Hurley walked over to Jack and folded his arms over his chest and coughed. "Well Jack, I'm kind of done here. Can you say goodbye to Kate for me and you know, take care of yourself?" Hurley looked at Jack, and shifted uncomfortably on his feet, saying goodbye was difficult in itself but saying it to Jack was nearly impossible.

"You're leaving?" Jack shifted his glance toward Hurley; his friend held a small black back pack, the zipper was opened and revealed a mass of colorful thread.

"Yeah, I've got one more pretty important thing to do and then I guess I'm done with all of this Jacobean stuff. Here." Hurley pressed two piles of black thread into Jack's hand. "You and Kate, these are yours now. You guys can do whatever you want with them."

Jack looked at the tangled thread; he shrugged and looked up at his friend. "Hell, I'm not sure what we'll do."

"Don't worry, Jack. You always know what to do when the time comes." Hurley zipped his pack and threw it over one shoulder. He straightened his shoulders and looked long and hard at the one man in the world he loved and admired the most, Hurley was sure that Jack of all people would know what to do. Hurley threw his arms around his friend. "Goodbye Jack."

Jack hugged Hurley long and hard. "Good luck, Hurley." Hurley smiled at the irony of Jack's farewell and left the cave.

Shaking his head at the strange piles of black thread, Jack gathered his pack and settled next to Kate and the boys and waited for them to wake. It was time for them to go back to Rose and Bernard. It was time for him to figure out what to do next. Jack looked at his family sleeping by his side, the time had come to turn the page and start a new chapter. He would begin by building a home.

"


	29. Chapter 29

_**Yas and Erica, your beautiful stories about names, respectively entitled "Jack" and "Kate" got me started on this thing. By the way, readers- go back, go back I urge you all to read them if you haven't and reread them if you have. They are marvelous.**_

"Are you sure you have it?" Rose tilted a long pole at an angle of ninety degrees in the general direction of her husband. He was perched above her ready to receive.

"I've got it Rose, perfect." Bernard put the peg into the hole that he had prepared with a satisfied twist. It was done.

Though Kate had only been gone for three days, it felt like a lifetime for the older couple. They found that they could not just wait, their ears pricked with every noise in the bush, their eyes wandered ceaselessly searching for any sign. They could not abide, they had to do.

Bernard began dragging poles from the jungle that Kate had peeled and prepared but could not move due to her condition. He lined them up silently next to the small, unique structure she had built. Rose remembered where the pile of bundled thatch lay ready to attach to the poles and began to drag them one by one to the waiting cabin. Bernard and Rose found themselves finishing the roof for Kate.

For Rose it was an act of faith, she knew Kate was alive just as she had known after arriving at the island that Bernard though absent, had been alive. Making this roof signaled Rose's unshakeable expectation.

For Bernard, finishing the roof was an act of atonement. It was to make up for a missed opportunity. He wondered why they had not done this before Kate had been lost; was it because he had thought that they would have time, enough to squander? But now every moment that Kate and Jack were gone, it felt ironically that there wasn't enough time. Every moment that passed felt like a surer step to the final loss of Kate. Bernard wished that he could stop time and that there could be an endless stream of nonsequential moments to use in search of her.

Bernard couldn't pray, he wished he could but he didn't have it in him. But Bernard was wrong, every effort on that roof had been an act of prayer.

As Bernard descended the makeshift ladder, he heard a sound and turned.

There they were.

Jack and Kate stood by the path that led from the jungle. Bernard had never seen two more disheveled, exhausted people in his life. They were standing side by side each holding a small bundle. They were looking up at Rose and Bernard with mingled relief and expectation, the kind of look that ends a long and weary journey, one that says _home_.

Rose ran. She hadn't run in a long time, as she said often, her bones were getting old. She always moved at a gentle pace as if to husband her strength and parse it out carefully. She threw all such caution aside and hurried to the couple. She placed her arms wide around the whole family and leaned in, she wept for the joy of it.

"They were born! Oh thank God, they were born! Such beauties, such precious beauties." Rose looked at the twins, marveling at the perfect shape of their black haired heads, the beauty of their dark eyes and their tiny, delicate mouths, just beginning to open after the sleepy motion of the long journey in their parents arms wore off. Kate looked at her dear friend and reveled in her joy filled words. She felt somehow as if Rose's welcome of her babies made them even more real somehow. It settled them even further into her heart's perception. The hugeness of their birth, their entry in the world was something that could not be taken in at once. It needed to be continually assessed, to find a way to fill all of the corners of her mind.

Rose instinctively knew what Kate was feeling as she received the children into her waiting arms. She knew what the twins needed to complete their welcome into the world and she began to devise it. She asked, "What are their names?"

Jack and Kate looked at each other. So much had happened, they had been on a rollercoaster ride these past few days and they had not addressed this crucial issue.

"No, we haven't named them yet Rose." Jack spoke quietly, "I guess we were waiting." Jack placed a gentle kiss on Rose's cheek, it was clear to Jack why they had not named the twins, they had been waiting to come home.

Bernard joined them and he took one of the infants from the arms of his wife and wondered wordlessly at the miracle that he held. His general volubility was quelled by their beauty. He had not held an infant in many years and he had never held one that he thought of as one of his own. Rose and Bernard who had no children of their own were being blessed beyond measure with the gift of grandchildren. That is what the twins would be to them, it wasn't a spoken declaration, it just _was_.

"Kate, Jack you have to rest. Let me get a few things ready for you." Rose handed the babies who were just beginning to fuss back to Kate who was ready to feed them.

Kate held her twins and looked around at the clearing until her eyes settled upon her small structure. It was done, the roof was on, the one thing that she had not been able to do, the thing that she had been afraid to ask anyone to help her with. She wasn't sure where her reluctance came from; perhaps before her return to the island she had never really known what it was to be loved completely. She knew she had been, Jack had made his feelings clear. But she hadn't let herself really _know_ it. She hadn't known what it was to be surrounded by people who wouldn't mind being asked to help her, who were eager to be asked. Kate held her babies close and looked down, she closed her eyes tight to stop her tears and then she thought again. She opened her eyes and looked up, she saw Rose bustling with blankets and a homemade broom readying their laughable little house. She saw Bernard with food and boiling water over the fire making ready for tea and there was Jack, so exhausted that he could barely walk sorting linens for their twins. Kate no longer felt the need to hide her tears, she lifted her face and let them course down her cheeks unashamedly; they freely fell in gratitude for her family. Her _family_, what a wonderful word. For the first time in her life Kate now knew the weight of that word, its true meaning, Kate knew it all the way down, it meant love.

A short time later Jack and Kate and the twins retreated to their tiny little cabin to rest. Jack looked around at the structure almost for the first time and admired Kate's handiwork. The walls were woven reeds, strong enough to withstand island winds but just loose enough to let air in. It was straight and true and this lent a certain beauty to it, the firm, small trunks that supported it were chosen well.

Kate was lying on a bed that Rose had prepared for them, the twins lay beside her content to sleep again. Jack lowered himself to join them.

"This is a good house you've built. I haven't thanked you yet. Thank you, Kate."

Kate smiled, "Well, Jack I didn't finish it or anything and Rose and Bernard had to build the roof."

Jack laughed, it sounded as if Kate actually thought that its unfinished state had been due to laziness on her part. He shook his head. "Kate, can we build the rest together?"

"I guess I can let you help, Jack. But only on one condition."

Jack looked at Kate, alarmed. Would he have to paint himself blue for her or climb the highest Banyan? "Well, let's hear it Kate."

"I want you to let me help you work on that plane, to keep it in good condition. I know we won't leave, but I want the boys to be able to some day, when they are grown, when they're ready."

Jack swallowed; he knew that Kate had not overheard his talk with Hurley about the twins. She had been sound asleep. He had not been expecting her to see it so clearly, he had not expected her to anticipate the future so well. Jack had thought that it would be years before they would be able to discuss this. He realized that she already knew how he would feel about it, she knew without a doubt that he would want them to have options beyond the island. Jack looked at Kate with a new kind of deep understanding. They had the exact same sensibilities regarding their boys.

Jack reached over the sleeping twins and caressed Kate's cheek, his thumb lingering lovingly near her beautiful mouth. "Absolutely Kate, that is a deal."

The beach was illuminated by the stars that spread across the night sky above. They shone so brightly that even the darkness of the water below could not absorb them wholly. They were reflected and shone from above and from below across the entire horizon.

Rose looked out over the sea and took a in a deep breath of the night air and plunged in. "What we are doing here is naming these two boys."

Jack stood before the sea clutching one twin close to his chest and Kate stood beside him with the other.

Rose and Bernard stood quietly behind the couple. Rose cleared her throat and spoke again. "Every person has their place under the stars, when you name these boys their place is called out, it is clear. They are welcomed to this glorious world."

Jack lifted their boy high into the air and showed him to the stars shining above him, he wheeled his son in a joyous circle and presented him to the water all around, he shouted his son's name loud to the heavens, "Thomas, this is Tom.

Kate lifted their boy in her arms high and showed him the great ark of the sky, and not being able to resist pulled him back in close and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then she lifted him again and shouted his name, "Teddy, this is our boy". Their voices drifted off into the night and finally mingled with the constant, comforting sound of the ocean's rhythmic waves.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Dear Readers, This is just a brief peek into the life of the Shephard family, join me as I settle myself high in the canopy of the jungle to get a bird's eye view. Let's be careful though, for unlike her beloved characters, the author is quite clumsy and likely to fall.**_

Jack watched as his son drew in the sand with a broken stick, it was a complicated process and Teddy found himself having to smooth the sand at least once while he tried to get his drawing just right.

"That's right Tee, you make the right angle just like that, now connect the sides and what you have now is a right triangle. Remember what we talked about this morning? The sum of the two sides squared- remember that is a self times self-, here," Jack pointed at the two sides, "equals the third side squared, here."

Teddy looked up at his Dad with a look of astonishment as the remarkable beauty of the concept clicked into place. "I got it Dad! I got it! Let's do another one." Teddy wrote some numbers in the sand, and paused for a moment. "This reminds me, Bernard told me something yesterday."

"Yeah, what was that?" Jack chuckled to himself. The boys had taken on net duty and he wondered sometimes what they talked about on their treks in the afternoons, or rather what Bernard talked about, Bernard regaled while the boys listened with rapt attention.

"Well, have you ever looked up at the sky and seen a flock of geese flying, you know how they make a V shape?"

Yeah, I've noticed that." Jack shifted on his haunches and looked at his son; his large green eyes were glowing with excitement at the prospect of telling his Dad, who knew everything, something he might not know.

"Well Dad, have you ever noticed how one side is longer than the other, kind of like our triangle here?" Teddy was standing on one foot, he had his other foot clutched in his hand and with the other hand he was beginning to wave his stick around in the air in triangle formations.

Jack put a hand out to steady him and had to duck a light blow to the temple with the waving stick. "Slow down there buddy, I have noticed that sometimes."

"Have you ever wondered why one side was longer than the other?" Teddy stopped; his body which seemed to move in every direction moments ago was now completely still, he waited with breathless anticipation for his Dad's answer.

Jack hadn't especially wondered before, but he knew that the truth in this instance would give his son no satisfaction, so he pretended. "Well yeah Tee, I guess I have, do you know why?"

Teddy jumped up, twirled on one foot and began to walk away; he tossed his head over one shoulder and answered his Dad as an apparent afterthought. "It's because one side has more birds in it."

Jack laughed and shook his head, he walked forward and caught his son from the back and flipped him gently and lifted him over his shoulder. All the while, Teddy was in a paroxysm of giggles, he had been waiting all day to tell his Dad that one.

"You got me there, I've never heard that one." Jack ran with his son slung over his shoulder to the clearing where Kate and Tom were waiting for them. When they arrived, Jack went in the direction of some sounds he heard beyond the cabin and through the trees, at the lagoon.

Kate was high on an overhanging branch above a circular patch of grass beside the water, stretched out, looking down intently at her son. Tom was thinking, his brow was in a knot over his dark brown eyes and his hand was grasping the end of a very long cable that Kate had dangled down in front of him. "I don't know Mom, do you think we should have it make a second go round, it may be strong enough already."

"Well it's up to you Tommy, it depends upon how strong you think it needs to be, how high you want it and I guess what you're going to sit on."

Thomas looked at his collected gear, he had fashioned a wooden swing that morning and knew in his mind about how high he wanted it to be, he looked up at the branch above and measured the distance with his eyes, he looked over at the lagoon to see where the swing would need to get to and he assessed the length of cable in his hand. He nodded his head after he had made his decision. "One more time, please." He tossed the rope up to his mom with a neat, straight throw carefully aimed to fall directly into his mom's waiting hand. Kate caught it effortlessly and wound it around the tree limb checking it for soundness and dropped it down again. "Thanks Mom." Tom gathered the cable and wound it into the hole he had cut out of his swing that morning and began to tie two knots into the end.

"Make sure you use those square knots I showed you this morning, Tommy. Not the slip, they have to be secure." Kate spoke quietly to her boy from up in the tree; she rested her chin in her hands and watched while she lay perched on the branch. She was enjoying her bird's eye view of his intense efforts; she loved watching him, the perfect image of his father. She caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye in the trees beyond and smiled to herself as she saw Jack and Teddy come down the path from the cabin. Jack still had the boy slung over his shoulder; he glanced at Tom and looked around some more with a question in his eyes. He was looking for her. Kate scooted her way swiftly and silently down from the tree and landed on her feet nimbly, right in front of him, and dusted her hands off on her pants.

"God, Kate." Jack tried and failed to cover his surprise at her sudden appearance, less than two feet from his nose. Kate leaned in and kissed the aforementioned appendage. She bent to the side and grinned at Teddy still slung over his Dad's shoulder. Teddy looked up, his face ringed by tousled brown curls and reached down for the ground. He tried to slip out of his father's arms attempting to imitate his mom's stealthy descent, only he was finding that he was going to land upside down and not on his feet. Jack was well aware of his son's predicament and he tilted Teddy up at the last moment, inverting him with a quick flip to land safely on his feet. Jack shook his head and wondered if it was as hard for Kate's mother to keep her in one piece when she had been young as it was to keep Teddy secure in life and limb. "You shouldn't encourage him Kate," Jack tried to frown at her, he found it hard to push his reprimand through Kate's and Teddy's great glee, their physical joy of being overwhelmed his common sense. Instead he chose to distract himself by Tommy's project.

Jack watched his son put the finishing touches on his knots below the wooden swing. Jack knelt down and inspected the cable closely for rough edges and weak spots. He could find none. He knew he wouldn't need to look up at the overhanging limb, Kate had done that part.

"Tom, you chose this length of cable well and your knots look very tight and secure, you want to demonstrate?"

Tom blushed at his father's praise; he shifted his clear gaze from his father and looked over at his brother. He nodded seriously at Teddy, "I made this for you Ted, it's our birthday and this is your present." Tommy knew that it would be a good gift, Ted said that he wished that a vine grew right here so that he could swing into the lagoon from the spot.. Tom had measured pretty carefully and was pretty sure the rope would make the perfect ark to allow for a great splash in the water. That's what Ted would want for his birthday, a perfect landing.

Ted ran to his brother and gave him a bear hug. "Thanks Tom, this is so cool! I bet we can both do this together, you balance on one side and I'll pinch my toes in right here, we can stand, hold on, start to swing and jump when I count to…" Teddy had grabbed the cable and was hoisting himself to one side of the swing, demonstrating his novel positioning.

"Nope, not gonna happen." Jack put his hand on Teddy's shoulder, "How about if you just swing by yourself for now, we've got to get to Bernard and Rose's for a birthday feast pretty soon."

Teddy looked at his Dad and stepped down obediently, retreating from his plan immediately. He nodded his head, to assure his Dad that he accepted and understood his restraint. "Okay Dad, I just thought of something I need to do though, can I have a minute before we go?"

"Sure, but make sure you give that great present a try before you do." Jack smiled at his impetuous son. Teddy had an intense eagerness to embrace every experience that came his way, he was like a racing train sometimes and it was Jack's job very often to apply the brakes. But Ted's intensity was combined with something that completely conquered his father; it was the one thing that both of his very different sons shared, a simple sweetness of heart. Jack wondered sometimes where this quality came from; his boys' uncomplicated affection was unspoiled. Neither of them had ever known the pain that had caused their parents to hide for so many years. This was a grace that Jack found himself marveling at, he was profoundly grateful.

Teddy gave the swing a try, and leapt grandly into the lagoon. Jack watched the elegant launch and laughed out loud at the gladness of it. Kate grinneded and waited for a dripping Teddy to emerge.

"Jack, Ted and I will meet you guys at the cabin, we have something to get before we go across the clearing." Kate gave Jack a meaningful look that said: ask no questions, this is private birthday business. Jack nodded and left, Tommy in tow.

Kate looked at Teddy, she knew what he had in store for his brother and she was almost as excited as he was. The boys had been preparing these secrets of theirs for each other for days and she was their chief confidant and coconspirator for birthday surprises. Neither she nor Jack had siblings growing up and it was her particular joy to see her boy's regard for each other grow through the years.

Teddy grabbed his mom's hand and invited her to follow. He tried with all of his heart not to but found it impossible to resist tugging on her just a bit.

"Mom, I've got it a little farther in. It's hard to find a place that Tom won't find something, you know how he is always digging around everywhere for rocks or abandoned eggs."

Kate was well aware of her budding naturalist son's hunting habits. He loved to collect, organize and with the help of his parents, classify. His makeshift museum was the abiding passion of his young life.

"Here it is." Teddy pointed at his small display with a proud flourish.

"Ted, that is beautiful." Kate took in sharp breath, the effort and concentration that the small display of feathers mounted on a long piece of bark represented was impressive. There were twenty completely different feathers, not identified but the exact location of their origin was written in painstakingly small letters underneath each one. Teddy must have been collecting these for weeks. This was not the kind of work that her wiggly boy enjoyed for himself. He had done this solely for his more sedentary brother's pleasure.

Teddy stepped back; he ducked his head modestly and put his hand behind his head in a gesture that recalled his father. "I collected them all by myself Mom, and I'm pretty sure the spelling is all correct, I checked every word. If Teddy knows where I found them he might be able to find the birds or even their nests and then he can identify them." He lifted the collection gingerly, an uncharacteristic display of care reflecting the value of the object that he carried.

"Why don't we bring this to Bernard and Rose's and you can give it to Tommy there?"

Teddy nodded seriously and made his way to the older couple's home with pursed lips and a furrowed brow, intent on the safe and secure delivery of his gift.

_Later that evening._

"Dad, there are so many stars up there." Tommy lay on a blanket, nestled with the rest of his family; it was a Shephard family tradition to sleep beneath the stars on the night of the twin's annual birthday celebration. "Rose told me that there are so many so that people could get an idea of what infinity is."

Jack pulled his head up to rest it on his hand as he looked down to look at his thoughtful son. "Maybe Rose is right Tommy, as for me, I don't know why the stars are there, they just are. We can learn from them though." Jack lay back down and looked up, taking in the vast and beautiful spectacle above him, the dark blue sky was awash with stars.

"Infinity is a lot Dad, I don't think that I could ever count that high, you should be able to though. Tommy looked at his father with confidence.

Jack chuckled inwardly at his son's inaccurate perception. Tommy had no idea of how little his father could really do. His own limitations would surely be revealed to his son though, a little heartbreaking bit at a time. It was as sure as the stars.

Jack was quick to correct his son's overly grand idea of his ability. "I could never count that high Tommy, I can't see why I would want to."

"Who wouldn't Dad?" Jack had to smile, the world lay like a vast uncharted territory before his little boy, it was beyond his comprehension that anything it offered would be futile or uninteresting.

"Tom," Jack chose his words carefully, "infinity is very big. I will tell you a little story so that you can understand that it is more than we can count even if we all did it together; you, me, Ted, Bernard, Rose and even Mom. Imagine a cabin or no, think of a hotel, remember like Rose told you about last week? Well this hotel has an infinite number of rooms with even numbered rooms on one side of the hall and odd numbered rooms on the other.* Well, one night they all get filled up with an infinite amount of people. After everyone is settled down for the night another infinite amount of people come. So a smart guy says," Hey, we can make room for them, let's just multiply our room numbers by two and move to the room with the new number."

Tommy piped in, "Yeah dad, that's doubling them!"

"That's just right Tom. Remember we have a never ending amount of rooms so everyone doubled their number and moved."

Tommy nodded eagerly; he was following the numerical story with bated breath. "Dad if they doubled their numbers than that means that it left all of odd numbered rooms empty!"

Jack nodded his head, astounded by Tommy's quick understanding. "Yep, so after everyone scurried to their new rooms, the smart guy tells the new infinite group of people to move to all of the vacant odd numbered rooms. There were now two groups of infinite people. Tommy, that could go on forever. That is how big infinity is."

Tommy took in this story and let it percolate in his mind for a little while. Jack could see him thinking it through. An almost painful shot of sheer love coursed through him as he looked at his son's intense look of concentration.

"Dad, I think Rose is right. I think that stars are a better way to understand infinity than hotel rooms." Tommy gently judged his father's rather prosaic tale and found it wanting. He placed his hand on his Dad's shoulder and patted it comfortingly, "I like your story though, I just think it's a little more complicated than what is up there." Tommy pointed at the splendor spread across the night sky. Jack had to agree, Tommy was right.

After seeing that Tom had succumbed to sleep, Jack turned over to look at Kate. She was looking up at him with a wry smile. "We do tend to complicate things don't we." Kate looked at the sleeping boys by their sides and moved in very close to Jack and spoke softly into his ear. "But really it's all fairly simple isn't it." Kate let her lips drift down gently from Jack's ear and she placed a tender, soothing kiss on his cheek.

Jack shifted his weight to bring Kate in closer and let the delicate impression of her body fill his senses. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. "You are so right Kate. Everything is as simple as the stars above us."

_***I have paraphrased this famous paradox (and I fear destroyed it in the process- must not let such small details stop me though). It was originally devised by the brilliant mathematician, David Hilbert. **_


	31. Chapter 31

_**I know I said a long time ago that the end was near and then somehow it was not. It has finally arrived. For those of you who always skip author's notes, introductions, prefaces and other authorial autobiographical indulgences I would suggest you skip this boldish Ital-ickey stuff. But I want to take a moment to explore the purpose of this little story. If you hadn't guessed by now it is just one long- (much longer than I had originally planned)- love letter to Jack and Kate. I wish to acnowledge the help of both Erica and Stef, without their friendship, expertise, kindness and encouragement this certainly would not have been written. **_

_**Thank you readers for hanging in there. For me, it has been a joy.**_

Jack stood at the shoreline meeting the sunrise as he had every morning for the last thirty years. He stood with a net in his hands poised to drop it, leaving it to rest and wait for the day's bounty. Something stilled his movement, he saw a motion out of the corner of his eye and he turned.

A bright yellow bird flew out of a tree and fluttered in the air beside him. It beat its wings in what Jack perceived to be a desperate attempt to gain purchase in the air. Finally the small bird found its rhythm and began to glide high over the water, it turned skillfully in midflight and Jack eagerly traced its movements. The yellow bird's path was like a daub of living paint freshening the morning sky. It dove down towards the water, either flying or falling and Jack felt his heart bottom out as he watched it plummet lower and lower over the sea. At the last minute however the bird stopped in midflight and recovered itself flying low and in. It finally came to rest exactly where it started, on a branch in a tree at the edge of the jungle a short way across the sand. Jack looked at the golden splash of color against the green trees, the bird paused only a moment and took fight again, disappearing back into the jungle's depths.

Jack glanced at the net that he still held in his hands and changed the course of his movements, instead of dropping it into the shallow ocean waters, he gathered it back into his hands. Jack turned his back on the sea and made his way to the well trodden path that led through the jungle and back home.

Kate took the water off of the fire for morning tea. It was the last of the season's chamomile that grew in the clearing beyond, a perennial patch that Rose had cultivated many years before. Kate looked around the small piece of ground that she and Jack had called home. Where there had been grass alone there were now gardens that had furnished them with all that they had needed for these many years. Their home stood in the center, much larger than the humble reed structure she had prepared before the birth of their boys. The cottage was made of peeled and polished saplings now long burnished by time and age. The arbor before the door was covered with vines of blooming jasmine and honey suckle, Kate breathed in the delicate fragrance of the pink and orange blossoms.

Kate walked slowly over to the stone wall that served as a foundation for their cottage. This wall had been Jack's gift to her during the twins first year; it was a thing of simple beauty. Jack had collected it slowly, stone by stone from a creek bed at the foot of the cliffs. Kate placed her hand on one particularly beautiful stone, a piece of polished gneiss. Its bands of dark and light stripes had charmed the boys and they often used to place their hands upon it to begin their long games of hide and seek. It had been the agreed upon safe spot, home base for their games that through the years became more complicated and lengthy. Tom and Ted had made a science of hiding from one another. They had been so different but it had been uncanny how well they both knew the landscape of the island and more importantly each other's minds. This made concealment the ultimate challenge. Kate had chided them gently one evening for spending so much time hiding from one another, but Tommy drew her up short by saying that it wasn't the hiding that they loved so much as it was the seeking. Then Teddy had piped in, finishing his brother's thought as only he was able to. Kate smiled and remembered Teddy's beautiful clear voice saying, "the best part is the _finding,_ Mom."

Kate began to pull some ivy that threatened to completely obscure the piece of polished gneiss and changed her mind, instead she pulled one dead leaf off of its tendrils and left it to complete the course of its ramblings.

The only thing in the clearing that remained perfectly intact from before the time that they had come was the large boulder at its center. Kate looked at it now, she remembered the time long ago when she sat upon it thinking that she might spend the rest of her days there alone, unable to leave Jack and unable to join him as he lay recovering with Bernard and Rose. She remembered the desolation she faced that morning, thinking that he had not wanted her. She remembered the piercing sweetness of the joy she felt when he had come to her. His love for her was the single most beautiful gift of her life; it was a serendipitous, unexpected thing. She knew very well that she did not truly deserve it and that realization provided the most glorious aspect of his gift, it was not earned, it was free. She didn't ever have to live up to him, nor he to her. She was at liberty to love him fully, unfettered by any hint of exchange. And she had. Oh she had. Jack owned her heart fully almost from the time she had met him and he still did. Even now it was as if the world that had been dark in his absence, lit up when he was near.

Kate continued to prepare a simple meal for Jack, she gathered the tea and fruit and placed it on a polished piece of wood that served as a platter with a shaky hand and moved to the boulder to sit and rest while she waited for him to come back from setting the nets. She was not hungry, her ability to eat much had passed in these past weeks but she was grateful for every small thing that she could still do and setting the tea was one of them. She turned and faced the path so that she would see him when he came, the light of the dawn was dim but it would brighten soon.

Jack took the path with a quick step; he hated to leave Kate alone for long. He could see that she was getting weaker day by day. It would not be long now. Jack pushed all the implications of that thought deliberately out of his mind. Now more than at any other time in his life, he was contemplating only the present, the future was utterly unthinkable.

Jack arrived at the first clearing, Bernard and Rose's humble cabin still stood; there was even a ring in the grass beside it where they had all spent so many nights together telling stories. As he looked around, Jack felt a poignant pang of loss, Bernard and Rose had been gone for many years now. After the twins were born it had become a nightly ritual to meet at the fire to remember and relay all the books that they had read. By plumbing the depths of their memories for all the stories that had captured and formed their imaginations over the years, their retellings became an art. They built a narrative world to inhabit for each other and most especially for their boys. Over the years every story they had ever read had been told before Rose and Bernard's fire. It became a wealth of literature that even Sawyer might have appreciated. Jack smiled ruefully, he had not thought of that son of a bitch for a long time. Jack shook his head, even though the description was appropriate, he had still been a real friend.

Initially Jack had great fears of raising their children alone on the island without the benefit of modern medicine. He would wake up at night in a cold sweat thinking of the dangers which might befall his sons. As the years went on however, Jack's fears had been as much about the boy's minds as their bodies. Jack feared ignorance even more fundamentally than disease and danger, this was a fear that Kate shared as well. He and Kate and even Bernard and Rose had talked many long nights about the problem and they had all dedicated themselves to imparting whatever knowledge they possessed on to the twins. By the time that they were fully grown and their island education had been complete, both boys were wise with a depth of understanding far beyond their years. When the heart breaking time had come for them to leave and make there way in the greater world, they were the finest young men that Jack had ever known.

Jack entered the clearing they called home and saw Kate sitting on the boulder waiting patiently for him to return. Even after all of these years she still held on to her remarkable beauty. Her hair now white was still thick and long, framing her face as ever with its luxuriant curls, Jack smiled at the thought of his intimate acquaintance with it over the years.

Kate who had always been so strong was now as fragile as a tiny bird, Jack feared that she might break with every movement that she made. Age had crept up quickly and shaken her body from the inside out. Without diagnostic tools there was no sure way for Jack to know exactly what was happening to her, but Jack suspected that it was her heart. He knew with no doubt that for Kate there wasn't much time.

Jack realized really fully for the first time, that Kate sat on that boulder every day to wait for his return from setting the nets. Jack ducked his head and looked at the ground, smiling at the wonder of it. She was waiting for him. It always surprised him, the fact that she loved him so much. Jack loved her, that he knew, he wondered if he had from the moment she had sewn the stitches into his back so long ago. The birth of his feeling for her was hard to pinpoint, it was so powerful. For Jack, Kate was like the force of gravity, a constant abiding law of nature. It was almost impossible to imagine her absence, without her, he would have no center; he would be floating adrift in the world.

Jack met Kate's eyes as he entered the clearing and what he saw there almost shattered his heart. It was as if the sun had come out for the first time, her face revealed such a sweetened countenance upon seeing him.

"Jack, do you think that we could take a little walk this morning?" Kate looked curiously at the net still in Jack's hand and spoke quietly as she handed him his morning tea.

"I don't think so, I think that we should stay here, you need to rest." Jack would have done anything for Kate but when he saw her shaking hands and her labored breathing he thought that this was one request he may not be able to fulfill, he didn't think she was up for it.

Kate knew what Jack was thinking and she restated her request. "Jack, I don't want to just sit here and wait. I can do a lot of things but not that. I need to do. If I get too tired I can lean on you or we can even stop for a little while. But Jack please don't ask me to just sit here and bide my time."

Jack looked down at her, if it were up to him he would figure out a way to prolong every moment she had left. He knew it was foolish but he somehow thought that perhaps if he kept her completely still, she could stay with him just a little while longer. That wasn't fair and he knew it.

Kate knew the truth of it and she wouldn't allow it, she had to let go and so did Jack, sitting there would not make it any easier.

"All right Kate, a little walk. Not too far though, where will it be today?"

"Jack, there are some guavas in the orchard that are ready," Kate corrected herself quickly after she saw the look on Jack's face at the very idea of her picking any guavas, she smiled, did he think she was going to be climbing trees? She continued, "but somehow I don't want to do that, or I mean watch you do that today. Let's just see where our feet take us."

Jack nodded, and stood, he offered his arm to Kate almost as if he were fourteen again and ushering at his cousin's wedding, for some odd reason this little walk felt like a formal affair.

They circled the two clearings, Jack tried to force them both in a homeward direction but Kate wordlessly steered them a little further afield. Even still she had a yen to explore, and she knew where every path led but she didn't want to see the same old ones, she wanted to go in the direction of the beach, not their beach but the old one, the twins had called it 815. They loved to hear their parent's story, it had come to them from Rose and Bernard. Kate and Jack did not talk much about their original span of time on the island, it felt like another era somehow. The years after the birth of the twins were ones in which their hearts were utterly intertwined, the years before that seemed dissonant somehow, the pitch hadn't been perfected. But today Kate needed to hearken back.

Kate became a little wobbly on her feet and for a moment everything became fuzzy and dark. Jack put his arm over her shoulders and supported her as she stumbled and nearly fell, he had not been paying particular attention to the direction they were going in, his eyes were on Kate alone.

"Kate, we are stopping now. After you get your breath back we are going back home."

Kate recovered her breath and looked around. "Jack, look."

Jack looked up impatiently, he was angry at himself for letting Kate override his common sense yet again, he needed to get her back.

He did a double take, it was the cave.

Kate took Jack's hand in her own and led him to the cave's mouth. The light was dim but the entrance was wide enough to let in a warming stream of sunlight that pierced the interior. Kate's eyes came to rest on the glint of something shining in the single shaft of light, it was the tiny plane. She lifted it and held it in the open palm of her hand in front of Jack.

Jack looked upon the object, he did not like it, he never had but he was curious about what it meant, why they saw it just now, today.

Kate felt the onset of another bout of wooziness, the darkness came upon her so swiftly that it knocked her down. She fell at Jack's feet suddenly, he had no time to break her fall this time.

"Kate! Kate." Jack leaned down falling to his knees by her side, he lifted her head gently to see if she had taken a blow, no thank god her head was not bleeding. He put his ear to her chest in desperate attempt to assess her condition, her heart was beating but erratically. He placed his hands upon her cheeks and willed her to wake. He breathed her name, "Kate, can you hear me?"

Her eyelids fluttered open, "Jack, I want you to have this, please take it now." Kate pushed the plane at him. Jack accepted it into his hand.

"Kate, will you let me lift you? Will you let me take you back home?" Jack was pleading with her, his words said one thing but Kate knew what he really wanted. Jack was asking her not to go.

She tried to obey, she tried with all of her heart not to go, but her body would not comply. She had the strength for only one more thing.

"Jack, I love you." Kate lifted her hand and placed it into Jack's larger one and turned her face to his with a faint and fleeting smile.

Jack looked at her, his Kate and watched as her chest ceased to rise and fall, he watched as her features somehow lost their animation in an instant. He watched her loss and felt his world end at that moment.

Jack reached over and placed his fingers upon the lids of her eyes and closed them one last time and then he placed his head upon her chest and wept.

When the last tear came he felt as if he was missing a large portion of his body, as if he had lost both legs and an arm and he would now need to learn to navigate without them. Jack shifted his weight, and looked around. He saw the tiny plane lying between them, he lifted it and placed it between his fingers and found Kate's hand again. He pressed the object into her fingers and felt its weight between them. As he did so, the light in the cave altered, the single shaft tilted and turned, its angle was different somehow and Jack looked wide eyed at the change.

He felt a surge of strength course through his spirit and he knew that the tiny plane had one last gift to impart. Jack allowed himself one small smile, Kate had not been able to stay but he knew now that he could go. He could join her, his heart surged and he looked at the form of his beloved and laid his body down.

Jack enfolded Kate's tiny hand into his own and for the last time, closed his eyes.

**_The end_**


End file.
